am i missing somthing (mrs dazzanator)

dazzanator

hi my oh has said to come on this site to get help and suport with sorting our money out he also said that it is a place where people can help you save money and give you frendly adivce

i have been on here reading through a lot of threads and posts and cant belive how two faced some of you are

please dont get me wrong some of you are very kind and supportive of people but some off you are just really hard and some of you i dont know why you are bothering to come on this site at all

the sort of things im on about is telling somone that they deserve to be on their !!!!!! even though she came on here for help spending 75.00 on a night out every now again because your a bit stressed is not a crime espically when so many of you are telling ss to spend money he dosnt have on a football game and some off you are saying that you have treat money mybe that was there treat

i dont understand why you are so hard on people yes pay back your debt at amount that you can aford but no dont have ago at some one because they dont want to do it your way there have been other thing said on this site when people have come here to be helped which i wont go into now

can someone please tell me whats happened here because what my oh has said about this place and what i have read on this place are two different things all together i know some of you are lovey all the time lynzpower calley w marberrie ss james but some of you are just to hard

Anastacia

I am not sure I can see how we can be two faced. Are we saying horrid things about someone somewhere else ? We can't always provide consistent advice because we are all different people.

Sometimes we want to be told to buck up. There is always tough love available here. Cant recall anyone ever being mean to me though. (aha, I see why now - I have never mentioned csa, benefits or bankruptcy & took the advice i was given with sky ! Thank Emmzi)

Anastacia

Emmzi

Hi Mrs Dazz and welcome!

Hmm... what are we like as a bunch? Ready to offer lots of advice, opinions and emotional support!

Why does it sometimes seem like people are harsh?

1. Sometimes a topic will turn one or more posters into that bloke down the pub with the really fixed opinion he won't let go of :-) Topics in this category include CSA, people living on benefits, bankruptcy as the 'easy choice',SKY Tv, and many many more.

2. Sometimes, someone will ask for 'advice' when what they actually mean is 'I've already made my mind up and I want you to tell me I'm right.' That REALLY winds people up,as it means they are wasting their time.

Best advice from me- take what is useful to you and ignore the rest. You don't have to live with these people or work with them And you will soon work out whose advice you most appreciate.

lynzpower

thanks for thinking im Nice Mrs Dazzanator.

I think the longer you spend on here, the more you get to know who you always tend to agree with, and those you tend not to agree with. thats human nature I guess, I wouldnt walk into a pub and agree with everyone in there, so I guess here would be no different. However, I agree with the vast majority in here, and thats more than can be said if you walked into your local boozer or other "communities"

I did see the comment you referred to and I do believe that Miss K is a bit harsh, but if you read her story you can understand where shes coming from. Its sounds like she has been royally stuffed over on debt that wasnt her fault/ making and I for one can understand why she might be angry and annoyed. Doesnt mean I always agree with what shes saying though, we have disagreed a few times.

However, I dont want to live in a world where we are all the same & all have the same opinons, I think its good for us to be challenged by things we dont agree with and think about things from different perspectives, even just for a a few minutes.

All together now "what we need, is a great big melting pot..."

domestic_goddess

I think what emmzi said is spot on. The people are not two faced on here just there are so many people that they have so many different opinions. Also that wasn't a great example to pick I think as everyone here is familiar with southern scousers posts and know how hard he has worked to get to his target. Everyone deserves a treat (especially a once in a lifetime one).

I hope that you stick around as there is so much good advice available on here. For every person you get who judges/speaks harshly etc you will get about fifty peices of invaluable advice or even just some positive vibes sent your way

dazzanator

hi thankyou for you kind words could you please tell csa is and why bankrupcty and benifits and sky wind people up here thanks mrs dazzanator

CosmoCat

hi mrs. dazz!

sorry you feel that some of the posts or posters on here are two-faced. i suppose because we're all different people we all come up with different solutions to the same problem and we have different ways of putting it across.

some folks have been on the forum for a while and know the style of most of the posters on here. some are more straightforward in their approach and might be direct with someone who says they want to be debt free but then go and spend money on foolishness (i know i'm always going on about paying debts, and sometimes i go spend lots of money on silliness like drink and some of the people on here have followed my story so will be very straight with me, which i appreciate.)

emmzi is right tho'. in the end, you just have to take what is useful to you. it would take ages for us all to get to know each other personally, and know each other's life story, and public forums and posts sometimes just aren't adequate vehicles to show how a person really feels.

if you feel some people are being harsh to a particular poster, then join the thread and say so. our society is built on lively discussion and long may it continue.

thanks for this thread, i think you'll start a great discussion here. (sorry if i'm rambing).

heybigspender2006

Because if people are broke then Sky is a serious luxury. Freeview with the facility for topup TV if needed is my personal choice.

Broken_hearted

I think it may have been very badly put, but whoever posted it may have been trying to point out the fact blowing money makes you feel worse not better in the long run.
A lot of people come on here upset when they have blown money and post things like I need a kick up the bum. As the are feeling so bad about it.
Then there are others who can barely afford to feed their families because of crippling debt. What I'm trying to say is it takes all sorts to make this board and if a post/poster upsets you just ignor the post and move on.

lynzpower

Well I think the thing that winds people up about sky, is that is so unneccaesary. SOme people say they want to have more money, to pay debt off for example, and then carry on maintaining that they wont get rid of thier sky @ 50 quid a month. I think for many of us that can be frustrating, as it makes us think " does this person want advice or not" "do they want to be debt free or not" and it can feel as if we are wasting our time a bit.

In saying that I came here going " I wont get rid of XYZ" and then a few weeks in I did.

Surf_Widow

I've been reading threads on this forum since march and although I haven't posted asking for advice, I have found it invaluable and has helped me change my attitude to money. I've noticed that there is a core of regular posters who always offer good advice, usually based on experience and although they can be stern sometimes they always have your best intersts at heart.

I've also noticed that there are others who lurk, reading threads but not posting too often and it's usually these people, rather than the regulars, that offer the less helpful advice that can cause hurt feelings.

What I'm trying to say is keep on reading the threads and soon you'll get an idea of whose advice is worth listening to and who should be ignored.

Good luck