Partner just left and pressuring me for money

lonefather

Just to clear up the situation, we used to live in "X" as a family for 4 years.

Then weve moved 100 miles to "Y" for a new job but that isnt going well at all and I only started 1 month ago.

We both wanted to go back and live in "X" and neither of us wanted to leave there, but we thought of giving it a go tho soon realised we were not happy there.

But now she wants to seperate and move back to "X". I would want to go back to "X" as well to be near my daughter.

Of course I would pay maintainence for my lovely daughter i dont want to see her suffer in all of this and it breaks my heart that she wont have her dad there as part of the family

Ive been putting into my daughters savings account since she was born.

The house my partner is in at the moment is rented and it is a 6 month contract.

But the estate agents say the house can go back on the market and as soon as replacement tenants are found we can leave.

The house could be gone within a few weeks.

My partner could go back to live with her parents but its hectic there and she doesnt always get on with them

She wants her own place which is nearly 100 miles away (where we just relocated from).

Shes had to stay at her parents alot in the past due to work, so its nothing new.

She is not in part time or full time work, but just does bits and pieces of what she can get.

Pee

So could you rent somewhere in X that might be suitable for you to live in as a family?

RAS

lonefather wrote: »

Just to clear up the situation, we used to live in "X" as a family for 4 years.

Then weve moved 100 miles to "Y" for a new job but that isnt going well at all and I only started 1 month ago..

Do you have a job to go to if you move back to X?

If not, how long will it take you to find one?

lonefather wrote: »

We both wanted to go back and live in "X" and neither of us wanted to leave there, but we thought of giving it a go tho soon realised we were not happy there.

But now she wants to seperate and move back to "X". I would want to go back to "X" as well to be near my daughter..

lonefather wrote: »

Of course I would pay maintainence for my lovely daughter i dont want to see her suffer in all of this and it breaks my heart that she wont have her dad there as part of the family .

It is your legal responsibility to pay maintenance for your child as per the CSA. It is your ex's responsibility to claim benefits to support and house herself and your child.

If you want to/can afford to pay towards one-off help then that is for you to agree but there is no obligation to do this.

lonefather wrote: »

The house my partner is in at the moment is rented and it is a 6 month contract.

But the estate agents say the house can go back on the market and as soon as replacement tenants are found we can leave.

The house could be gone within a few weeks..

You are very lucky they have agreed this

if you are living with your parents, are you at X or Y (or somewhere else)?

lonefather wrote: »

My partner could go back to live with her parents but its hectic there and she doesnt always get on with them

She wants her own place which is nearly 100 miles away (where we just relocated from).

Shes had to stay at her parents alot in the past due to work, so its nothing new.

She is not in part time or full time work, but just does bits and pieces of what she can get.

It is her responsibility to find and fund alternative accomodation if she wants to move back to X and not stay with her parents.

Pee

If you want residence of your daughter, don't provide your ex with somewhere to house her. If you want good contact, then you need to be reasonable and keep the communication going, without being a doormat. easier said than done, of course. If you moved back to X, is there a chance that things might work out for you all as a family?

lonefather

I dont have a job back at X and ive been looking because we both wanted to go back there.

And I will continue to look becuase now she is going back without me and i want to be near my daughter

Who knows how long it would take to find a new job at X, theres a recession and xmas is coming up.

I have a degree but lack some experience although have been working for 17 years.

My parents house is just round the corner from the new house im renting at Y.

The idea was to move back to X and rent somewhere to live as a family, this now seems a long lost dream which im devastated about.

because she wants to seperate even if we are back in X.

She says she doesnt know if its temporary or permanent though she plans to be seperate still at xmas and to me she seems pretty sure that this is final.

I dont want things to be bitter and nasty but i dont want to be a door mat either.

I dont know how to split all our belongings either.

We tend to pay half for all the furniture.

This rented house might be gone sooner than I think.

Some of the possesions might have to go into storage

Morglin

As I said before, get some professional legal advice to find out where you stand in all this.

Lin

IlonaRN

Why not suggest that your daughter lives with you when your ex-partner moves away? After all, you have accommodation.

lonefather

The only accomodation I will have soon is my parents and my ex also has her parents.

I am in full time employement although being off sick and having only just started the job means i could loose it.

I hate the new job and work alone all day (one reason for hating it) which will give me time to think and dwell on this separation.

Being in the job makes me very unhappy but not having an income will also cause stress and worry.

My ex just gets bits and pieces of work where she can but not full time.

I am getting legal advice tommorow.

We both want to move back to X but she still wants to be seperate.

She knows I want to be back there as well.

In a way I would hope to get back together as a family even if we both started living back there seperately, but I have doubts this would happen.

And if it did, after the way my ex has acted and treated me i dont know if i could handle it.

Dave101t

id be taking the daughter and letting the mother live alone, 100 miles away, on her own money.

Viper_7

To clarify as it makes a big difference regarding splitting of assets etc.
If your partner your wife? Seem so interchangeable these days.