Partner just left and pressuring me for money

lonefather

My partner has just left me and is taking my young daughter 100 miles away from me.

Im devastated and struggling to cope with all this.

I had just started renting a property when this happened and now ive had to move back with my parents whilst she lives in the new rented house.

But the new house is back on the market and could be gone within weeks.
She doesnt want to move back to her parents because its hectic and she does not always get on with her mum.

So she is putting pressure on me to give her money to get this house which is 100 miles away.

But my finances are struggling and theres a risk i could be out of a job.

Yet shes saying that my daughter needs a roof over her head and trying to make me feel guilty.

I have no idea where I stand and do not want to be walked all over.

But of course my daughter means the whole world to me.

RAS

Hi

I am a bit confused about new houses and houses 100 miles away.

PasturesNew

I read it as:

1] OP/she/daughter were living in house
2] She/daughter are still living there, he isn't (OP moved back to his parents')
3] She/daughter have to move out as the house is on the market to be sold (although no actual buyer yet)
4] She wants to move 100 miles away with daughter
5] She is asking OP to cough up so she can get a house 100 miles away

Gavin83

Personally I wouldn't give her a penny. You are not liable to pay her rent, although obviously maintenance is necessary. Is she working at all?

Also, if she had no where to live it would certainly help with any custody claim presuming you could provide a more stable environment.

Running_Horse

Personally I would ignore any adult disagreements and make sure my daughter was properly provided for. You will soon have a legal responsibility to support your daughter anyway.

roswell

she left her problem, set up a saving account in your daughters name and put some money in it save it for her not her mother. or buy your daughter what she needs and take it to her.

Running_Horse

Wrong. He has an absolute legal (and moral) duty to provide for his child. No strings, no buying for the daughter, no savings account. He will have to pay maintenance for his daughter, to the mother.

Morglin

If she wants to move 100 miles away then she will either have to live with mum, rent privately, or throw herself on the local council and see what they say, as she has got your child with her.

However, until the current house is sold and she has an eviction notice or the tenancy expires, she has somewhere to live, so I doubt any council will help her until that happens, so she's best staying put for now or moving in with mum.

If she wants to rent privately, perhaps you could help with a deposit etc.,? If she's moving and not working, then even taking into any maintenance that you may have to pay towards your daughter, she'll probably still be entitled to benefits and help with any rent etc.,

I would get some legal advice as to what you should be paying for your daughter based on what you are earning, and advise her to make some enquiries via the CAB about options available to her.

Lin

pinkshoes

Move back into the house, and tell her that she is welcome to move 100 miles away, but you want residential and full custody of your daughter, and she can apply for maintenance.

ps - if you've just started renting a property, then you've got a minimum of 6 months on the AST, so they can't just sell it and kick you out.

daska

Why is the house back on the market? Did they give you notice to quit? If she's deliberately making herself homeless then she'll really struggle to get help from the council, it's also a form of neglect. Could your daughter come to live with you?

daska

pinkshoes wrote: »

ps - if you've just started renting a property, then you've got a minimum of 6 months on the AST, so they can't just sell it and kick you out.

Depends on the contract - though 6 months is the standard, some are shorter (a lot of 3 month contracts near us) and some are longer (we usually opt for 12 months if available - thankfully the one really awful house they would only go for a 6 month contract.