To work or to be a SAHM?

honey28

Is taking a career break an option - say even for a minimum of 3 months. That way you can judge how well off (or not) you would be financially and could work it from there. Another option - how about becoming a registered childminder and caring for other children whilst you bring up your own? You could even attend a P/T evening class which would help you when the time comes to go back to work (once your child is settled at school). Or could you do ironing from home and make some extra £ that way?

I work p/t - 4 mornings pw, 20hpw in total. Its enough! As someone said its harder working P/T - you are up and out anyway, sometimes it makes more sense to stay out! By the time you travel to and fro work there isn't much left of the day.

I have often considered working from home - setting up my own business - financially I can't afford to and to be honest, what would I do??!

Good Luck with whatever you decide.

Baileys_Babe

I'm currently going through the same dilema, have decided to return p/t and review in 3 months, with on going reviews every 3 months with how this situation is affecting each of us.

I feel I need to spend time in adult company, unsure if this is going to be the best job in the long term, will need to start looking for a suitable alternative.

I have considered child minding myself and may do this in the future but at the moment I need structure and adult company.

Quackers

Lillibet wrote:

Thanks Scrooge, looking for an alternative job is definately on my adgenda, trouble is I have literally no experience in any other field, I don't know what employers look for in supermarket staff or waitresses for example & I seriously doubt they would pay enough to meet childcare costs? Would I be considered over qualified or unreliable as I have a young child?
.

Hi Lillibet,

I'm a retail manager and I'd give you a job!!

you sound like in a work enviroment you'd be organised & hard working.

Experience in retail is irrelevant - hard work & a willingness to learn is all that is required. Oh, and a sense of humour and good customer service skills

Maybe some employers would see you as over qualified - i dont know what you do.

I definately wouldn't see you as unreliable - you have bills to pay & have wanted to return to work - why shouldn't you be given a chance? The uni student with a hangover is probably more likely to phone in sick than you? I'd presume that if you were applying for the job you would have all aspects of childcare covered & anyway I'd get sued for asking too many childcare related questions :rolleyes: - perfect from your point of view

Good luck with whatever you decide. Whatever you decide to do will obviously be right for you and if it doesn't work out you can always give the other option a try. xx

Lillibet_2

Thanks everyoen for your kind replies & suggestions.

A few answers :

Baileys Babe & Honey28: I don't think a career break would help, firstly beacuse I have always considered my job a job not a career (I'm a legal exec, which is really just a glorified administrator). I also don't feel we need to evaluate the financial situation to be honest, I have been on 6 months unpaid additional maternity leave & have always had a budget. We know my hubbys salary is £250 per month too low for us to live on, we have a slush fund to make up this shortfall which should last us another 12-18 months if necessary & no big expenses crop up, plus our longer term savings for times of crisis but I am trying to avoid touching these.
I had previously considered Ironing from home but had forgotton all about the idea, I may try putting up some cards in newsagents etc & see what response I get. Thanks:T

Shays Mum : Unfortuantely a Nanny is wayyyyyyyyyy beyond our budget, but I have forward the weblink to 2 friends who I know are considering this option. It looks like a really good informative site for someone in a good position.

Black Saturn : A nice idea in principal but I fear would not work with my very inquisitive son, also if I don't go back to work I will have to ditch the car & then be stuck for transport beyond my small village.

Threadhead : I love my son to death & will willingley put up with him spraying me with mashed avocado but fear I may murder anyone elses child who tried to do it!
But seriusly, my home is ancient & not upto to many children, we have a dog, I don't have the available space to accomdate a serious play area, Hubby works shifts, childminding just wouldn't work for so many reasons for me.

Madauri : Since having Spud I have become fascinated by people who claim to work from home so that they can be with their children! How? The only way I could work from home during the day would be if Spud was in childcare.....he totally demands every second of my attention. And he is not a particually demanding child, just a normal active, inquisitve 10 month old. How do people do it?

The more I read & answer questions on this, the more that I am getting the feeling that I am looking for something to focus on, to hold onto my adult life/sanity, rather than just being "Mum". Nothing could amaze me more, I honestly thought that what I wanted most from my life was to be a Mum & give every second to my family. Maybe the best thing I could do would be to concentrate on being the best possible mum & housewife I can be & run it like a business, thus still giving my son the love & attention that every child deserves but hanging onto my identiy at the same time by being the very best I can be at it.

But I'm still not sure

Lillibet_2

Quackers wrote:

Hi Lillibet,

I'm a retail manager and I'd give you a job!!

Quackers you are such a sweetie!:T:A:T
You don't happen to need any staff in the West Molesey/Walton on Thames vacinity do you?:rotfl:

sundin13

Lilibet...just an fyi. Our joint income is pretty much the same as yours, and we get a good chunk of tax credit. You can estimate how much you'll get on the website http://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx

In your earning situation, it doesn't seem that the vouchers would be any use to you...its only if you or hubby pay higher rate tax that its worthwhile.

You can also estimate your after tax earnings on this calculator. http://www.pru.co.uk/home/calculator/income_tax/

Hope these help you out a bit

S13

culpepper

I had this same dilema years ago. My job was in London and we were in Kent.
I had to weigh up the costs of transport to work and child care and it didnt look pretty ,plus I had always wanted to be a SAHM . Anyway we left our options open concerning me returning to work (I earned more than DH) . When DS was 6 months old and time for me to return or not, I bit the bullet and stayed home. Eventually the Maternity payments ended and we were living on OH's wage and finding things very hard so I reviewed all our spending and carefully cut it where ever I could .
Im still a SAHM nearly 18 years later . Now I look back at our situation,I can see that it would have been easier for us financially if we had just moved closer to London and I had gone back to work (OH also works there) but....
Im so glad we didn't . I used to really love my job , I had known most of the workforce since I was 16 and they were almost like family but life moves on you do make new friends and interests.
Everyone is different though ,good luck with whatever you decide.

Spendless

Lillibet- You have mentioned £250 being the discrepency a month. I'd say you either have to work to net that amount, cut back to spend that amount less or use your savings. Are you getting the best deal out of mortgage, utilities, phone. Is there anything that could go? If your slush fund could last upto 18 months more then you are nearer to Spud being 3 and getting the funding I spoke of earlier.

The link I should have given earlier was www.entitledto.co.uk
I put in your salary of £21,000 and it give me an entitlement of £547.50p.a. This is the family element of roughly £10 p.a . I put Spuds age as being 1 as I know he will be in a few weeks.

TBH I was surprised at that as I always thought the family element kicked in around £25k but I'm guessing that it is the just 1 child that makes it so. The poster that mentioned getting a good chunk of tax credit do you have more than 1 child or is the calculation site wrong.

I then put in an income of £30,000 with weekly childcare costs of £84. It give me an entitlement of around £630 eg you would get less than £100 a year towards childcare.

TBH You might be better off with the vouchers. These aren't just for people on higher salaries though those that are do get a better % off. your personal allowance gives you about £5k before you pay tax then I think you pay at 10% on so much before you go on to 22%. It is NI free too so you can get upto 33% off if a standard rate tax payer. You'd need to know where the tax brackets kick in and if it would work out cheaper that way than tax credits help with childcare. There is a thread running on the vouchers on this board wher you could ask

Girl_least_likely_to

I've read this thread with interest as I am due back to work in 4 weeks . Our income is virtually indentical to yours Lillibet, and we've got a £250 shortfall each month that's being dripfed by savings too. I'm lucky in that my MIL will be looking after DD for 3 short days a week. I had originally thought that I would be putting DD in nursery (at "only" £105 for 3 days) but to our surprise she offered so I thought it silly to turn down. I really can't face the thought of going back a to job I hate either but needs must I suppose. OH is facing a career change the month after I return to work to be self employed so I may be the bread winner of the family :rolleyes: . If his business takes off, fingers crossed, I may be a SAHM one day. Anyway, I can't really offer any advice, just wanted to wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. It's a tough one isn't it.

madauri

Another thought, don't know if it'll be helpful but you won't know either if I don't tell:
why about staying home for a while and joining one of those mums' groups that meet in the mornings? That would help you be in contact with the outer world. Then, you can deal with you partner so that he shares into the baby care in his free time so that you can have a little independence as well and go out and do other things and meet other people whose main interest are not bibs & nappies.
A balanced life keeps a balanced mind