anyone not drive?

MrsE_2

BallandChain wrote: »

I drive but my OH doesn't and he's male. People seem to raise their eyebrows as they have this look that he must have had his driving license taken off him, but the truth is he took a few driving lessons and hated it.

My point exactly:D

If he was the driver & not you, would they raise their eyebrows at that;)

BallandChain

I don't know if it's a generation thing MrsE but it always seemed to be acceptable if a guy could drive and the female didn't.

MrsE_2

BallandChain wrote: »

I don't know if it's a generation thing MrsE but it always seemed to be acceptable if a guy could drive and the female didn't.

Thats exactly what I'm challenging, that old fashioned stereo type that still exists judging by the ration of non driving females to males on this thread;)

GrammarGirl

I can't imagine not being able to drive. I passed at 17 and have always driven ever since. I drive 80 miles a day, mostly motorway, and it's improved my skills immensely. I'm much more confident and actually really enjoy driving.

I think being able to drive opens so many doors. I definitely wouldn't have have got my job if I didn't drive.

anguk

MrsE wrote: »

Thats exactly what I'm challenging, that old fashioned stereo type that still exists judging by the ration of non driving females to males on this thread;)

Maybe it has something to do with the way children are still raised? Little boys are given cars to play with and it's almost expected that as soon as they're old enough they'll learn to drive.

But it's not just driving is it? I'd guess in the majority of households women do the majority of the housework/cooking, even when both work full time. Most stay at home parents are female, there's more female nurses & secretaries than males, there's more male plumbers & electricians than females. Take your husbands profession, I'd guess there's more male cabbies than females.

Things are improving regarding equality but I think it's going to be a long, long time before the sexes are truly equal. I certainly can't see it happening in my lifetime.

My niece drives and her husband doesn't (both in their 20's), he's never bothered to learn because he's never needed to, if they both could drive and they only had one car my niece would still be the one driving. She needs it to ferry the kids around, shopping etc and he gets a lift off a workmate each day.

My best friend drives but her husband doesn't, both in their 40's, if they both drove but only had 1 car my friend would still be the one who uses it because she always gets her own way! She'd make her husband get the bus!

PrincessPlaty

MrsE wrote: »

Why are buses considered "good enough" for women, but in a relationship the man has to learn to drive, pass his test & run a car.

The man doesnt have to learn to drive, pass his test and run a car, it is his choice whether he wishes to do that or use public transport. The same as that is a womans choice. I cant see how being in a relationship has anything to do with it.

I can actually think of 5 couples off the top of my head where the driver in the relationship is the female and the male cant drive. On the other hand i can think of 2 couples where the man drives and the woman doesnt.

I honestly cant see couples sitting round the dinner table debating who should learn to drive in the relationship and why :rotfl::rotfl:

oh and fwiw i dont and wont use buses neither But that comes from a phobia of being too close to others :eek: im not sure which terrifies me or more getting in a car and driving (which i have done) or getting on a jam packed bus where you cant move full of people that might have bo or may not have washed for a month :eek::eek::eek::eek:
I cant believe i have just admitted that i have never told anyone that fear

Give me a train anyday, out of rush hours so that i can sit away from people and not have my own personal space invaded :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Curious_George_2

I dont drive, i took lessons when i was 18 (oh my god that was 14 years ago!!! ugh)
i liked it at first but it slowly dawned on me that i was the only person who had ever read the highway code... it seemed like everyone else just did what they wanted and to be honest it frightened me,

I stalled in the middle of a VERY busy roundabout, i ran over a seagull (the instructor kept telling me it would move before i got there... it will fly way dont worry....BUMP) and countless people cut me up, I also seemed to come across an alarming amount of suicidal pedestrians who dont think twice about crossing roads without loooking properly... it was just too much for me!
I also hated that you could sail along for ages not doing anything but steering but then all of a sudden you have to do everything at once.

frankly you are all safer without me on the road! My OH is 40 and only passed his test about 6 or 7 years ago, while hes at work i dont need to go anywhere i cant walk too, ive been a pedestrian all my life... im quite good at it

Susan_Frost

If Auntie does not want to learn, then she should not have to, she is managing ok without. It is not fair to be stressed. If hubby eventually cannot drive, they can get shopping delivered and will just have to get the bus/train and take longer to get places. But if he cannot drive, he possibly cannot do a lot of other things either (unless banned) so they may not need to get around so much.

My mum has just given up driving at 83 and hates it. But she has a heart condition. She misses the convenience of just popping to the shops, which are half an hours walk away, or 2 buses because of the routes, and then it is the carrying of things. The very few things she does now are all local. We are trying to persuade her to get taxis (£3 to the doctor) but she does it grudgingly, but what she saves in buying and running a car easily covers these costs. The family get shopping for her, or take her to the supermarket, prescriptions are delivered weekly, and even when she had a car we picked her up for family gatherings cos she did not like to drive too far.

But for younger or more energetic/able bodied who want to go further afield it would be very costly.

I think if someone has never driven they would probably not miss it as much as someone who has and then cannot for some reason.

The man / woman debate has too many ifs and buts.

Each individual needs to work around their own circumstances. If people learn to drive reasonably young, then it seems to work ok, but the difficulties seem to come when they have mortgages and kids and other expenses. It can then be very difficult to find the money for something which costs a lot, and the cost is not fixed because it depends on how easily you learn and get through.

I guess then you get the "who learns first" (or do both learn?) debate, how many cars, what is most beneficial to the family. When starting from scratch it may be only affordable for one person and one car.

And I think this is where Mrs. E is coming in - as often in these circumstances it possibly is the man who does it first. BUT NOT ALWAYS. Each couple has to do it their way.

I do know couples where only the woman drives, but mostly where only one drives it is the man. However, the women I know do not want to or feel there is no need. I have known in the distant past couples where the man "would not let his wife learn" (including my ex !!!) but that is a relationship problem.

Tish_P

MrsE, I half agree. We are all brought up to believe Cars Are For Men, even today (anyone who doesn't agree should look at any toyshop, count the car ads in mens' vs womens' magazines, or compare the numbers of razor vs. tampon ads in motoring magazines). That's sexist nonsense, and I agree that it probably does contribute to the fact that the non-drivers in this thread are mostly women, and that women in general are more likely to be happy getting about by bus or on foot than men are.

BUT - the other message we get from advertisers is that cars equal independence and freedom, and a life without a car is a life half lived! And that's nonsense too. Several women on this thread have explained that they're happier, richer and healthier because they don't keep a car. Looking at money alone, reasonable estimates for the running cost of even a small car are well over £2000 a year (fuel, tax, insurance, repairs, depreciation) - for many of us, investing that money will do much more for our freedom and independence in the long run.

This might be one of those (rare, imo) cases where sexism works in women's favour: we don't get the aggressive marketing, fewer people will think we're weird for not driving, and so we're less likely to spend money we don't have on cars we don't need. We win!

mum26

morocha wrote: »

I live in a rural area and i do need to drive... my oh or mil take me and my dd everywhere... i know i need to learn... but i am really scared. I used to live in a big city where never needed to learn to drive, now at 25 i just dont think i can cope with learning to drive... it is really scares me.

I was 30 when I passed my test :T Actually if you are a bit nervous of it I think it helps to be that little bit older as you instinctively look out for pedestrians etc, the driving test is all about safety, they really want to know you have your eyes open and wits about you and the sensible attitude to think forwards a little bit, not so much perfect parking etc, just good safe control of the car, not boy racerish and not too snail like