friend slept with family friend but his partner died only two months ago :(

jamesey07

a girl if drunk can have sex if she wants, you say you have a 20 year old daughter? i'm sure she has been drunk plenty of times and done a lot of things that would suprise you, as do quite a few girls these days, but they always let on they r angels to there parents, and people react to grief in different ways, it it made him feel better even for a bit after sleeping with this girl then so be it, i don't think it's really anyone elses business what 2 consenting adults do

FiscalFanny

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

i just need to no how other people would react because i am not sure how i am meant to react.



my friend who passed away two months ago's partner came to a party at another friends house, hadn't drunk at all took me home and i went over yesterday to find out that he had slept with a family friend 10 years his junior he's 30 she's 20 and my reaction was i dont want to see him i am fuming mad that he could have done this to my poor friend who passed away but then i was getting told by a male mate that i should judge and when should someone stop mourning and start shagging again



i donno it did make me think but at the same time he took advantage of this young girl who was drunk and has had a bad time lately and he disrespected my friend who isn't even cold in her grave yet and that makes me anger.

She's an adult, she made a choice to drink and to sleep with him knowing his situation.

what your reaction be if this happened to you?






thanks

Your reaction should be your own surely, not others?

I understand your feeling for your friend, but (sadly) she is longer here and he is. Dealing with grief of a loved one, I can tell you is desperately hard at times, particularly if they are so young which is so sad and takes a lot of soul searching to comes to terms with an early death. Grief makes you do and say things that don't always seeem wise after the event, but at the time the greiving person is doing what they can to get through the day/week/month.

She's an adult, she made a choice to drink and to sleep with him knowing his situation.

Empathise with the guy, your friend loved him. You are no doubt missing her as much as he is, Share your grief. If you can't do this, then grieve separately, but it's not your place to judge him.

Sorry to see hear of your sadness, you've lost a friend, which is tough on anyone let alone when they are so young. I do hope you find positive ways of remembering your friend and dealing with your grief.

Fanny x

Michaelk

I think it's bad really bad he should have not done this taking advantage of someone's weakness is cowardliness and I think you should better take some step for this you can even take some help from a site infidelity-concerns.com/

SandC

Hmmm, if someone was taking advantage maybe it was the 20 year old young lady pouncing on the grieving bloke?

Nope? No I don't think anyone was taking advantage of anyone either.

Any

Michaelk wrote: »

I think it's bad really bad he should have not done this taking advantage of someone's weakness is cowardliness and I think you should better take some step for this you can even take some help from a site infidelity-concerns.com/

Can you be unfaithfull to a dead person?? Are you sure??

notlongnow_2

If you dont like him, why did he give you a lift home and why did you go round to his place the next morning? Do you have a torch for him?

SO sorry for the loss of your friend. I lost my best friend in the whole world nearly 11years ago now and theres not a day goes by when I dont think of her.

Artytarty

I too lost a very good friend about 10 yrs ago. Her husband married again quite quickly and I remember feeling upset on her behalf. I felt as if he was acting disloyally .But actually he had quite a long time to grieve for her loss even before she died.
It was a testament to their happiness together that he wanted to marry again. The woman he married had her fair share of heartbreak too, she lost a son and her husband in an accident.
I never liked her because she took my friends place. that was stupid too, because she would have wanted him to be happy.

fudgecat

Two male members of my family: decent, faithful, loving husbands, did very similar things within a short space of time from their wive`s deaths. One neice cynically commented "Don`t they let them grow cold, in this family?".
I think it was probably not a lack of care, but a desperate need to fill the vacuum of a missed relationship. Maybe its a guy thing?
Both men remarried and stayed faithful and loving to their new wives. Of course it was very hard to take for the rest of us, but I have to respect their actions.

poet123

I would keep my thoughts to myself on this matter and not be in his company too often.

However, my thoughts are these....that despite the need/want some men/women have to be with somemone new immediately after the death of a partner they are not compelled to act on that.

Un PC though it is to say, I think it is disrespectful, shows a lack of respect to the previous relationship, and to the memory of the person who has died. Seemingly most on this thread do not agree, but those are my thoughts, and my husband knows them well;)