Trying For a Baby part 4

stef240377

Had a really difficult time today in town. I find it ok to talk about m/c on here mainly cos its not face to face so no emotion shown but i saw my kids aunt today and she stroked my belly saying aww baby - had to keep it together and say no not this time.

Kids aunt had a stroke 2 years ago a week after giving birth to her son. Its thought the stroke was a result of child birth as she was warned she would never be able to give birth naturally and would have to have a c/s.
Well hospital totally ignored her notes and let her go into labour she had a really tough time and baby was getting distressed they still insisted she was being lazy and to get on with it, Was only when babies life was compromised they put her in for an emergency c/s and she had him. Was home a few days had friends round playing on wii and started to waffle incoherently, ambulance called who said she had suffered a mild stroke and took her to a&e but suffered a more severe stroke while in corridor waiting for bed. Fast forward to today and she is paralysed down one side, next to no speech - conversation is very limited to one word answers that struggle to come out, Blind in one eye and no patience what so ever.
Where her son is concerned she has had little involvement with him as she resents him due to the stroke, she is coming to terms with this as family have left her very little choice but it is difficult for her. She was 32 when she had the stroke.

elliebobs

Becs; when you get a min can you also add one M/C against my details. Ta Muchly xx

jacobsmum

Lauralou wrote: »

jm(can i call you jm-makes its quicker when typing your name!!)
Im feeling ok thanks,a bit up and down, had a few lil teary moments today. Didnt realise you had 3 m/cs, did you have any tests done? Dont want to sound rude or anything but in a way its 'nice'(well not nice that you went through it as well) to see that someone quite young as well has been through 3m/cs as well, kinda makes me feel that im not the only young'un going through all this.(hope i havnt upset you at all)

See thats why im liking the list im learning new things about people!!

of course you can id prob find it easyer too!!
havent had any tests done apart from having our chromosones looked at after our last baby we lost and i have an inverted chromosone 13.it was a complicated reason why we lost him so that was the only reason why they looked at them, if that makes sense?
so technicly no we havent had any tests as to why we have had m/cs we should really go to docs to ask for some as its been 4/5 years, but oh has only just said tonight that he would do it (tests)

((hugs))) to stef240377

xx

becs

Oh Steph how awful for both of you!

There's so many going through some really horrible times at the moment. I really hope you all turn a corner soon and can take support from each of us on here until then.

stef240377

Thanks Becs, i do find it very soothing coming on here reading all the stories from each one that posts, it kind of brings things back to normaility.

You hear the statistics for m/c in all the paperwork and research you do but you think that it sounds so rare 'it couldn't happen to me'. Then with in a short few weeks on here it looks like those statistics have centralised themselves and already there is a support group to help you go through the healing process.

Lauralou

JM how do they do the chromosone test? I think the doctor will prob want to do that test next. How old is your ds?

stef big hugs to you, hope you are ok

jacobsmum

it was just a blood test and it took a month,i think to come back,ds is 6 in august, growning up so fast (was just turned 17 when i had him)
are you planning on using opks again lauralou?
xx

stef240377

Thanks Laura, i still find it mad how many of us are here in the same boat and just a few days apart. Are you finding you are spending free time doing anything and everything possible to occupy your mind so you do not dwell on things?

As kids are up hubby and i have been messaging each other through facebook and i said to him i wish he would slow down and chill. I can see how pent up he is and yet he is carrying on like its just another day. He had a few tears when we left the hospital monday but there has been nothing since, he says his main concern and priority is me and my well being but i know at the same time if he refuses to go through the grieving and healing process now it will be worse in the long run. As we are together 24/7 due to his disablility there is no male dominated work place for him to go and let off steam i worry about him a lot.

becs

Sadly Steph I think even the m/c statistics are probably aren't really as high as I think they are in reality. I think there are so many women who don't even realise they're miscarrying and just think it's a late/heavy period. I think it's really only TTC women who can give a reasonably accurate measure of it. Just looking at the front page there's 28 women on there and 8 have had m/c and I think there's probably some on the list that I haven't updated yet.
Whilst that info can be very scarey and daunting I think it also shows that sadly m/c are just nature and sometimes even the medical profession can't explain them, it just shows more often than not it isn't something that is wrong with you or anything you have done it's just a very very sad unexplained event.
I must confess I have been reading the last couple of pages with trepidation and can't help thinking that those of you that have had multiple m/c's are holding out for someone to do the tests and say this is what it was, do this and it won't happen again. I just don't think anyone can give that guarantee because even if they do find a problem and can resolve it who is to say you wouldn't go through another m/c for an entirely different reason. I'm so so sorry if this causes upset but I just feel I need to say it.

stef240377

I know one of my mums neighbours had multiple m/c's and it was found for whatever reason she could not carry boys, she has 2 girls now but every time she caught with a boy it ended in m/c. She has since been steralised as she could not go through the heart ache any more. I know i am lucky to have my 3 now and that i have been blessed having a girl and 2 boys.