Update and question about CAFCASS

maggied_2

This debate is great - giving me lots of food for thought!

OK - so what if OH does go on Wednesday on the premise that he wants a speedy resolution for the reasons listed. Keeps it very factual and emphasises he purely wants an agreement for access that isn't to change by his X. What then?

space_rider

Yes he did initate proceedings. As your other half as a solicitor he should really be instructing him as to what is best, that is assuming he has the childs interest at heart and not money for his company. If he doesn`t have the childs interest I would change solicitors. It is the norm for solicitors to be appointed so I wouldn`t worry about that. When I was in court I was bemused how the solicitors were all talking to each other on a personal level whilst the parents were all glaring at each other.

I personally don`t understand why mothers stop fathers from seeing children when the only reason is her own bitterness. I have 3 other children and when we split he had them 3 days and I had them 4. It was hard to be without them in the beginning, but what was most important to them was seeing their father on a regular basis. 12 years down the line they have a fantastic relationship with him.

maggied_2

space_rider wrote: »

Yes he did initate proceedings. As your other half as a solicitor he should really be instructing him as to what is best, that is assuming he has the childs interest at heart and not money for his company. If he doesn`t have the childs interest I would change solicitors. It is the norm for solicitors to be appointed so I wouldn`t worry about that. When I was in court I was bemused how the solicitors were all talking to each other on a personal level whilst the parents were all glaring at each other.

I personally don`t understand why mothers stop fathers from seeing children when the only reason is her own bitterness. I have 3 other children and when we split he had them 3 days and I had them 4. It was hard to be without them in the beginning, but what was most important to them was seeing their father on a regular basis. 12 years down the line they have a fantastic relationship with him.

Then I'm sorry for you spacerider - that really is too bad. I hope your daughter comes through it ok (although I also realise how glib that sounds...poor mite).

Solicitor has suggested it would be better to go to court on Wednesday as re-arranging would probably just result in X turning down any future dates leading to a more protracted process and ultimately being more expensive. I think he's probably right but am so unused to all this cr*p that I just wanted some other opinions.

Unfortunately the X is vile and more than likely unhinged. I think she believes her life needs to be like a soap opera as nothing can pass without the maximum drama. Telling OH in a crowded supermarket that she was going to fight him all the way at the top of her voice....in front of her children.....so grim.

I don't know what she thinks she's fighting him for - would she rather her daughter saw less of her father crackers....cheers for the reply xx

speedster

Solicitor has suggested it would be better to go to court on Wednesday as re-arranging would probably just result in X turning down any future dates leading to a more protracted process and ultimately being more expensive






that's worrying. especially as he's in posession of a letter in advance stating she is unable to attend.

totally pointless exercise if you ask me.

maggied_2

speedster wrote: »

Solicitor has suggested it would be better to go to court on Wednesday as re-arranging would probably just result in X turning down any future dates leading to a more protracted process and ultimately being more expensive

that's worrying. especially as he's in posession of a letter in advance stating she is unable to attend.

totally pointless exercise if you ask me.

I know exactly where you're coming from - but if he rearranges isn't she just free to keep saying she can't make it? At what point would she actually have to show up to court or could it go on infinitely. My God if this wasn't such an ar*e ache I'd laugh!!

speedster

not if the court set another date.

is she pizzes them off a few times, they'll just summons her. simple. which, in a way, is the way you want it to progress because she's showing her true colours from the start.

a recent case i was involved with the judge actually threatened to send the police round and have her cuffed and brought to him if she continued her stalling tactics.

LizzieS_2

maggied wrote: »

X has written to the solicitor saying she can't get the time off work and could he get in touch with a more 'sensible' date.

So OH has two options:

1. Turn up for the hearing and pay the court costs which he will then apply to the court to have met by the X. The court will then demand that she turns up for the next hearing.

2. Apply for another hearing. However she could obviously just do the same again.

What's the best thing to do? And by this I mean the one that's going to put OH in the best light AND resolve this quickly.

Both you OH and his ex have been instructed to attend court by the judge.

His ex should not be writing to OHs solicitor - she should be making her excuses to the court who would then decide themselves whether to hold the hearing.

As your OH is serious about gaining PR and contact order, he should be attending (it doesn't matter what she does).

If she cannot attend - there is no reason why she cannot just agree the arrangements requested, or at least put a different offer on the table.

maggied_2

speedster wrote: »

not if the court set another date.

is she pizzes them off a few times, they'll just summons her. simple. which, in a way, is the way you want it to progress because she's showing her true colours from the start.

a recent case i was involved with the judge actually threatened to send the police round and have her cuffed and brought to him if she continued her stalling tactics.

LizzieS wrote: »

Both you OH and his ex have been instructed to attend court by the judge.

His ex should not be writing to OHs solicitor - she should be making her excuses to the court who would then decide themselves whether to hold the hearing.

As your OH is serious about gaining PR and contact order, he should be attending (it doesn't matter what she does).

If she cannot attend - there is no reason why she cannot just agree the arrangements requested, or at least put a different offer on the table.

OK now I'm confused

Speedster - so she has every right not to turn up 'a few times'. Sol has said that if she declines once (this may be particular to the court we're going through) they will summons her and she will be obliged to attend the next hearing whether she thinks it's 'sensible' or not.

Lizzie - you think he should attend even though she's said in writing that she won't be there? Could you tell me why (we need to decide before tomorrow morning!!)

C x

LizzieS_2

maggied wrote: »

OK now I'm confused

Speedster - so she has every right not to turn up 'a few times'. Sol has said that if she declines once (this may be particular to the court we're going through) they will summons her and she will be obliged to attend the next hearing whether she thinks it's 'sensible' or not.

Lizzie - you think he should attend even though she's said in writing that she won't be there? Could you tell me why (we need to decide before tomorrow morning!!)

C x

You need a very good reason to fail attending court.

She has had the relevant notice - plenty of time to make arrangements with her employer. BTW employers are below the court

He should attend and ask for a penal notice attached (surprised speedster did not suggest that). The penal notice will give a very clear message to both her and her employer - if she fails to attend the next date set by the court, she can be arrested and detained until a later hearing.

The letter may help reduce the wrath of the judge when he/she finally sees her (better than just not showing up), but it should also contain her acceptances or objections to OHs request - solicitor will make sure judge is aware of her lack of progressing the case even in letter form!

Your OH is there for himself and what he wants - he needs to show he is desperate to progress, rather than giving in to any excuse.

maggied_2

Thanks Lizzie - I think we'll go with that option then. I was surprised she could just say she couldn't make it - she works in the NHS so again would be surprised if they had refused a request for time off.

Wil let you know how it goes!