friend slept with family friend but his partner died only two months ago :(

Gingham_Ribbon

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

i am fuming mad that he could have done this to my poor friend...

I don't agree that he's done anything 'to' your friend. He's a single man and he slept with a woman. There isn't anything else to say about it.

Regarding his and your loss, we all react to grief in different ways. You sound angry and want to lash out, he sounds like he's craving physical comfort. There's no 'right' way to deal with this, but if you want to maintain contact with him, maybe it's best to let him get on with his private life without judgement?

SugarSpun

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

i should have worded it right by saying he was never really my friend he was more my friends partner, he always cheated on her and they broke up a few times so i had some dislike to him anyway

but coming away from that what i have just said speaking to my best friend this morning who's sister it was the sister has said that nothing happened.

so the next question is why would he lie?

i would ask him myself but i'm not a big fan of the bloke even before this he was my partners friend while i was friends with his partner.

thank you for all the replies though.

You don't like the man. It's still not your business who he did or didn't sleep with and why. Unless you were in the bed with him, which I'm assuming you weren't.

windswept

omen666 wrote: »

I assume you were there then when the consent was not given, fvcking mug

How DARE you call me names.


A sober man and a drunk young woman is a very dodgy situation.
No DECENT man would take advantage of that situation, if you can't see that doing so is very , very wrong, well, you figure it out.

I take it you don't have a daughter?

Tinuel

omen666 wrote: »

How dare you fvcking assume things when you werent there and dont have a clue. Mug of the utmost proportions.

No need for that guys, we are here to give our 2 cents, that's all.

Tinuel

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

i just need to no how other people would react because i am not sure how i am meant to react.

my friend who passed away two months ago's partner came to a party at another friends house, hadn't drunk at all took me home and i went over yesterday to find out that he had slept with a family friend 10 years his junior he's 30 she's 20 and my reaction was i dont want to see him i am fuming mad that he could have done this to my poor friend who passed away but then i was getting told by a male mate that i should judge and when should someone stop mourning and start shagging again

i donno it did make me think but at the same time he took advantage of this young girl who was drunk and has had a bad time lately and he disrespected my friend who isn't even cold in her grave yet and that makes me anger.

what your reaction be if this happened to you?



thanks

I hope you won't be offended by my question, but have you ever slept with him, fancied him or been emotionally involved with him?

Zazen999

Can I ask why you went over to see him the next morning? Especially if you didn't like him; why were you there?

Morglin

windswept wrote: »

How DARE you call me names.


A sober man and a drunk young woman is a very dodgy situation.
No DECENT man would take advantage of that situation, if you can't see that doing so is very , very wrong, well, you figure it out.

I take it you don't have a daughter?

This isn't your problem - the woman (drunk or sober) was well over the age of consent - perhaps she will drink less in future.

To be honest, I would step back, mourn your friend and let her partner live his life as he wants to, as you are sounding as though he means more to you than just the partner of your sadly deceased friend.

People grieve in different ways - he's the one that's lost his partner, so he should be left to deal with it as helps him best.

And, yes, I speak as one with a daughter aged 34.

Lin

Any

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

You don't like the guy, maybe for good reason, and you are still grieving for your friend. You feel angry about the way he was unfaithful to her when she was here, and now you probably feel angry that he is continuing to be unfaithful now she has gone.

But you know what - she doesn't care any more, and neither should you.

He is not your friend, you have no reason to continue any relationship with him, if you don't want to. So why not just disconnect yourself from him - emotionally, at least. You are only hurting yourself - he has to find his own way through his grief, and so do you.

Exactly my thoughts!!!:T

fantasia322

Frankly, I cant see why you are still angry with this guy (especially if your friend has passed away. Whether he chose to sleep with someone on the night of her passing or 2 months later, thats really nothing to do with you)
Why are you sweating the small stuff. Unless he is an integral part of your life, I'd get over it, life is too short, as your friends partner is quite clearly showing.
Focus on whats positive and whats 'now'.
Dont mean to sound harsh, but too many people waste time brooding on things that arent really relevant.
Enjoy your own life and put this guys actions out of your head.

essexgirly

Totally agree, move on and think about your own life, he has no ties to you whatsoever now your friend has passed on.

What he does is up to him, get over it