MSE Parents Club Part 9

weezl74

Fitzio wrote: »

Csh/Susan - I want to join you in summer 2011! I want to go back to work P/T in July, but need to work out if I would be better going back F/T with the aim of getting pregnant quickly and getting F/T wages on mat leave, then going P/T when number 2 is here. But don't want to miss out on Holly when it might not go to plan. Decisions...
I also feel guilty about returning to work with the aim of going on mat leave again very soon, but I suppose I may as well get it over with quickly. It won't make much difference to them if I left it another couple of years or not.

As I've recently come unstuck on the SMP thing for a second Mat Leave I thought I'd offer my understanding of how it works too Fitz. It's been quite a learning curve for me but I think I have read everything there is on SMP these last few months!

If you would be returning to the same workplace even if your contracted hrs would be different, you have not broken your continuous service (the 26 week thing). So you are eligible for SMP and mat benefits on that front. The other qualification is that in the 15th week before the EDD (ie when you are 25 weeks PG, you need to have earnt above the NI threshold averagely for the previous 8 week period. (all of this assumes you are paid monthly) The NI threshold is £95 per week. Assuming your salary is more than £95 per week, you therefore have to be earning again by your 17th week of pregnancy.

I hope that helps. In my case the sticky thing was that weeks 17-25 of my pregnancy were all in the unpaid period of Maternity Leave, so no pay at all (But more ok now... )

Another thought: A lot of women with a short gap before a 2nd mat leave feel guilt about their employer. But the OH nurse at my work said that particularly for a big employer it isn't such a big thing, they usually assume that a certain percentage of the workforce will have 2.4 babies (averagely!) during their working life and budget accordingly. To do it quicker is actually of slight benefit to them, since if your salary is slightly lower when you go off again, there are slightly lower contributions to be made by them.

Love weezl x

weezl74

Still catching up...

But wanted to ask a more selfish question: when Fergie was about 6 weeks old we went to look at DH's work's nursery. At the time we asked to be put on their waiting list cos we didn't think Kester would be along so soon .

Anyhoo, they rang yesterday and offered us thur and Fri PMs from March. I won't be working, but I just wondered if people thought it was a good idea and a justifiable expense cos of the closeness in age of Fergie and Kester, to have 2 afternoons a week to just focus on meeting Kester's needs?

Any thoughts welcomed

csh_2

weezl74 wrote: »

Still catching up...

But wanted to ask a more selfish question: when Fergie was about 6 weeks old we went to look at DH's work's nursery. At the time we asked to be put on their waiting list cos we didn't think Kester would be along so soon .

Anyhoo, they rang yesterday and offered us thur and Fri PMs from March. I won't be working, but I just wondered if people thought it was a good idea and a justifiable expense cos of the closeness in age of Fergie and Kester, to have 2 afternoons a week to just focus on meeting Kester's needs?

Any thoughts welcomed

I would defo thake the time to have one on one with Kester. I sometimes worry I'll not have an as strong bond with another baby cos I'll be shared between them, whereas currently K has my undivided attention whether he likes it or not lol

Re the mat leave and pay, it was always my understanding that you were still classed as employed while on ML so this time counts towards the next one. If all goes to plan I'll be back at work at least4 months before pregnant anyway

csh_2

BeenieCat wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl: Ah yeah, 'mothers' eh, haven't heard from mine since PsychoGate, thank god

Yeah the feeding is going well again, all of a sudden. I didn't ring the BF helpline back in the end cos she seemed to be getting better again and now after a few unsettled days she's being very perfect and sleeping in her moses basket for 3 hours at a time (and at night for a change!).

She still makes the tutting noise when she's feeding though but it's not hurting now and the midwife came today (no idea why, am already seeing the hv's) and seemed totally unconcerned and just said i should go to the support group which i plan to do.
Think she wasn't bothered because she's putting weight on, over 11 days she's gained 1lb 5oz.

Oh and the ex rang me last night declaring his love :rolleyes: Preying on my vulnerability to get his kicks i would think. I told him to get grovelling and to pull a miracle out of his backside and i think he decided that was too hard so had a change of heart again :rotfl: He reckons he's gonna get the train up here to see Amber at the weekend. I didn't refuse him so we'll see if he gets a better offer in the meantime. I told him to bring his walking shoes and i'll show him my doormat trick again so he can walk all over me as per usual. :rolleyes:.

Still having interweb troubles too, some bint in India cut me off after 30 mins of her telling me i am talking rollocks and i do have a connection. :mad: I was fuming, i'm not a moron i know how to check my modem and lappy lol.

Anyway enough of all that, feels like i only ever post to rant about myself! I do lurk though but get stuck in the trap of reading 10 pages in one go and forgetting it all. Can't do tabs or quoting either cos i'm on my phone and it's not that clever

Glad to hear things are a wee bit better. Take it it was Virgin?? My FIL chopped through my cable when we redone the driveway and they were like 'can you turn the modem off and on again', no you bloody moron, my cable is in 2 pieces just send someone out!!!!!!

Hmmmm, if he does come, don't fall for his crap!

Mazcabs

Becles wrote: »

I'm 5'4" and couldn't imagine being 8st either!

I looked slim when I got down to 9 stone once, but I hardly ate anything and was miserable because I was starving all the time.

Think I am about 5'6" and about 10 1/2 stone post baby...oh to go back to the days of being 7 stone!!!

csh wrote: »

I would defo thake the time to have one on one with Kester. I sometimes worry I'll not have an as strong bond with another baby cos I'll be shared between them, whereas currently K has my undivided attention whether he likes it or not lol

Trust me at the moment I am loving having a couple of days without Henry as well as William...

Fitzio

Morning Csh, Weezl, Becles, Maz and anyone lurking.

Thanks for that info Weezl. I had not started looking into it yet, so that's interesting and starts me off. I imagine earnings should be fine as only on SMP for 3 months.

Millie's_Mum

weezl74 wrote: »

I just wondered if people thought it was a good idea and a justifiable expense cos of the closeness in age of Fergie and Kester, to have 2 afternoons a week to just focus on meeting Kester's needs?

Any thoughts welcomed

Yes Yes and YES!

Angelfairy
I don't know if you remember but I had a HV who insisted on visiting me at home about Eloise's weight, despite the fact that I was happy there was nothing wrong with Ello and despite the fact that I have done this before and in theory should know what I am doing I felt EXACTLY the same way as you.

I think its natural to feel the way you do, but honestly try and have an open mind, the HV's visit was actually really positive for me in the end, even though I was dreading it in the same way as you are.

I think you know you need to have a good stab and trying to sort out babygirls sleep problems and it strikes me that its going to be easier to do it now than when she can get out of bed herself and/or shout No Mummy!, I guess she can probably say Mama now but when they can string 'No Mama' together and come downstairs after you it gets a whole lot harder!

annielove_3

Morning everyone very quickly, fitzo yes am in Scotland in Fife. Good news docs seem to be doing on the day appointments so we can be seen this morning am more looking forward to being able to get out house snow seems to be thawing out, must remember never ever to buy rear wheel drive car again its been impossible.

SeptemberBaby_2

weezl74 wrote: »

Still catching up...

But wanted to ask a more selfish question: when Fergie was about 6 weeks old we went to look at DH's work's nursery. At the time we asked to be put on their waiting list cos we didn't think Kester would be along so soon .

Anyhoo, they rang yesterday and offered us thur and Fri PMs from March. I won't be working, but I just wondered if people thought it was a good idea and a justifiable expense cos of the closeness in age of Fergie and Kester, to have 2 afternoons a week to just focus on meeting Kester's needs?

Any thoughts welcomed

Poppy goes to nursery two sessions a week and then its just me and Jamie. There is no childcare reason for her to go other than we want her to experience home with Mummy, home with Nanna & Grandad and fun with her peers (and of course messy play) at nursery! . We didn't send her until she was two though so I still had them both during Jamie's early months.

Are the costs reasonable? I pay £19 per 5hr session which includes all food and drink (I supply nappies and wipes) which I'm more than happy with.

xx

searching_me

morning morning morning ...
weezl i would take the nursery place gives you sometime just you and kester .. im so glad zoes at school then i can give them both attention without them fighting over it ..

mm hope hydro goes well ..

well jayden is being a good little boy sat watching daddy on computer :rolleyes: while nomnomnoming on a rusk .. i need to tidy but lack of enegry is stopping me why it is when its cold all you wanna do is cuddle up with the duvet on the sofa and do sod all .... ooo i do have to google storage boxes but not enough reason to sit on my bum is it .. hope everyone is well xxx