OberonSH's DFW Diary Thread - 1 Woman, 1 Toddler & A Whole Lotta Debt!

OberonSH

I think you're all mad, personally. Barking, the lot of you.

Well, I now have another society group to hate - Gym Girls. Not the real, slightly tubby fellow treadmill-pounders - no, that's honest sweat that it. I'm talking about the girls who turn up with the sole purpose of... looking like they don't need to be there. My favourite machines, the ones that you sit on suggestively and push in and out with your thighs - favourite because of what it does to the disturbing pocket of fat I keep at the top of my thighs for emergencies, not becasue I'm into gym-!!!!!! - was today taken up for A WHOLE HALF HOUR by two women with perfect makeup, not a bead of sweat and who had them on the lightest settings SO THEY COULD CHAT!! Come on loves, there's people waiting for that, people with thighs that applaud every time they run (people like me). There's a perfectly good cafe downstairs, so you don't even have to rumple your perfect training clothes. Grr. They come strolling by as I'm working up a nice sweat on the cross trainer (the machine you kind of cross country ski on - you run on the steps and pull the handles back and forth), and the look they gave me ('OMG Tiffany, she's getting all....damp. Eww') was enough to put me off my stride and I thwacked my head on the handles, thus adding to the look of complete horror they threw my way. Still, I can change my body shape - there's nothing short of a personality transplant that'll sort them out.

And, my chicks, I have dicovered the secret to surviving the treadmill. The mind numbing boredom that envelopes me whilst I jiggle about for the amusement of the Gym Girls, attempting to stop my out of control norks giving me 2 black eyes. I don;t like running, and it's not something I wish to inflict on other people, but Gemma the Sadistic Gym Mistress insists that in order to not look like a whale in a condom on July 5th I must run.

Ready?





Bob The Builder



I kid ye not. I uploaded it onto my MP3 player by accident, and it came on whilst I was on the Machine Of Doom. It's amazing - you spend the remaining time simultaneously trying to work out how it got on your player, and marvelling at how you actually quite like it, and didn't Him From The Show with Martin Clunes (The Weedy One, You Know, Was Always Trying To Get In The Blonde's Pants) can actually sing quite well. The beat is perfect match to the pace the macine is set for my workout, and I ended up looping it 4 times. It's now a permanent fixture. Wouldn;t the Gym Girls hate that?

So a no spend for me, and feeling slightly more toned up. A tad. Maybe. In dim light. So have a good evening, everyone, go to bed happy in the knowledge that tomorrow is closer to Debt Free Day, and another opportunity to not spend anything.

MrsTinks

OberonSH wrote: »

I uploaded it onto my MP3 player by accident

Ofcourse you did hun... we believe ya!

Well done on attending the evil horrid place of Gyms... I hate them... I'd love to go and be fit and trim, but I never have anyone to go with!!! And I can't stick to stuff unless I have someone to go with - terrible really... *sigh*

hypno06

Thanks for that......I am now singing bob the builder in my head.....If I end up going for a run at 3 o'clock in the morning because I can't sleep for singing bob the bloody builder, I will know who to blame (even if my thighs DO get thinner) :rotfl:

OberonSH

Bob the builder (can we fix it?) Bob the builder (yes we can)


mwahahahaha Now it's there for good.....

Yes it ws by accident - my songs are all 80's cheese - Belinda Carlise anyone? It's raining men (weathergirls, naturally, Geri 'I'm so skinny I can play Pacebels Canon on my ribs' Halliwell is just pants), and of course, Blue oyster cult 'don't fear the reaper'. Which is something I court every time I try to run faster than a medium waddle.

hypno06

Oooh, 80s cheese, my absolute fave!!! On my ipod, I have the Human League, Tears for Fears..............and Adam and the Ants

(but at least I don't have bob the builder!!)

OberonSH

You will tomorrow. It'll drive you nuts until you have to put it there.

Think the most heinous thing on my mp3 (nowt as fancy as an ipod - hark at thee- although a lot of people at the gym have the strapped to their arms) is the Bosnia entry for this year's Eurovision (can't underdtand a word, but you have to have balls to appear on TV looking like a paedophillic leprechaun - google the singer Laka, you'll see what I mean) and a failed entry from a few years ago called 'Yodel In The Canyon Of Love'.

So come on chicks - what's the absolute WORST thing on your mp3?

hypno06

I have my husband's desired funeral music on mine........not because he is planning on popping off anytime soon, (although tempting at times) but because he spent YEARS saying "you know the one.......from that film"

So now it is on my ipod so when it is required, I don't have to go through all the old videos trying to decide whether it really was the theme from Psycho that he wanted.........

OberonSH

PMSL Now THAT'S organised. Think my OH wants 'norwegian death metal', or anything else that upsets his mother.

Anyone else with the most weird and disturbing stuff on their mp3?

OberonSH

Well chicks, a nice, cheap, no spend today for me. In fact, quite boring all round. I stayed in, cleaning the house with The Boy (well, he just sat in his bouncy chair and blew raspberries at me), and feeling quite virtuous at having completed 10 minutes of The Hotpant Workout. I only managed that because the instructor is hot enough to melt Michael Jackson's nose right off. But I live in hope that one day my butt will be encased in gold lame and not actually require it's own postcode.

Sorting out plenty of stuff for Ebay tomorrow - cheap listing day, so got possibly the most random assortment of stuff. Plenty of clothes, a camera bag I used as a handbag, old Yu Gi Oh cards and a pair of resin Buddahs. Go figure.

Just now waiting for OH, who was sent to Chester today for a work meeting. He called to let me know he was at Manchester, so should be home in the next hour. Asked if he wanted any food making, said no wasn't hungry, so in male-speak that means 'No, becasue I fully intend to scoot over to the Chinese when I get back.' As lng as he gets me a portion of hot and sour soup.....mmmm

So chicks, hope you all had a good day, nice and cheap - todays tip is to make sure you've reprogrammed your heating systems for the warmer weather, something that can get overlooked.

boredofbeingathome

I haven't sorted any more piccies out yet for e bay, will have to do it in the morning now as am shattered. The lure of this place..it sneaks up on you and before you know it another hour has gone!
I saw you asking on the glasgow meet thread when the next one is. I think it will be in leeds 7 sept, the IA is organising a wedding anniversary bash at hers on 2nd of August, and there is talk of the welsh and cornish contingent getting together for a bash..so loads to choose from.
Hope your butt has reduced overnight, i would lend you my gold hotpants, but are currently being used as a reflective heat protecter for windscreen! keeps the car nice and cool, like the beer ad!