Partner just left and pressuring me for money

lonefather

We are not married

email.will

Can I just say firstly that I am so sorry for the heartache you feel about not being with your daughter and for the upset your daughter feels, all to often the children suffer the most, I know how it feels to lose access to your daughter.

As for money matters, you are obliged to pay towards your daughters upkeep, there are CSA calculators on the internet to find out how much you'd pay based on your earnings and if you are "new" or "old" rules.

Either way you will have to give some money for your daughter something like £100 is prob WAY to high for the CSA to collect, if you do give your ex any money, pay it into her bank a/c and keep all transaction receipts, basically create as much of a paper trail as you can to prove you have paid money for your daughter, it will save so much headaches when the CSA get heavy handed.

Just make sure to care for your daugher but don't get taken for a mug, your ex chose to leave to leave you mate, it's your decision

Morglin

lonefather wrote: »

We are not married

This online calculator will tell you what the CSA would expect you to pay towards your daughter:

https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

Lin

lonefather

Ive checked out the CSA site already and of course Ill pay maintainance for my daughter.

Its the extras that im not sure of and at the moment those extras are big ones.

She is pressuring me to help with a deposit to rent a new house 100 miles away.

Asking me to get a loan in my name which she or parents will pay back.

And also asking me to be a guarantor for renting this new property.

Newly_retired

Of course you will pay what you should in maintenance. I can see that you want your daughter to be properly housed and looked after but I don't believe you are under an obligation to pay for a deposit to rent a new house as your ex quite plainly doesn't want you to live there. It is her decision to move back to X without you. If you are able to get a job in X you will need that money for your own place, so you can have your daughter to stay.
Have you thought about trying for custody of your daughter?
Was your name on her birth certificate? If so you will already have parental responsibility. If not, you may need to go to court to get this and also a contact order, if you have not already done so.

daska

OP - you seem to have just accepted that your ex can do this? Why? This is your child as well.

Morglin

lonefather wrote: »

Ive checked out the CSA site already and of course Ill pay maintainance for my daughter.

Its the extras that im not sure of and at the moment those extras are big ones.

She is pressuring me to help with a deposit to rent a new house 100 miles away.

Asking me to get a loan in my name which she or parents will pay back.

And also asking me to be a guarantor for renting this new property.

See a solictor - she is entitled to money towards your daughter, she's unlikely to be entitled to anything else - if she wants a meal ticket, then tell her to look elsewhere!:rolleyes:

If she wants to dictate in what and where she wants to live, then let her pay for it.

Don't get a loan, don't pay over lump sums, get some legal advice.

She's making herself and you child homeless if she goes ahead, not you. Let her move in with her mum if she's that eager to move 100 miles away.:rolleyes:

Lin

lonefather

She wants me to be guarantor on a rented house because there is no one else she knows who can do it.

If I dont act as guarantor she is going to get custody of my child and stop me seeing her.

Things are turning bitter and towards solicitors which I really didnt want.

If I dont give into her demands she uses my child against me.

How can I trust her and be a guarantor if she behaves like this ?

Its making me ill due to all the stress and worry and i cant take it anymore.

RAS

lonefather wrote: »

If I dont act as guarantor she is going to get custody of my child and stop me seeing her.

How old is your daughter as the rules changed 2003/2004?

Dave101t

your obliged to pay but most who dont are never caught, my dad wasnt.