relationship split what to do?

cazscoob

dont get any extra benefits at my work, have been lucky to get 3 regular days at the moment as week by week the days change. i havent been there long so dont want to push things any more.

there are no jobs in this area and his only option right now is college to retrain but the courses dont start until next year. the main reason for separation is due to him loosing his job, being depressed and every job he applies for he is rejected or over qualified. If he continued to look after the children then it would make my life easier and i could continue to work. i only get minimum wage so cant even help to support him?

Kimitatsu

plok wrote: »

The answer here is for your ex-husband to claim the Child Benefit for each of the children which will allow him to claim income support. That way you work and get your salary and he child-minds and gets income support.

The OP needs to protect herself as well though because if the husband claims CB and then decides to go for full custody of the children it could cause her issues.

dmg it is not the OP's fault that the system fails those who have large families. In many cases such as this the parent is better off on benefits than they are working, that is not the choice of the parent but it is what is best for their family.

plok

...or let your ex claim the child benefit - that is the simplest way and doesn't involve making someone homeless and ensures the children stay with both parents.

csh_2

plok wrote: »

...or let your ex claim the child benefit - that is the simplest way and doesn't involve making someone homeless and ensures the children stay with both parents.

Could you live indefinately with an ex-partner? I'm not sure long term that would be a healthy environment for anyone TBH.

Oldernotwiser

tiamai_d wrote: »

The system doesn't help those who work minimum wage jobs and have children. Caz, your OH would be better off leaving the house and going to live elsewhere, it's the only way you will work out better off working.

Was there any suggestion that he was going to carry on living in the marital home or did I miss it?

cazscoob

we have tried to live with each other over the past 2 weeks but TBH it has made things 100 times worse. thanks for all the advise i think ill take a trip to CAB and get them to make sure my numbers are correct.

DX2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Was there any suggestion that he was going to carry on living in the marital home or did I miss it?

families board, he won't leave.

speedster

Kimitatsu wrote: »

The OP needs to protect herself as well though because if the husband claims CB and then decides to go for full custody of the children it could cause her issues.

dmg it is not the OP's fault that the system fails those who have large families. In many cases such as this the parent is better off on benefits than they are working, that is not the choice of the parent but it is what is best for their family.

residence is never awarded either way if there is good contact or no safety issues.

splitting the CB betwwen parents is a good solution and can cancel out either of the parents getting spiteful and going to the csa.

kind of a "status quo" (but without the carp guitar rips :rolleyes:)

plok

Cazscoob, if it's not working out together and you have paid employment it may be best for you to move out. Let the dad care for the kids as he has been doing and let him claim the CB. This way the kids don't get uprooted, stay together and have one of their parents looking after to them. Despite what other posters tell you about the CB, it needs to go to the parent who actually does the caring so that the kids can benefit from it- don't get carried away with thoughts of custody/residence right now. As you pointed out - you don't want to give up your job and your ex is happy looking after the children - JOB DONE!

plok

...and as Speedster says, you can split the CB if that worries you. Split CB will still allow the Dad to cliam IS.