Update and question about CAFCASS

maggied_2

She doesn't have a solicitor so it will be her speaking. I think she will make a real show of herself. She doesn't seem to have an 'edit' button in her head if that makes sense - she so strongly believes in getting her point across that she doesn't care about the consequences - for instance mouthing off in front of her young children.

She really doesn't seem to realise what this is about and is obviously gearing herself up for the 'show' - like it's an opportunity to 'have her say'.....God knows what she thinks it will achieve.

OH is only applying for PR and to have the current access arrangement formalised so she can't keep threatening to withdraw it. Hopefully a judge will see that.

So will it be in a courtroom or just around a table?

Rikki

maggied wrote: »

She doesn't have a solicitor so it will be her speaking. I think she will make a real show of herself. She doesn't seem to have an 'edit' button in her head if that makes sense - she so strongly believes in getting her point across that she doesn't care about the consequences - for instance mouthing off in front of her young children.

She really doesn't seem to realise what this is about and is obviously gearing herself up for the 'show' - like it's an opportunity to 'have her say'.....God knows what she thinks it will achieve.

OH is only applying for PR and to have the current access arrangement formalised so she can't keep threatening to withdraw it. Hopefully a judge will see that.

So will it be in a courtroom or just around a table?

For me it was in a court room. We sat opposite my ex and his solicitor at a table. There were three magistrates sat on my right at their bench. There are private rooms for you to sit with your solicitor and talk prior and after court.

Blob

Just remember one thing and no matter what hang on to this point if nothing else, when she starts her bit, if she starts to slag you off and try to say it is for me to decide and all the usula claptrap that comes out in these situations, and I have heard many for many people that have come to me for help! The Court really is not interested in what you or your ex want, they are only intrested in the children and are bound by the Children's Act. Again you and your ex have no rights that count it is the rights of the children that count.

The Children have the right to have contact with both parents, that is stated in the law and is the starting point for the Court.

Good Luck, and keep calm on the day it will be alright.

maggied_2

Hello again all

Just thought I'd give you an update in case you're interested!

Court case was this morning. OH has basically got what he asked for. X seemed quite intimidated by the whole process but has agreed to his requests.

One thing she did do was pull out a letter that DSD had apparently written all by herself (and dated too - which is exactly what an 8 year old would do!) essentially slagging me off. Saying that she doesn't like it when I shout at her dad and slam doors and that I make her go to bed too early (as she stays up until all hours at her mum's) etc etc. Interestingly it was dated October but mentioned things that have happened (albeit twisted beyond recognition) within the last couple of weeks.

It doesn't sound like CAFCASS bought it anyway so it's pretty good news.

Such a relief! OH can now stop !!!!!footing around her and has actually stated (which CAFCASS supported) that he wanted no direct contact whatsoever with X and so everything is to go via her mother.

I'm damn sure this won't be the end of it but at least now when she starts acting up he can drag her nasty a*se back to court.

Thanks for everyone's help - it really has been invaluable.

C xxx

Blob

Well done hope that you dont have to go back, but as you have been there you have seen how it is done so go alone, it will save you a lot of money, and some!!!

space_rider

Pleased for you. I have a 9 year old and she is yet to date any letters she writes!

Hope that is the end of it for all your sakes.

maggied_2

Blob wrote: »

Well done hope that you dont have to go back, but as you have been there you have seen how it is done so go alone, it will save you a lot of money, and some!!!

Thanks and you're right we wouldn't use a solicitor again, purely from a financial perspective. However if this means that X stops using her DD to manipulate and emotionally blackmail OH and also stops her phoning, texting and showing up at the house then it would have been worth 10 times as much as we paid.

We'll just have to see what her reaction to all this is now she's lost her sole means of control :rotfl:

daska

My 13 yr old DSD wrote to her mum last year... no sign of a date LOL.

(Shame her mum didn't bother to read it as the tax payer is now footing her legal bill to fight for something her DD has told her repeatedly that she doesn't want and which her mother isn't fit to demand. We're going it alone this time because tbh it'll be a doddle - we envisage a simple timeline: turn up, request a hair strand test, wait for it to come back, get decision in our favour, sorted!)