relationship split what to do?

Kimitatsu

bestpud wrote: »

People can do part time courses while on JSA if they agree to give up the course if a job comes up and clashes with the course.

I can't see he needs to say he is committed to looking after the children forever!

It is perfectly feasible to be looking after his children while he is job seeking and his ex partner working!

How on earth can that be a problem if it is on the understanding the pwc will sort alternative childcare if he finds a job?

But the OP cannot afford childcare if he has to work full time

The rules to claim JSA are:


Who can get Jobseeker's Allowance?


To get Jobseeker's Allowance you must be:

• available for and actively seeking work
• between 18 and State Pension age
• working less than 16 hours per week on average

He should also be available to take up work within 48 hours unless he is a lone parent which waivers then apply. It is not as easy as saying he can do the childcare until he finds a job - what if he does and it starts within a week. The OP would find it difficult to provide suitable childcare in that time.

Full legislation here:

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si1996/Uksi_19960207_en_3.htm#mdiv5

bestpud

Kimitatsu wrote: »

But the OP cannot afford childcare if he has to work full time

The rules to claim JSA are:


Who can get Jobseeker's Allowance?


To get Jobseeker's Allowance you must be:

• available for and actively seeking work
• between 18 and State Pension age
• working less than 16 hours per week on average

He should also be available to take up work within 48 hours unless he is a lone parent which waivers then apply. It is not as easy as saying he can do the childcare until he finds a job - what if he does and it starts within a week. The OP would find it difficult to provide suitable childcare in that time.

Full legislation here:

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si1996/Uksi_19960207_en_3.htm#mdiv5

I realise that, but if she has to give up work in a few months/years(?) then she has had a little more time working and more time for the children to grow up a bit.

Heck, maybe even enough time for her to get her feet under the table in this job and be able to work more hours and/or afford childcare.

Maybe she can find a different job in that time...?

Do you see what I am saying? Perhaps I'm not explaining myself well...?

I'm not suggesting she can rely on her ex being able to look after them forever and a day, but he can right now so it seems daft to me that she would give up work at this stage.

It's not that he is signing on just so he can have the children because he will have to sign on anyway. It just seems daft beyond belief to have the two of them sat at home when the OP is actually better off working as long as he can look after the children.

It is not a crisis at the moment and it may never be!

She may as well benefit from the extra income for as long as she can.

It is that easy!

plok

CAZScoob,

No matter how much others want to advise you against it, your ex can get Income Support if you relinquish or share the Child Benefit. There are some posters here who only see separation as a fight to the death against the other party and that is why you are being advised to give up work and go on benefits. They simply don't want to see your ex getting any of the Child Benefit - they see it as a women only benefit.

If you want to work - even for 3 days a week, and want your kids cared for by a parent rather than a host of different child minders, then get the Child Benefit sorted. Your ex cannot claim Income Support without it. The two days that you don't work he can go out and get a part-time job. The really good thing about this way of sorting things is that your children benefit.

Ames

If either parent gets IS then they will chase the other for maintenance through the CSA.

Kimitatsu

Ames wrote: »

If either parent gets IS then they will chase the other for maintenance through the CSA.

They dont have to they can come to a private arrangement and the CSA will not make an automatic claim since October this year.

Kimitatsu

bestpud wrote: »

I realise that, but if she has to give up work in a few months/years(?) then she has had a little more time working and more time for the children to grow up a bit.

Heck, maybe even enough time for her to get her feet under the table in this job and be able to work more hours and/or afford childcare.

Maybe she can find a different job in that time...?

Do you see what I am saying? Perhaps I'm not explaining myself well...?

I'm not suggesting she can rely on her ex being able to look after them forever and a day, but he can right now so it seems daft to me that she would give up work at this stage.

It's not that he is signing on just so he can have the children because he will have to sign on anyway. It just seems daft beyond belief to have the two of them sat at home when the OP is actually better off working as long as he can look after the children.

It is not a crisis at the moment and it may never be!

She may as well benefit from the extra income for as long as she can.

It is that easy!

Bestpud

See where you are coming from now

I do take your point - the issue that I was trying to make (and badly I think - its been a long day!) was that if he DOES get a job or a course or a work trial and has to start work at short notice it could potentially leave her in the lurch with childcare in mind.

But as you say, OP doesnt want to give up work so he may as well sign on for JSA for now whilst they sort something else out.

Plok - CB is not a women only benefit!! BUT as the OP has said as a lone parent she will be £50 a week (£200 a month) better off on benefits. I fail to see how her children benefit from being down that amount of money every month Its certainly not about having a go at the non resident parent (as he now is) its about giving the OP the options available to her. If she chooses to go down the CB route then thats up to her, I just think she should take advice from a specialist before she does which neither you nor I are in this area.

bestpud

plok wrote: »

CAZScoob,

No matter how much others want to advise you against it, your ex can get Income Support if you relinquish or share the Child Benefit. There are some posters here who only see separation as a fight to the death against the other party and that is why you are being advised to give up work and go on benefits. They simply don't want to see your ex getting any of the Child Benefit - they see it as a women only benefit.

If you want to work - even for 3 days a week, and want your kids cared for by a parent rather than a host of different child minders, then get the Child Benefit sorted. Your ex cannot claim Income Support without it. The two days that you don't work he can go out and get a part-time job. The really good thing about this way of sorting things is that your children benefit.

I certainly don't see it as a woman only benefit and I think it is good for the OP to have all the options before her.

Buut, she has read your idea and replied to say it is not for her.

That's fine - it is her life after all!

Why are you struggling to accept that decision?

plok

Must have missed a post then. Didn't see that comment from the OP.

bestpud

plok wrote: »

Must have missed a post then. Didn't see that comment from the OP.

Ok, as I see it, child benefit is paid to the main carer - in this case the partner cannot be the main carer when he only has them three days a week.

The only way to legitimately way for him to claim some of the child benefit is for them to share custody and he take the main responsibility and/or share the children, so she take some and he take at least one of them.

The OP has stated they cannot stay in the same house, as it is not working, so that rules out them putting in two single claims and sharing the children but them all staying together. That is assuming they could get away with that anyway.

cazscoob wrote: »

we have tried to live with each other over the past 2 weeks but TBH it has made things 100 times worse. thanks for all the advise i think ill take a trip to CAB and get them to make sure my numbers are correct.

The other option you put to her was for her to move out, but again, she has said her OH would not cope with the children (and possibly she doesn't wish to give up her children - I know I wouldn't, but the OP has not actually said that part, granted!)

cazscoob wrote: »

thanks for all this there is more to the story lol!! he is willing to look after the kids whilst i work but TBH he couldnt do it 24 7.

i managed to get a PT job on minimum wage and cannot do any more hours due to ex being unable to look after 5 kids, cook and clean.

Sooo, the last resort is to pretend the OH is the PWC for at least one child so he can claim IS and have them all three days a week but not actually care for any of them full time. You surely aren't suggesting that, are you?

What makes you think the options you suggest have not been read and dismissed by the OP?

I'm not saying I disagree with your solutions btw - I'm just saying they are not suitable for the OP, for various reasons and that is fair enough imo.

marshmallows

he has them 3 days of the week so 42% of the year, there are 5 kids, let him claim the child benefit for 2 of them and that way he can get financial help so can the op for the other 3 kids