Nice people thread

SingleSue

Thanks for all the comments people.....I suppose I just took stock last night and didn't like what the conclusion was, especially bearing in mind how my career was in my early twenties and comparing it to now.

It's pretty normal for me to crash like this after a crisis, I just crashed slightly harder this time as everything seems like 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I know in essence that what I do is worthwhile for my children but it still seems such a waste of a life (I was never the maternal type and never wanted to be the stop at home housewife), I've got a brain and I want to use it, not spend my time being a glorified nurse, teacher, cook and cleaner alongside being both mum and dad.

At least when I was working (even part time evenings), I had a challenge for my brain, a different persona, different walls to look at, a social life (albeit restricted), adult interaction and a means of escape even for just 4 or 5 hours a day from the drudge of being a carer..now that option has gone, the realisation that I am just not able to go back to work because of the demands of the boys has really hit me rather hard, that little bit of hope of having a semblance of normal life, of being able to actually earn my own money and stand a little better on my own two feet, gave me that little bit of oomph to carry on.

I'm stressed over study, middle son being in hospital and his recuperation has put me behind, the multitude of appointments and school meetings only compounding the problem and then there is this little voice asking "Is it really worth carrying on with it?" when I may never be free of the caring role to actually do anything with the qualification.

We also discovered that we probably won't be having a holiday this year, the people we were going to borrow the caravan off for a minimal charge have found that the site have put restrictions on them and it just isn't financially viable for them....both me and the boys rely on getting away for a change of scene and a break from the day to day stresses - swimming everyday, sitting on the beach, relaxing and most importantly...no appointments! There is no way I can afford to book from the site and even private hire is way way way out of my budget and because we found out too late, all the bargain private hires have already been booked up.

I'm just bloody tired and peed off.....

treliac

Sue, go to your GP, Suffolk carers group or Social Services and ask for a 'carers break grant.' The funding is available and you are entitled to a slice of it.

wageslave

Sue, how much could you do one of those cheap holidays in the Sun newspaper for?

Get out an envelope (my favourite accounting tool) and work out how much it would cost you. Travel, food, the whole nine yards.

Do you have an ebay account?

I have loads of stuff I am too lazy to sell. I am willing to bet others on here have too.

If we (and by we, I mean me at the moment) sent you pics and descriptions of our stuff for you to list and sell. You could email us the addresses to post them off too.

You'd be doing me a favour. I have far,far too much junk.

Think about it, please

wageslave

You'd need money for listing fees. That's easy.

For my stuff you just let me know and I would transfer it into to your paypal account. When you had the cash for the sale in your hot little hand you could put the listing fees and the postage into my paypal.

Cost to me... sod all.

Off the top of my head I have a DVD recorder with built in hard drive, an Itrip and, I think, an Epsom printer with extra ink, all unopened (don't ask it's a long story).

That has to be good for 50 quid.

And that's before I even start looking.

lostinrates

I'd be worried that people might let sue down, having pledged stuff, not sending it, and this could impact on her...in some way (I don't do ebay so don'tknow...)

treliac

lostinrates wrote: »

I'd be worried that people might let sue down, having pledged stuff, not sending it, and this could impact on her...in some way (I don't do ebay so don'tknow...)

No, me neither but it's generous of wageslave.

carolt

treliac's idea seemed a good one, and I daresay there must be people on here with a holiday cottage/caravan etc that could lend it out. Or you know we'd all chip in and buy you a holiday, don't you.

But you'd hate that.

I do so know where you're coming from - although in my case I viewed it as more temporary, being a full- or near full-time carer is very draining and if you're intelligent, very frustrating, as a life spent cleaning and watching daytime telly is not where you wish to be.

How much do you expect your 3 to be independent when older? How much help do you think you can access and how many hours can you fit in to do something more intellectually challenging within your current schedule? Or could you look at one day going back to a job that paid you enough to afford to pay for carers to help you out?

Lots of questions, lots of possibilities - although I know that when you're inside it, it doesn't feel that way.

PS You're more than welcome to borrow our tent - claims to sleep up to 8 - dunno, but we've used it for 5. We'll even drive it down to you - don't think you're a million miles away, we can have a day trip. We'll even throw in the portaloo.

wageslave

lostinrates wrote: »

I'd be worried that people might let sue down, having pledged stuff, not sending it, and this could impact on her...in some way (I don't do ebay so don'tknow...)

That's a really good point.

We could post the stuff out to Sue for her to ebay. I'd be absolutely fine with that.

Whatever Sue is comfortable with.

Or we just thank Mr B very much for his offer and "forget" to list his stuff.

We could just create an ebay account but we would need to link the account to paypal.

I'd be fine about using my paypal account or someone elses. We are talking about a summer holiday here, we have loads of time. I think they have 30 days or summit to reclaim their cash through paypal. We just let the money lie until everything is ok.

The logistics can be easily worked out.

It might just be easier to send the stuff directly to Sue.

Whatever she is most comfortable with is OK by me.

StevieJ

treliac wrote: »

Problem is that Gordy is still dithering over a date. He's started his campaign but hasn't stated the end point! Coward.

I thought it was May 6th same as council ? that date has been mentioned twice now.

carolt

Sorry if we're taking liberties, Sue.

I know I couldn't do without my summer hol.