To work or to be a SAHM?

sugaJen

Might not be of much help but thought I'd put my bit in,

Obviously money is an issue to everyone, how much better off would you be? and do you really need it? I dont know how old your little one is but I went back to work when my DD was 6 months and stopped again when I found I was pregnant :eek: but I preferred to be home with my kids, I like taking them to school and picking them up, now there abit older I like watching the little assemby's they do (my mum could never make it to mine 'cos of work) and occasionally Im asked by the nursery to attend school trips to help out, its great.
Im a single parent now and living off benefits which i feel slightly bad about but until my youngest goes full time in Jan next year I dont want child minders/day care picking her up, -not because I think they shouldnt- because I want to do it myself, then I'd like something part time so I could be with my kids as much as possible while they are young. (hehe ill go full time when they hit teens!!)

Lillibet_2

Many many thanks to everyone for your input & advice.:A:A:A

I made a decision on Friday afternoon & the more I have thought about it over the weekend the happier I am so I know it is the right decision. I am going to resign from work & stay at home as a full time Mum. Money wise it won't be any different since I went on maternity leave, we are already living on a bare bones budget & living costs dictate that we will continue to go backwards but we expected this & have our slush fund to keep us going for a while longer yet, then we still have savings if I can't find work or really feel I still can't go back in a year or so's time. Work are unable to offer me the hours I would like so would have no choice but to use chiuldcare most of the time and after deducting this cost & running a car I would end up with £65 a month. I feel a bit bad about effectivly putting a price on the care of my son & making the decision for economic reasons rather than impartially but that's life I guess:rolleyes:

I must admit I am envious of those who talk of expensive child care at £30 a day.......here childminders are £45+ & nurseries start at £62:eek: At least lower costs would have given me more of an option to make the decision for personal reasons rather than being dictated to by money:rolleyes:

However, for whatever reason, I am confident that this is the right decision for us.

Thank you for everyone sharing their experiences & offering advice, I really have appreciated it.:beer::T

Threadhead

Well done on your decision - I think its the right one!

jellyhead

glad you've made a decision

i have thought about working a few times in the last couple of months, purely for financial reasons but i know we're all happier with me as a SAHM. if finances get desperate i could always look for bar work etc. during the times my husband is home so he can do the childcare.

it is a difficult choice and one that women seem to get criticised for no matter what decision they make lol!

sugajen i used to help out in nursery and school etc. before i had my recent baby and it really is a valuable thing to do, it makes such a difference when there are helpers and benefits the whole nursery. i know what you mean about being able to attend the assemblies, daytime plays amnd sports days etc. but working can be much more fexible now compared to when we were little ourselves. my husband asked for flexible working, not a lot has changed but he is able to go in a bit later if needs be so he can get my son to school if for example i'm in hospital or have had an asthma attack and he can take time out for sports days etc. i suppose not all employers allow for that kind of flexibility but for parents who can get it it's a lot nicer than when we were little and only the SAHMs came to sports days etc. and if you were poorly you had to sit by the office all day with a sick bucket because nobody would collect you from school.

i'm jealous this year because i have the baby and can't go as a helper on all the school trips, i love going to see shakespeare with the schoolkids and going to the church for brass rubbing and bell-ringing. i know to some people that's their idea of torture but i love it

Spendless

Lillibet wrote:

. Work are unable to offer me the hours I would like so would have no choice but to use chiuldcare most of the time and after deducting this cost & running a car I would end up with £65 a month. I feel a bit bad about effectivly putting a price on the care of my son & making the decision for economic reasons rather than impartially but that's life I guess:rolleyes:

I must admit I am envious of those who talk of expensive child care at £30 a day.......here childminders are £45+ & nurseries start at £62:eek: At least lower costs would have given me more of an option to make the decision for personal reasons rather than being dictated to by money:rolleyes:

However, for whatever reason, I am confident that this is the right decision for us.

:T

Lillibet-I am really pleased you've made a decision :T don't feel bad about it. I never returned to my job with eldest as I would have ended up coming out with £25 a week for full-time work. :eek: Only when relatives could help out have I been able to work.

Do you fancy moving to Yorkshire? There's a house for sale 4 doors away from me. Local nursery £25 a day;)
[STRIKE]and can you view it this afternoon and babysit for me cos I have no-one to look after my 3 yo today and am going to have to miss my course [/STRIKE]

Girl_least_likely_to

Well done on making a decision . I'm sure you've made the right one for your family.

I suppose I would be making the same decision as you had MIL not offered to mind DD for free. I'm not sure if I'm lucky or not. If I was to pay for childcare I would have to work more hours or not work at all. Hmm, wonder which one I'd choose .

Good Luck anyway, it'll be lovely being at home with your LO

bobsa1

Well done on making the right decision for you. Nothing is for ever and you can change your mind whenever you want.

Well done and good luck!

rchddap1

Going to have to make a similar decision myself at some point in the future and I've been reading through your deliberations with great interest. There is a lot going on in my life at the moment and so for bean's sake I'm trying to ignore the whole lot. Don't want to get myself stressed right now.

Congrats on making the decision