Walking home

Savvy_Sue

Note to all Faith's friends, NO THERMAL KNICKERS FOR CHRISTMAS even if that's the only thing on her list ...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Excuse me for popping in - Faith - honestly, how much help/service could you do hiding yourself away in fear and wanting to be shielded from everything, compared to the amount you could do as a confident, motivated, proactive woman with love in her heart for her Ultimate Employer?

My impression is that you remind me of a juvenile sparrow that is flapping up an down and squawking to be let back into the nest. Yes, it's scary and there are dangers out there (more if you count things like traipsing cross country - IMO all the way into a starring role in the lead story on the 9 o'clock news), but if a sparrow faces outwards to the world, flaps enough and doesn't give up, rather than getting back in the nest (or getting crunched up by the local cat in the attempt), they realise that they can fly. Then they can fulfill their promise, whatever the tiniest sparrow's purpose may be.

I think that you have been sent back out into the world because they can see you have a different, slightly longer route to take and share your gifts - your life, your faith, your love - before it is time for you to return. Not to use those gifts would be squandering them.

You are obviously meant to be out in the world at this time, not hiding away and rejecting it. You can't love a Creator fully whilst fearing their Creation. So, scary as it is (and how bad can it be compared to people 1500 years ago travelling thousands of miles to spread the word to people who didn't want to know, or people leaving Egypt in the hope of finding a promised land?), you're just going to have to trust in the will of your Boss and keep on going.

I'm not sure how to say this - if you were prepared to hand over your life in service, but only just so long as you don't have to deal with people or jobs or unpleasant relatives or anything else difficult - it sounds like a pretty half hearted offer to me.

I suspect that being able to say 'Right, I'm not sure about this, I don't like it and I'm really, really scared, but I'm going to trust in you and keep on going, and maybe I'll find out more of what you want from me in time', sounds like a much better prospect.



I'm sorry if I offend you, I'm not religious, but I am saying this with the best of intentions, and I hope that this Christmas finds you a little closer to making peace with yourself and the world.

faithcecilia

Ok, so I didn'y walk home, but I wish I had. I ahve contacted another convent but its not wjere I was or where I am want to be. I am so lonely/ But I will noy give up. I will be a nun again this time next year, somewhere...