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What is a reasonable amount?
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Look at it this way... unless at some point you put your foot down then like my ex's parents you may have them AND their partners living with you till they are mid thirties...
We did buy a house whilst we were together which he promptly gutted and wasn't able to move into for another 7 years till he finished it... he moved in with his wife of about 2 months who was 9 months pregnant. This was less than 5 months after his dad passed away... so his poor mum went from having a VERY overcrowded house to rattling around there on her own in the space of less than 6 months
I think if they'd charged him rent he'd have been a lot more motivated to finish that house and move out... Whilst I lived there BTW I had to pay rent - which I didDFW Nerd #025DFW no more! Officially debt free 2017 - now joining the MFW's!
My DFW Diary - blah- mildly funny stuff about my journey0 -
Well - I would have thought that would be a (fair) incentive for an adult child to move out - ie that they couldnt live with a partner until they did so.
Obviously - an adult who is a child of yours is one thing - as you chose to have them in the first place. An adult who is nothing to do with you is quite another. So - this would be where one would welcome the partner as a visitor and then solicitously enquire how they planned to get home so late at night = by implication "home" is ELSEWHERE. If, on odd occasions, they missed the last bus or chance of a taxi back home - then they could blow up an air mattress themselves and put it on the sitting room floor overnight. Dont think they would be staying over very often somehow:D - and that sort of "arrangement" being made would make it obvious that they were a welcome guest - but didnt live in my home and never would.
I have heard of adult children moving a partner in as well - and that is "taking the michael" I feel.
In this day and age too - one has to take into account whether they are going to get pregnant and expect the child to be housed as well as themselves. I would be very "firm" about that as well - "Dont you decide to get pregnant and expect to live here. If you want to get pregnant - then make sure you're all set up properly in your own home and married to the father-to-be before you do that. I wont be having any grandchildren living here." That would give them another (fair) incentive to move out - ie if they wanted children or knew they were prone to being a bit "careless".0 -
I would expect her to pay you £200 minimum per month, no matter what her wage is! That is still cheap considering what you are providing for her. Paying her way should come before going out, treats, even saving (although that should come next, no matter how little it all adds up!). Stick to your guns and do not let her set the rate- it is your house not hers!Ermutigung wirkt immer besser als Verurteilung.
Encouragement always works better than judgement.0 -
Oldernotwiser wrote: »And I can't understand why people with "children" in their twenties and older living at home seem to think that this is a sign of successful parenting!
I went to Uni at 17, stayed with mum and sister, as they lived 15 mins away from Uni. Sister was working and paid rent, I also paid rent (although less than sister but I did more other things in the house, eg cooking dinner for us, so it worked out fine). I moved out for a year in 3rd year, then back home for final year. Sister then moved out, followed by me when I went to live in England for a bit. When I came back to Glasgow to do a PhD I could have rented a room in a flatshare and managed cost wise (got a meagre but liveable stipend from Uni), but as mum was on her own then we decided it would make sense for me to move into the spare room (had a lot of my old furniture still in it anyway!)- however we worked out how much we would need to pay bills wise and I paid my mum a sensible rent/keep. Again we shared cooking, household chores etc and both enjoyed each others company. Once I earned more I treated mum more (nicer food etc) but I did eventually move out again into a flat of my own (and was able to budget, a lot I put down to mum setting sensible ground rules at the start!). So basically I am saying, adult child living with parent can be a good thing in some cases, as long as noone is sponging/taking advantage.
But as I said in earlier post if one person is living the life of riley at others expense then it is not on!Ermutigung wirkt immer besser als Verurteilung.
Encouragement always works better than judgement.0 -
In some ways it is a sign of good parenting that the children want to spend time with their parents.
My brother lived at home until he finished uni aged 22, although he moved away for his work placement year.
My two brothers share a house now. Eldest bought the house and youngest helps with the mortgage. They like each other - sometimes families do.52% tight0 -
Oldernotwiser wrote: »And I can't understand why people with "children" in their twenties and older living at home seem to think that this is a sign of successful parenting!
I agree with this 100%!!**Thanks to everyone on here for hints, tips and advice!**:D
lostinrates wrote: »MSEers are often quicker than google
"Freedom is the right to tell people what they don't want to hear" - G. Orwell0 -
i think you could say 100 pounds a month to start with and review it in 6 months timeReplies to posts are always welcome, If I have made a mistake in the post, I am human, tell me nicely and it will be corrected. If your reply cannot be nice, has an underlying issue, or you believe that you are God, please post in another forum. Thank you0
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How much is dole money anyway?
I do think £80 is too low, but if she isn't working then I'm not sure if it would be fair to take more than half of the dole money? Not sure though, I haven't thought about it enough52% tight0 -
How much is dole money anyway?
I do think £80 is too low, but if she isn't working then I'm not sure if it would be fair to take more than half of the dole money? Not sure though, I haven't thought about it enoughI try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once0 -
surely, if a % isn't considered fair then the most appropriate way to calculate it would be to base it on local rents for equivalent accomodation.Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants - Michael Pollan
48 down, 22 to go
Low carb, low oxalate Primal + dairy
From size 24 to 16 and now stuck...0
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