Annoyed

mrcow

TheEffect wrote: »

I'm glad I'm not your son/daughter. You sound very stuck up and angry. Where have I said that I've been living there up until this month rent free? How do you know my mother has been providing for me all those 18 years? You know nothing and your basing your opinion on speculation, possibly because how things have gone in your life? Once again, where do I state I think I have some sort of moral right over her? You sound very old fashioned, in the fact that you think the world owes you something, and that everything your children own actually belongs to you.

So are you now sayng that your mother hasn't brought you up? Supported you? Is this what you are now saying about her? Lets get this straight.....has she not provided for you?

And the moral condecention comes from you saying things like "How do you think that makes me feel?" to your own mother. You're 18 years old - but you've got some growing up to do.

ManOnTheMoon

OP has every right to feel aggrieved.

He helps his mother out of a tight situation by going into his overdraft, lending her £60, paying rent before it was due and paying for her petrol money.

By going and spending the first £100 on a mirror, the mother has shown complete disrespect to her son, and if I ever did that to my girls, i'd expect them to give me verbals as well.

Respect is a two way thing, doesn't stop when your child hits 18 and being a parent and providing should be unconditional, regardless of what they have done for child over the years, after all it's the responsibility you take on, you shouldn't need eternal thanks as the job never ends.

It's hardly an example to set to your son is it? Luckily, he seems to have his head screwed on.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

It probably wouldn't be in her best interest to start relying on the money now, though. Six months of an extra £200 cash would make it much easier to throw it around a bit - although I can see that she may be treating it as her extra money, which, if she has managed perfectly well until, she would be perfectly reasonable to do.

The problem comes if she hasn't been able to meet her obligations before and still isn't managing to do so, if this has just upped the spending on flimflammery.

In those circumstances, and because it is easy to resent handing over cash to fund unnecessary purchases, it would be better to actually pay proper bills. Then, if she decides to use her own money for nonsense, at least the contribution the OP has made is clearly been used to go on essentials. More a change of perspective than anything else. And, if the OP is actually being a little unfair, actually seeing the bills and the reality of paying them might soften their opinion. If not, they are at least being reliably paid, so there shouldn't be a problem.