Update and question about CAFCASS

speedster

maggied wrote: »

Blob - sounds like you've had a raw deal.

I'll post back after the hearing so let you all know how it goes - I think PWC must be plotting in some way due to the silence - it's really unnerving! When I first started seeing OH it wasn't unusual for him to pick up his phone and have 30-50 missed calls :eek:

When DSD was with us the other night she said "mummy has said I AM coming on Boxing Day now and I was all along" (after saying OH wouldnt be seeing her over Christmas and refusing to answer requests to have her on Boxing Day)....looks like she's going to be using the "what me? I've never said anything of the sort, I'm just a poor put upon single mum me".....God I wish I'd called the police on her now! Ah well, hindsight's wonderful.....

trust me, it gets easier as the kids get older.

my ex used to just do as she pleased and stop me seeing her at the drop of a hat. as duaghter got older, she saw for herself what was going on, but the ex was too stoooopid to realise and carried on.

daughter then picked up on it more and more. now, she is quite "vocal" when her mother tries thwarting our plans etc, etc.

now we're at the stage where we don't bother asking the ex about contact, daughter does it herself. it's always been easy for her to refuse us, but not so easy to refuse daughter.

the tables have turned and the clock is ticking. she'll be with us full time in the not so distant future.

LJ79

speedster wrote: »

trust me, it gets easier as the kids get older.

my ex used to just do as she pleased and stop me seeing her at the drop of a hat. as duaghter got older, she saw for herself what was going on, but the ex was too stoooopid to realise and carried on.

daughter then picked up on it more and more. now, she is quite "vocal" when her mother tries thwarting our plans etc, etc.

now we're at the stage where we don't bother asking the ex about contact, daughter does it herself. it's always been easy for her to refuse us, but not so easy to refuse daughter.

the tables have turned and the clock is ticking. she'll be with us full time in the not so distant future.

Hi Speedster,

Just wondering how old your daughter is?

Thanks,
LJ

speedster

hi LJ

she's 9 now.

was never really with her mother. more of a sperm donor.

i decided from the off that her mothers actions weren't the poor !!!!!!s fault, so i decided to be the best dad i could rather than legging it. my conscience wouldn't have let me for starters.

so, despite her spending years trying to drive me away it's paying off now, as i have my daughters respect. something her mother will NEVER have, so in a way, 9 yrs of sheite has been worth it.:T

maggied_2

Hi All

After hearing nothing from his X OH bumped into her at the supermarket the other day. She sent his DD over to ask if could change the date for the court case and then came over herself and said "why are you doing this to us before Christmas?" and said she needed him to change the court date (obviously he's told her that's not possible). There was a lot more rubbish but she also said she just wouldn't show up to court.

Where would this leave us? OH is speaking to solicitor later.

marksoton

maggied wrote: »

Hi All

After hearing nothing from his X OH bumped into her at the supermarket the other day. She sent his DD over to ask if could change the date for the court case and then came over herself and said "why are you doing this to us before Christmas?" and said she needed him to change the court date (obviously he's told her that's not possible). There was a lot more rubbish but she also said she just wouldn't show up to court.

Where would this leave us? OH is speaking to solicitor later.

What a despicable woman involving the child in such matters.

I'll tell you where it leaves you. In the driving seat from day one.

It's always said on these boards that NRP's should never put their heads in the sand regarding the CSA. Well the same applies when it comes to PWC's with court access issues.

I suspect your OH won't have to work too hard to get a favourable outcome in this case. His ex's pathetic attitude will do most of the legwork.

Just make sure your OH turns up at court and fulfills his obligations. Funnily enough judges don't like being ignored and not having people turn up. :D

speedster

result.

just turn up as planned. dispense with the services of the leech though! :rolleyes:

she's at the "realisation" stage now.

game on!! :beer:

maggied_2

Speedster - I know you think we shouldn't be using a solicitor but neither of us has the time nor the inclination to do this by ourselves. If it works out it'll be money well spent!

Anyway - latest development and what I really need your advice on now.

X has written to the solicitor saying she can't get the time off work and could he get in touch with a more 'sensible' date.

So OH has two options:

1. Turn up for the hearing and pay the court costs which he will then apply to the court to have met by the X. The court will then demand that she turns up for the next hearing.

2. Apply for another hearing. However she could obviously just do the same again.

What's the best thing to do? And by this I mean the one that's going to put OH in the best light AND resolve this quickly.

speedster

the solicitor should be writing her a stern letter informing her she is required to attend and stalling tactics are scorned on by the courts.

did he file a statement of service form too??

no point in applying again, just wait and see. trouble is, she'll know her stalling tactics are costing you money. everytime she writes to your solicitor, he'll charge you for responding.

you could end up wasting 20k on legal bills for something you could easily do yourself.

speedster

trouble is, family law solicitors can be more leech like than other sols.

they prey on fathers desperation to maintain relationships with their children and drag the cases out for years to line their fat wallets.

LIP is a doddle. you've just gotta know which buttons to press to wind the ex up and get them to show their true colours. :rolleyes:

maggied_2

speedster wrote: »

the solicitor should be writing her a stern letter informing her she is required to attend and stalling tactics are scorned on by the courts.

did he file a statement of service form too??

no point in applying again, just wait and see. trouble is, she'll know her stalling tactics are costing you money. everytime she writes to your solicitor, he'll charge you for responding.

you could end up wasting 20k on legal bills for something you could easily do yourself.

speedster wrote: »

trouble is, family law solicitors can be more leech like than other sols.

they prey on fathers desperation to maintain relationships with their children and drag the cases out for years to line their fat wallets.

LIP is a doddle. you've just gotta know which buttons to press to wind the ex up and get them to show their true colours. :rolleyes:

So do you think OH would be better off going to court and have them demand that she turns up for a second hearing?
What do you think the chances of her having to pay the costs would be?

And what's LIP? You seem to know a lot about this - can you point me in the direction of where I could find this info?