OberonSH's DFW Diary Thread - 1 Woman, 1 Toddler & A Whole Lotta Debt!

OberonSH

Hey floss, good luck with that.

Yup, BIN price on there, now I'm whipping 'em all up into a frenzy by editing to tell people how many watchers there are, and they shouldn't let someone beat them to it..... I'm baaaaaad. But That 75k will pay off all my debts, and I can mve and set up a new shop from scratch with no debt nd be a happy little woolshop owner, rather then a mardy, grumpy dont-even-ask-me-for-help type shop assistant.

Spent today doing the planning bits I can, but with DD at the shop with me very little gets done. The thought of phoning the council and aksing them for a settlement figure, then popping down and writing a cheque (they charge for debit cards!) is really nice. Then taking a day off and paying everyone, putting out the shopfitting in the new place to tender to the local shopfitters (they can work for my business, dammit) it's a really happy thought. I certainly would never take over an existing business ever again. Too much hassle. Currently browsing the web for pics to inspire me fr the new place.

I tell you what chicks, just knowing that I'm going to be debt free before too long is a real boost. I'm still paying off as much as I can, and then when I do sell up, I will have more to play around with. I might even be able to take us on holiday if I pay more than £1k off before the shop sells. So don;t forget, the DFD is there, and we're speeding towards it, every day.

Tip for today: Slow down. Take some time out, and look at your garden, or wander round a park. Life is too short to spend it worrying. I'm not saying be so laid back you slip into your old ways, but don;t forget that your life isn't going to start when you're debt free, it's happening now! Take a break and just take some pleasure in something simple, like a nice flowerbed, or a cup of coffee without the kids/hubby/wife under your feet.

scottishspendaholic

OberonSH wrote:

Tip for today: Slow down. Take some time out, and look at your garden, or wander round a park. Life is too short to spend it worrying. I'm not saying be so laid back you slip into your old ways, but don;t forget that your life isn't going to start when you're debt free, it's happening now! Take a break and just take some pleasure in something simple, like a nice flowerbed, or a cup of coffee without the kids/hubby/wife under your feet.

Hey Oberon,

What a lovely thing to say - thank you. I've been so worried about stuff over the past 24 hours that you've reminded me to put everything into perspective and give thanks for small pleasures in life.

Thank you again!

scottishspendaholic x

ZTD

You certainly seem brighter and more cheery since you've made the decision to sell your shop. Seems the bf has been good for you in more ways than one.

Good luck on killing the past and starting a new life.

OberonSH

Thanks all - it's strange. Ask why to sell up 6 months ago and have rather scratched my own eyes out with a ballpoint pen. Now I'm a bit 'sigh' but not gutted. I think hubby leaving taught me to realise that it's no good holding onto and fighting for something that just isn't making me happy. The shop isn't making me happy, so why not sell up, pay off my debts and start afresh? I'm not a failure for selling, I'm just not interested in finding stuff with That slimebag's handwriting on, or getting yelled at by people who seem to think the previous owners were gods.

Scottish - I did it Friday when I picked DD up from nursery. We walked round a mini-park on the way to the bus, and I was so happy just watching her running round. It was the day I decided to sell up, and I felt really happy. That's the feeling we're all aiming for. Just living, not rushing to get anywhere, or worrying about whether the gas bill can be paid this month, and it felt great! Ok, I'm not debt free yet, and sods law it'll take another 6 months to sell, but at the end of the day I'm still being DFW, saving my pennies and paying my debts off as fast as I can.

Sending off the first letter to get my bank charges back Monday, have paid out over £100 this month, and I was sure there's a £75 cap on how much they can charge in a month. Still, sending them the letter asking for the list of charges to make sure I've got them all, and hopefully they'll cough up sooner rather than later.

DD has gone down for a nap, we blitzed her room this morning - the wardrobe is groaning under the pressure of allt he junk stuffed into it. The plan is now it doesn't look so overwhelming, to take a few things out every night, list them on ebay and them put the on the bookshelves waiting to sell. That way 'm not surrounded in mountains of stuff, DD has reclaimed her room (cot sides coming off tonight!) and I'm a bit calmer.

Well, 4 watchers on the shop, wish me luck everyone - I really want someone to have bought it and moved in by October. That way I have a shot at catching the Xmas trade in the new shop. I'm going to call it Stitches, and you'll all be invited to a big party opening night.

I'm off to finish cleaning the bathroom, and then get lunch on. Hope you all have a df day, and don't forget, you're closer to your debt free date today than you were yesterday!

Tip for today - Go through your house, and anything non-seasonal (like xmas decorations, or sun loungers) that hasn't been used in 6 months, get rid of it. You obviously don't need it. Not only will it hopefully bring in a bit of cash, but will also make you a) feel like you're actively doing something about your situation, instead of passively waiting for the next round of payments to go off and b) reinforce to yourself that you're changing your lifestyle. Give it a go, even just doing one room at a time will make a difference.

PigginSkint

Hi Obi

I have just spent a couple of hours reading through your entire thread. (when I should have been doing housework and putting some books up for sale on Amazon) I have to say I think you are amazing - considering what you have been through, how you manage to keep smiling! It's certainly put me to shame - I am guilty of feeling sorry for myself far too often.

Sounds like life is starting to treat you a bit better now. Keep your chin up girl!!

OberonSH

Thanks Piggin, it really helps to know that you guys are right here with me. If I dare look at new clothes, I can almost hear Moley, Fishy & Dotty shouting 'Noooooooo, put the skirt down and back *away* from the shoes!'

Chin's up, and I am actually treating myself to a new outfir for next week 'DIVORCE WEEK', as going out with friends to celebrate. Tried ont he dress I was going to wear for the dinner with about a million mates (didn't know I had so many until I found myself totting up heads and counting over 15!) and LB after a bit of forcing admited that it did make my tummy pouch look a bit big. Everything else is gothy stuff picked by The Rat Faced Baboons Ballsack, and the gorgeous balldress type monsoon dress I'm dying to wear before I get too skinny for it is a bit OTT - but you never know. I may just go crazy and turn up to the Chinese buffet place in a pink taffeta ballgown. Votes please?

Pobby

Obi hi,see that you are selling the wool shop.Just interested,did you go via a business transfer agency?

OberonSH

No, doing it myself. Actually got it on ebay at the moment!!! Well, can't hurt, and if I dont sell it, it's advertising.

Just did a bit of amateur runecasting (for those who know what I'm on about, read on, if you have no idea, then hum a tune to yourself for a paragraph, normal service will resume shortly). Picked out Hagalaz, and apparently this means testing times, a trial, difficulty before achieving your goal. Fan bl**dy tastic. Still, have a psychic member of our pagan group coming over Wednesday to do me a reading. She's absolutely excellent, and the first time I met her in the pub she leaned over the table and told me stuff that not even the ex knew about. Spooky.

PigginSkint

Hi Obi

Glad to hear the divorce is so close - I really ought to sort mine out as it has been 4.5 years since me and ex split up (just over 3 since the bu***r finally moved out!) . It was such a horrendous time trying to sort out the separation agreement that I am afraid I just wanted to let sleeping dogs lie for a while!!

P.S.Feeling a bit better now that I have just put loads of books up for sale on Amazon

ZTD

OberonSH wrote:

Thanks all - it's strange. Ask why to sell up 6 months ago and have rather scratched my own eyes out with a ballpoint pen. Now I'm a bit 'sigh' but not gutted. I think hubby leaving taught me to realise that it's no good holding onto and fighting for something that just isn't making me happy. The shop isn't making me happy, so why not sell up, pay off my debts and start afresh? I'm not a failure for selling, I'm just not interested in finding stuff with That slimebag's handwriting on, or getting yelled at by people who seem to think the previous owners were gods.

Sometimes the hardest thing is to give up what we have invested a lot emotionally in, even when it's doing us no good whatsoever.

Two divorces then - one husband - one shop.