How important is....

MrsTinks

I'd call 2 years fairly continous
And no not everyone needs sex in their life - however the OP is concerned enough about it to post on a forum about it... that to me means this isn't a mutually acceptable thing. If both partners aren't fussed then fair enough - but then one of them wouldn't have posted on here would they?

henryg_2

I agree- if your desires are of equal proportion practically all of the time then it seems to be a fair thing for both of you. The problem starts when one of you is feeling deprived or like they're lacking love from the relationship.
Hopefully if this happens and you are the one one feels like sex is lacking then you will be able to come to a better understanding of the underlying cause.. and resolve to adjust things between you to make both of you happy. I hope your wedding day and afterwards goes fabulously! All the best

windswept

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

What if you couldn't have sex? Would you have an affair then? Or let your husband?
Sex isn't needed in a relationship but intimacy is. You can get intimacy from lots of things, sex is just one of them.
The op's husband isn't continually rejecting her and it wouldn't really matter if he did if they had got married knowing that sex wasn't going to be often.
Many woman contemplate affairs not because they want lots of sex but because they are bored of the sex they are getting. The spark has gone, the butterflies don't flutter by anymore and they are generally fed up but they justify it by telling everyone that their husband is usless/lazy/uncaring/unhelpful etc

There are plenty of ways of having sexual intimacy, it would have to be a pretty extreme medical problem not to be able to have any at all but in the unlikely event of my husband becoming totally paralysed then I wouldn't have an affair, no, I've been with him for 27 years and we are each others' only sexual partners, always have been and always will be.

I'd say that sex is absolutely needed in a marriage/relationship, otherwise it's just a friendship , sex and intimacy go hand in hand and I hope we're still having sex when we are 80 years old.

You can't have true intimacy without the sexual connection imho - I feel very sorry for people who believe otherwise, they obviously have no idea what they are missing out on.

I'm not talking about being unable to have sex, I'm talking about one partner being unwilling to ( in the long term) when there are no health issues etc.

I think the OP is looking at a grim future if she settles for a man who doesn't want her, especially after only 4 years - the day my husband won't touch me is the day my marriage would be over.