Partner just left and pressuring me for money

lonefather

RAS wrote: »

How old is your daughter as the rules changed 2003/2004?

She is 3.5 years old

lonefather

Dave101t wrote: »

your obliged to pay but most who dont are never caught, my dad wasnt.

Obliged to pay what?

I will be paying maintanence which im happy to do, afterall my child means the world to me and i dont want to see her suffer, although as her parents are now seperated i am concerned for her.

RAS

So legally you have full parental rights.

Even if she moves 100 miles away, you are still entitled to recieve all the information she gets from School, go to Parent's Evening, can stop her getting a passport or going on holiday outside the UK.

The assumption is that you will have joint custody.

She simply cannot stop you seeing your child. If she tries, the court could transfer the child to your sole custody.

The rules changed and affect any child under 5 years old.

Zoetoes

Sounds to me like she just wants to move back to 'X' because that's where her parents are and that's where she's from? Which is probably what most would do in the event of a split. It can't be helped if it's 100 miles away from OP's job.

RAS

I do not agree with their antics but your ex is being unreasonable.

Join families need fathers - they have lots of people in the same position as you and will be able to give you lots of advice.
http://www.fnf.org.uk/

next time she makes a threat, tell her the law has changed and suggest mediation.

never_enough

lonefather wrote: »

She wants me to be guarantor on a rented house because there is no one else she knows who can do it.
Don't, you will be liable for any debts she runs up.

If I dont act as guarantor she is going to get custody of my child and stop me seeing her.
She can't do that. Besides, if she's threatening that now, what's to stop her pulling that out of the hat every time she wants something else?

Things are turning bitter and towards solicitors which I really didnt want.
You need to get things formalised, for all your sakes.

If I dont give into her demands she uses my child against me.
Sounds like she will anyway! Sorry to be harsh, but she doesn't sound reasonable at all.

How can I trust her and be a guarantor if she behaves like this ?
You can't. So don't.

Its making me ill due to all the stress and worry and i cant take it anymore.

You need to take control of the situation. Get things sorted then you'll know exactly where you stand.

Good luck with it & please don't make yourself ill.

Gothdolly

I'm sorry to hear of your problems, but your ex is taking the mick. Pay maintenance and make sure you pay it into her bank account as others have said, it's easy for her to say you've not paid anything. If you can do it using internet banking as you can put a reference in to say Child Maintenance which will help you prove you have been paying it.

If she refuses to give you bank details keep it in a separate account or perhaps speak to CSA to see if they can help you.

I wouldn't be a guarantor or take out any loan for her, I doubt she'd ever pay you back for a start.

She's using your daughter against you, it's nasty but sadly it's what some people do. She cannot stop you from seeing her, so make sure you turn up when you say you will and spend as much time with your daughter as you can.

Is there any reason why you're not going for custody of your daughter instead, from what I've read you certainly have more going for you.

I split from my ex some years ago and took our son with me, my ex didn't want custody so I guess I was lucky that there was no custody battle. I have never stopped my ex from seeing his son and we came to a mutual agreement regarding maintenance that is within CSA guidelines. It is not your responsibility to provide a roof for your ex only for your daughter, could your daughter not move in with you and your parents?

Don't let your ex blackmail you, it's certainly sounds like what she's trying to do.

I hope you can get this sorted out soon, I understand it's a difficult time but stand your ground and fight for your daughter, get as much help and support as you can.

Good luck x

rachel6188

i'm so sorry you are going through this and i hope you get legal advice. iv got no advice but stay strong and don't let your ex walk all over you xx

lonefather

zoeleigh wrote: »

Sounds to me like she just wants to move back to 'X' because that's where her parents are and that's where she's from? Which is probably what most would do in the event of a split. It can't be helped if it's 100 miles away from OP's job.

Both our parents live in "Y" and its where we both grew up.

We moved to "X" for my job some years ago.

We've just moved back to "Y" to be nearer to family, but didnt realise how settled we were in "X" and we were gutted to leave "X" when it came to the crunch.

We both hate "Y" even though we are nearer to family.

Although its hard being far from family, we both want to get back to "X" asap.