Son's housekeeping money!

barklyboy

kr15snw wrote: »

What does he get for the £350? Does he do housework / cook himself meals? Or do you buy everything for him including toiletries etc? And do all the housework.

This makes a HUGE difference!

I buy most things and do the housework. He buys his shampoo because he won't use mine but has free range of the toothpaste, shaving foam and toilet rolls!

kr15snw

Yep Id say its a fair deal then.

He's not only paying for rent, but also food, cosmetics and everything else. Plus there's your time for doing his housework, probably his washing and cooking as well.

Bennifred

Just for comparison: my 19 yr old student son pays £350 per month in rent for a room in a shared house - then a fifth of all bills (gas, electric, water, internet, food) on top. This is out of the student loan and what he earns in his part time job..........

tiamaria

I have 2 children living at home, 1 is hardly ever here, spends most of his time at GF's or work or out with mates, only around long enough to maybe have 3-4 meals a month. The other is at full time college, he works weekends and has EMA. They both pay me £20 per week.

tescodave

He needs to wake up and smell the coffee. You're not helping him by letting him get away with it. Personally I'd throw him out and tell him good luck in finding a house for the same amount of money.

Ask yourself this: If he was renting a flat/house, do you think the landlord would be ok if he said, 'Can't pay you rent for a few months, I'm getting out of debt...' ?

You can either deal with the monster of your own creation, or suck it up.

aliadds

I feel that part of our role as parents, is to make our children aware that everything worthwhile has to be worked and paid for.
I was the oldest of 5 children, and had been brought up to do chores to help my parents...who both worked! My ex, on the other hand, had been waited on hand and foot, along with his siblings, and when we got married it was a shock to the system for him. I remember our first meals, and he would just get out his own cutlery.:eek: Needless to say this soon changed, especially when DS1 came along.
I went back to work when DS2 was 2, and therefore from an early age the boys did chores, ie putting away toys, putting dishes in dw, putting clean washing in rooms, putting out rubbish, doing recycling etc.And later, as they got older, vaccuming, changing their beds, and cleaning the bathroom
When each of them went to work they paid a proportion of their wage for lodge. They would both agree that this has given them a good grounding in the cost of living, and whats involved in running a home.
And won't they make wonderful husbands for somone!:j

Dave101t

id take the money off him in cash on the 1st of every month and he should expect his bags by the door on the 2nd in no payment..
you want to instill discipline dont you? or want to be the 'last person paid, if he can afford it'?

tescodave

Dave101t wrote: »

id take the money off him in cash on the 1st of every month and he should expect his bags by the door on the 2nd in no payment..
you want to instill discipline dont you? or want to be the 'last person paid, if he can afford it'?

As I pretty much already said in my previous post, I agree with this approach. He's treating you like a mug.

Silverbird

From the moment I got a full-time job up until I left home I was paying £140 a month, which I felt was reasonable (especially as I wasn't home half of the time and often stayed with my then-boyfriend). I was taking home around £800 if I remember rightly.

It's out of order that he's cancelled the DD because he doesn't agree with it. As hard as it is ... I think you need to show him the door if he doesn't pay up. Explain the mortgage and the amount you're having to fork out for bills and shopping every month and show him what the figures add up to. Then show him what the average prices are for rent near to you and tell him he can either go and rent somewhere for more than what you're asking or he can pay up! Totally out of order on his part!