***Sat/Sun 19/20 December weekend chat - 6 more sleeps to go!

Burlesque_Babe

beanielou wrote: »

BB~He ia a bit of an twit isent he?

sadly, sigh, he is

beanielou wrote:

What do u want to happen next?

I honestly don't know. I've played out a splitting up speech a thousand times in many different scenarios. I've prepared what to say to him when he turns up - basically that at 51 he doesn't have the emotional maturity to maintain an adult relationship but that he is well aware of what he is doing and if he chooses to keep sabotaging what we have, he has to take responsibility for it......deep down I think he dreads being on his own, but at the same time he almost deliberately does/says things to push me away. Only a few nights ago I woke in the night and all the quilt was on the floor on his side. I pulled some over me and he snarled 'what are you doing?' and when I said I just wanted some quilt over me he said 'just what is your circumference?' I ignored him, he then repeated it a few minutes later and I ignored him again.

sallyx

BB you say he dreads being on his own but is the one pushing you away...what do you want, I mean this is his doing, and his actions are affecting you, but if he ended things tomorrow how would you feel?

LouiseJ

I fancy making toffee vodka, I had some when I was in Cornwall and it was lush I think it is the only spirit I have ever tried neat.

Burlesque_Babe

spud30 wrote: »

BB, how do you make mars bar vodka? I really fancy a try of it :beer:

method 1

empty vodka into a container
cut 5 mars bars into strips and push into the empty bottle
add vodka up to the neck, stick the lid on
put in dishwasher
or put in hot water in sink . If you put it in the sink, keep turning the bottle and changing the water to keep it hot.

Put in fridge overnight when it's all dissolved

method 2

-chop mars bars into a pan
-add a decent slug of double cream (kind of amount - whatever you have left in the tub!) and stir on a low heat until all dissolved. The nougat bits can take a few minutes.
-carefully pour into the vodka. I used 2/3 bottle of vodka for this amount of liquid
-the melted chocolate goes to the bottom of the bottle - don't panic :eek:
-pop the lid on and gently tip up and down until it is all mixed and any little bits of chocolate that hardened have re-melted
-stick in the fridge over night

The cream is literally just to stop the chocolate burning in the pan so about half a small tub is plenty.

scaredy_cat

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

sadly, sigh, he is




I honestly don't know. I've played out a splitting up speech a thousand times in many different scenarios. I've prepared what to say to him when he turns up - basically that at 51 he doesn't have the emotional maturity to maintain an adult relationship but that he is well aware of what he is doing and if he chooses to keep sabotaging what we have, he has to take responsibility for it......deep down I think he dreads being on his own, but at the same time he almost deliberately does/says things to push me away. Only a few nights ago I woke in the night and all the quilt was on the floor on his side. I pulled some over me and he snarled 'what are you doing?' and when I said I just wanted some quilt over me he said 'just what is your circumference?' I ignored him, he then repeated it a few minutes later and I ignored him again.

BB, there was no need for that attitude from him - what is it you are with him for? just to not be alone? if that is so, is he really worth the attitude and ( in my opinon) abuse you get from him verbally?

LouiseJ

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

sadly, sigh, he is
I honestly don't know. I've played out a splitting up speech a thousand times in many different scenarios. I've prepared what to say to him when he turns up - basically that at 51 he doesn't have the emotional maturity to maintain an adult relationship but that he is well aware of what he is doing and if he chooses to keep sabotaging what we have, he has to take responsibility for it......deep down I think he dreads being on his own, but at the same time he almost deliberately does/says things to push me away. Only a few nights ago I woke in the night and all the quilt was on the floor on his side. I pulled some over me and he snarled 'what are you doing?' and when I said I just wanted some quilt over me he said 'just what is your circumference?' I ignored him, he then repeated it a few minutes later and I ignored him again.

BB that has made me so sad yet at the same time so !!!!!!! angry:mad:

How DARE he speak to you like that, he is supposed to care for you not hurt you at every opportunity, he sounds very controlling to me keeps you just where HE needs you to be.

Is this ever going to get any better or can you live like this forever.......which is a long time my friend.:grouphug:

Burlesque_Babe

sallyx wrote: »

BB you say he dreads being on his own but is the one pushing you away...what do you want, I mean this is his doing, and his actions are affecting you, but if he ended things tomorrow how would you feel?

this is his own doing and he knows he does it - every time we have a big conversation about how he takes the pish about turning up so late I get the 'oh, I won't be late anymore' and I tell him it will last for 1 night - and it does :rolleyes:

If he ended things tomorrow.......if I'm brutally honest I think I'd be a mess (well, privately, I would just put on a show in public and nobody would know ) I'd be 39, fat, single for the first time since I was 19 and 4 days away from Christmas. Not good.

beanielou

BB~sorry but i have to agree with scardy~ that is emotional abuse.
Not that I can talk~at least you have a man!

sallyx

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

this is his own doing and he knows he does it - every time we have a big conversation about how he takes the pish about turning up so late I get the 'oh, I won't be late anymore' and I tell him it will last for 1 night - and it does :rolleyes:

If he ended things tomorrow.......if I'm brutally honest I think I'd be a mess I'd be 39, fat, single for the first time since I was 19 and 4 days away from Christmas. Not good.

So you love him and are happy to carry on this way? Do you think there is ever any chance of him changing and making you truely happy.
Yes you may be 39 and single but that doesn't stop you from enjoying the rest of your life hun!

beanielou

Im 47 , fat & single.
It has good points & bad points