Room for a little one with a massive debt?!

planning_ahead_2

Hi RT

Just found your diary and caught up with your journey so far.

Just wanted to wish you luck and hope the tutoring thing comes off:j Glad you have a back up plan to use if necessary.

I'll follow your diary with interest. I love reading diaries on here - so motivational:j

All the bes
PA

In_my_dreams

Thank goodness you'er back, thought I'd lost my partner in crime for £17.5k challenge!!

Sounds like you have a lot of decisions to make there, I honestly think though that sometimes you just "know" what the right thing to do is and it will all come right for you.

Well done on the running, hopefull that should help clear your fuzzy head.

Don't go AWOL again

ramblingtree

Morning all!
Apologies for going AWOL! The days just disappear... But, I will keep writing, its one of the things that helps keep me sane!

Planning_Ahead - thanks for joining in! New people always welcome, as its someone else to keep me on track!!!
SavingHolmes and Penguin - thanks for the good luck. OH is up and down with his work, some weeks good, some weeks I'm worried he'll come home saying he's quit. I don't think he would as he knows what the consequences would be (lose our home etc) but still its a worry.
IMD - I have not forgotten about our challenge! I am now more motivated than ever, as at this moment, if we didn't have debt I would so many other options available to me. And I want those options!

I dont' know about everyone else, but I'm such a complete yoyo emotionally. Even when I know things are good, I then panic about it all going wrong, and then I'm ok again, then I panic some more. I'm annoying myself with it!

So, yesterday things became a little more sorted on the job front. My PhD is now going to be suspended for 3 months while all the carp is being sorted out. For those 3 months I will be paid my boss a similar amount to do some other work for him. In my spare time I can continue on my PhD, so pretty much its given me an extra 3 months, so in total I now have money for just over 5 months. Which gives me a little breathing space. Plus there is the possibility of getting more work here afterwards, but thats all a bit pie in the sky at the moment. So I feel a bit better about that.

I am going to ask if I can get an extra shift a week in the pub where I work part time. Its a quiet pub, I really enjoy it, have friends there now and its not stressful, so I don't feel like it would be taking on too much.

I am also decided on doing the tutoring. It will be a lot of work, but worth it, really rewarding and a good plan long term. I will arrange to meet with the guy next week to discuss it. I've been putting it off for too long now!

So, all these things are more career oriented than technically money saving, but hopefully one will follow the other. I just need to concentrate on not panicking! Every day seems to bring changes to my work and financial situation and I am just trying to keep on top of everything and keep going in the right direction.

Hope everyone is upbeat about the weekend and has had a good week!
Thanks for reading and I promise to be back soon!
xxx:beer:

ramblingtree

Oh, and IMD - I really really will update my 17.5k challenge part of my signature this weekend, I just need 10 minutes with my spreadsheets!

savingholmes

hi rt - sounds like lots of things happening at once. Just stay focused on not adding to the debt for now - and it will all help from there....

Happytogetdebtfree

Hello rambling, long time no write, i have been away on my delayed honeymoon early in january so just getting my finances re organised ready to do some debt busting although im ready for the sunshine to come out it makes the debt free battle seem mmuch easier... havent been able to read all the pages but it sounds like lots qand lots is going on... good luck on the tutoring and good luck on finding a new job xxx

ramblingtree

Hi all!
Thanks SavingHolmes - it really is hard to focus when there is so much else to focus on. And as such, I have completely failed at budgetting at the moment. I really have no idea what happened. I didn't keep up to date with my spending diary, there were a few social events and now my budgetting for the quarter is completely ruined. Might be a complete disaster, but working hard to prevent that. Picking up an extra shift in the pub each week now, making 3, which gives me about £100. So that payment will be starting from next week. The lodger owes rent, which will have to go on maintaining the status quo rather than overpayments or stashing away, but it is what it is.

Other disaster is problems with OH. Nothing he has done, except old problems rearing their head, sort of elephant in the room issues that maybe need to be dealt with once and for all. I'm starting to feel like maybe I want to leave. Which I hope isn't true. We've been together for 8 years which is a long time and I don't want to throw it all away over issues that might still be resolveable (if thats a word). So there have been lots of talks and things and trying to improve matters. With the debt and job stress though its sometimes very hard to tease apart what is stress caused by those and what is unhappiness generally with our relationship. I'm hoping that we can sort things out though. Just another stress on top of everything else. I may post more about that another time, but this is supposed to be about debt busting!

Still haven't had an opportunity to discuss the tutoring more, maybe this week. And the PhD suspension/job things are all up in the air while the powers that be decide what they need to. Would be nice if they let me know at some point soon...

Happy - really good to see you back! How was the honeymoon? Hope you and hubby had an awesome time. I read briefly on one of the other threads (i've been trying to keep up to date even if I can't write sometimes through lack of time) that you're feeling a bit less than positive. Feeling any better recently? I know its really hard when you want to do things like move and start a family, those are the times when life feels really unfair. You can cope without the new TV or car or whatever, but those things are too important to not want. I hope they give you the motivation to really be strict with the debt busting so you can have the life you want sooner. Sending a big hug to you!

OK, got to get on with work, really need to find more time to get on here as its the thing that stops me ignoring what I'm spending. Working tonight and tomorrow night though, so no chance of a spend!!

Take care all and thanks for stopping by.
xxx

savingholmes

Hi RT - sorry you are so conflicted at the moment. Life dealing with debt and job uncertainty is never going to be easy. Just focus on what you can do for now - and park the rest.

With OH - not sure what to suggest - I once ready a book by relate called something like Staying Together.... which helped me... I think what I hold onto is that my relationship with OH is not perfect but statistically I am likely to choose similar again so may as well make this relationship work if that makes sense!

Good luck!

ramblingtree

hahaha, thanks SavingHolmes. I love the statistics comment. In brief, our two main issues are his parents, who do not approve of my families religion (even though I'm not religious) and so do not acknowledge my existance. Gone on for far too long. Although, since I've now said enough is enough (should have done it years ago) OH is now trying to fix this. So on that front I think its workable. The other big issue is the marriage and children question. He really doesn't think he will ever want to get married or have children. Although, strangely, is willing to possibly adopt at some stage. And I am starting to think that I really do. And that one could be tough, as no compromise works well really. And I love him so much and want to spend my life with him, but with this huge difference between us I just don't know what to do. Life is sometimes very hard...
Thanks for the luck
xx

In_my_dreams

Had to do a quick reply as couldn't leave and not post! I have had similar issues with OH but I think it is the stress of the debt that adds to it.

We don't have as much freedom in our relationship as the debt continually holds us back from doing everything we would like and that creates resentment, which in turns brings problems between us and arguments start as does being defensive and sometime we blame each other for the debt - does that make sense?

I once went to relate alone as I was considering leaving him, he refused to come as it was my problem not his :mad: but it helped see my reactions to situations weren't always the best and that I was defensive as well and a lot of it came down to the debt.

One day we will be debt free and I don't want to throw my marriage away over a few hard years of slog to pay for us buying our happiness - sorry if I make no sense, thinking and typing quickly before boss comes along!!