Update and question about CAFCASS

speedster

maggied wrote: »

All good points! I'll talk to him and see how he'd feel about it. I don't know whether the solicitor went through the pros and cons of each scenario with him.

She really is the ultimate nightmare woman - if I ever have a son I'll be using her as an example of a woman to give a wide berth to :rotfl:

you seriously need to get shot of that money grabbing leach. he's she1te.

he should be advising your OH to pray she turns up and gives it attitude, rather than going along with separate hearings.

if you're gonna waste your money on solicitors at least get one with some balls. :eek:

maggied_2

OK - looks like I may have got it wrong!

The hearing will be joint, OH will be speaking to CAFCASS on his own - does that sound more like it now?

speedster

aye.

sounds better!

he'll need to work out what buttons to press to get her to blow. the trick is to do it VERY subtly

maggied_2

We just got a letter for the court date and CAFCASS hearing (which will just before court hearing) - says on there sol will be in touch to discuss their strategy and he won't be in on the CAFCASS section.

Sounds a bit more promising. Fingers crosed it will go well. I know OH will be able to keep his cool....have given up trying to second guess her!!

What will happen in the CAFCASS section? It says in the letter they're trying to see if they can come to an amicable agreement to prevent further court action (or words to that effect). Any hints? Or is it just aboit OH coming across as wanting to do the best by his daughter and hoping for the best?

C x

speedster

maggied wrote: »

We just got a letter for the court date and CAFCASS hearing (which will just before court hearing) - says on there sol will be in touch to discuss their strategy and he won't be in on the CAFCASS section.

Sounds a bit more promising. Fingers crosed it will go well. I know OH will be able to keep his cool....have given up trying to second guess her!!

What will happen in the CAFCASS section? It says in the letter they're trying to see if they can come to an amicable agreement to prevent further court action (or words to that effect). Any hints? Or is it just aboit OH coming across as wanting to do the best by his daughter and hoping for the best?

C x

nah. go ahead with court. all he has to say is it's pointless avoiding court as she has proven her stance and has ownership issues over the child and he wants it all official and legal to safeguard his relationship with the child.

court orders tend to kick posessive parents into line. not always though.

hamilet

maggied, I know you have already said you will not be present on the day, but if you are, DO NOT let the CAFCASS representative persuade you into being the ‘go between’ with your OH and the PWC as a mediator. I went there, all naive, worse thing I ever did.

I wish you all the best for a satisfactory outcome in your situation.

maggied_2

hamilet wrote: »

maggied, I know you have already said you will not be present on the day, but if you are, DO NOT let the CAFCASS representative persuade you into being the ‘go between’ with your OH and the PWC as a mediator. I went there, all naive, worse thing I ever did.

I wish you all the best for a satisfactory outcome in your situation.

Oh God that's horrendous!!

I don't think that's a position I would put myself in. In short PWC is still madly (with the emphasis firmly on mad) in love with my OH (we've been together 4 years) and blames me for pretty much everything...ever. So it's safe to say we don't see eye to eye and I don't think I'd allow myself in an enclosed space with her without the back up of a reasonably powered cattle prod.

I will be staying away!

Poor you though, that sounds awful:eek:

Have had the info pack through from CAFCASS today, so presumably so has PWC - still complete silence from her and her family. Thoroughly enjoyable but a bit weird!

Blob

CAFCASS are supposed ansrable to the Court, the Judge fired the one that I ha and a new one took over but she was not much better and failed to win the confidence of the children!!! Please can someone tell me in these situations what good thy do???

The first bod that was involved did not take the situation seriously, and that is why the Judge lost it with him!!!!?

The second did not listen and said that if there were probs in the future, she would sort it. Wrong opn all counts!!!!!!!

maggied_2

Blob wrote: »

CAFCASS are supposed ansrable to the Court, the Judge fired the one that I ha and a new one took over but she was not much better and failed to win the confidence of the children!!! Please can someone tell me in these situations what good thy do???

The first bod that was involved did not take the situation seriously, and that is why the Judge lost it with him!!!!?

The second did not listen and said that if there were probs in the future, she would sort it. Wrong opn all counts!!!!!!!

Blob - sounds like you've had a raw deal.

I'll post back after the hearing so let you all know how it goes - I think PWC must be plotting in some way due to the silence - it's really unnerving! When I first started seeing OH it wasn't unusual for him to pick up his phone and have 30-50 missed calls :eek:

When DSD was with us the other night she said "mummy has said I AM coming on Boxing Day now and I was all along" (after saying OH wouldnt be seeing her over Christmas and refusing to answer requests to have her on Boxing Day)....looks like she's going to be using the "what me? I've never said anything of the sort, I'm just a poor put upon single mum me".....God I wish I'd called the police on her now! Ah well, hindsight's wonderful.....

Blob

Trust me on this point if she has done it the once she will do it again, your time will come.

She will prob try to tell the Judge what to do if that happens just sit back and watch the show, she will be left in no doubt by the end of it. My ex did a wounderful job even if I say so myself, she nearly convinced eceryone that I was the bad guy. The Judge did his bit and let it run, he reinstated contact and told her that this is what will happen. She held it togeather for a while then it got to her and she did her own thing and tried to tell the Court what it should do, and blew it big time, both her and her current husband got it in the kneck from the Judge, and he gave me everthing I had asked for and more! Hell of a batle but worth it in the end.

Hang in there kid the kids are worth it.