really don't know what to do with my son.......

Bettyboop

Hi, just want to say I know how you feel. I'm having a dreadful time with my 6 year old daughter. We were supposed to go to town today to get her haircut but we aren't anymore. The morning started off with her having an attitude and being relcutant to tell me what she needed help with... she kept saying I can't do it - so I said what can't you do, tell me and I will help you. So I helped her put her belt on but before I had finished she snatched and sat sulking on her bed? I told her that we couldn't go to town today or bowling tonight and that was met with her kicking me, throwing a brush that hit my back and yelling that she hates me. I told her to stay in her room today and not come out, 5 mins later she is sat on the stairs and now she's on the couch? I asked her to go back to her room and she said she will not! I have a 19 month old son that needs looking after aswell and compared to her is generally very good. I'm not sure if it's just ages or what but she's also started sucking her thumb after stopping weeks ago. Oh well Iv'e had 10 mins on the PC... better run and sort things out. Good luck with your son. It's not easy being a parent especially during difficult times when they can really be out of control.

I forgot to mention that we are moving aswell, abroad that is. But at age 6 kids are still young and generally cope with things like this. It's as teenagers they can be a nightmare! So I have been told anyway.

Blackpool_Saver

Which country are you moving to?

dizzyb99_2

Boltonangel I can empathise with you, but also tell you to trust your instincts. I have two sons and have always had concerns about my eldest, now 15 yrs. He was born 'flat' without any pulse or respirations and was worked on for about 25 minutes but appeared to develop 'normally'. His behaviour in primary school was poor it included him running out of school several times being constantly disruptive in class, but this was put down to him being bullied and having dyslexia. He can also be an absolute darling. He is caring and considerate at times, and gets into more trouble than enough trying to stad up for the underdog.
When he started senior school his behaviour deteriorated further and on our request he was refered to an ed. psych and to the CAMHS team. We waited for about 18 months to be seen by the CAMHS during which time the school tried to have him sent to a school for disaffected children. Eventually he was diagnosed as having ADHD.
It was heartbreaking when he was given his diagnosis and said he felt as though he'd been given a golden ticket and now understood why he sometimes behaved the way he did. He has recently started on medication and he is so pleased he is able to control his temper more and concentrate on his school work. Things are still difficult at times but much better than they were.
I'm sorry this is such a long post but I wish I had been more 'pushy' when he was younger and possibly saved him from a lot of heartache. Do not blame yourself as a parent for this, you sound like you're a great mum. Keep on fighting for your so

jog

Hi Boltonangel,

You say the school your son is at is very small, but if it is a state school they will have a named school nurse. She will be based in a local clinic or GP Surgery probably.

The school should be able to give you a contact number for her, if not ask your local health visitor.

The school nurse can refer direct to a paediatrician, CHAMS etc without having to involve your GP. The refferals will take a few weeks to come through, so as you said you are about to move in the next few weeks it's probably better to get in touch with the ones in the area you are moving to, but you've got some time now to do a bit of investigating into the schools in the area you are moving to, go and visit them, ask to meet their SENCO and be honest with them about your son and ask what they can do to help him.
Get the info about the school nurse for the school you chose so you are ready to contact her as soon as possible after the move.

If your move is going to be longer than about 2 months then set the ball rolling in the area you are in now, as hopefully if you've seen the paed in this area they could then refer you across to the new area you'll be going to.

Good Luck

Jog

Brummig

Hi Boltonangel

Just to send a message of love and support. It sounds like you guys are really having a tough time. Be aware that the move itself might be really difficult for your son because all the normal rules are out of the window, and everything is changing. You are entitled to and deserve lots of support. Don't give up!

My son (6) has autism which was diagnosed earlier this year. We had no support from health visitors etc, but we were fortunate to have a really good supportive SENCO when he started school. Try every avenue - GP, parent parnership, Ed Psych, SENCO, Carers Centre, local Childrens Centre will have a mums and tots with health visitor present -go and hassle them for the contacts. If you know the school (assuming you are moving schools) set up a meeting with the head and/or SENCO now- you need to make the school transition as smooth as possible.

Just a note on Supernanny - I think she does some great stuff, however her techniques do not work for everyone. Like you we had disasters with the naughty step - once my son was there for about 2 hours, and I had cancelled every treat in the next 3 months including Christmas in an effort to get him to understand consequences and say sorry! It thought I was a total failure. It took me a long time to work out that he had no idea this was a punishment - he just thought it was a game! Sometimes we make the assumption that our children understand the rules and are ignoring them when actually they don't get it at all.

Hang in there. It does get better.

BitterAndTwisted

But Supernanny recommends that the child sits on the "naughty step" for one minute for each year of their age, so sending your little one to the naughty step for two hours would only be suitable for a person aged 120!

FiscalFanny

jackieglasgow wrote: »

That's exactly what I would say. These type of things sometimes don't really show up until this age. Demand an assessment from the school Ed Psych. and get the ball rolling from there. IS your SLTherapist attached to a pediatrician? Ask them how to get referred for a diagnosis for an Autistic Spectrum Disorder or ADHD.

Unfortunately you will probably have to be the pushy mum. Good luck.

Jackie X

Agree with this. Talk to your Head Teacher too. And keep pushing, I have several friends who have had late diagnoses of various Autistic Spectrum disorders.

You sound like you're doing all the right things, well done, it's must be very hard, I have two boys and they are in no way perfect and it's the hardest job in the world.

E numbers are obvious, as you've already done, but do try to keep them both to a diet as free of sugar and additives as possible.

Best of luck

Fanny x

smartpicture

I would certainly push on every avenue, but I would also say that sometimes kids grow out of things or find ways to deal with life by themselves. My daughter had the 'terrible twos' from the age of 1 to the age of 11. She was an absolute nightmare, refusing to talk to anyone but me most of the time and having regular tantrums that could last for up to 7 hours, although I brought my other daughter up exactly the same and she was very well behaved. At times I thought she was going to drive me mad, and once I actually left the house and locked her in it alone just so I could pull myself together for 10 minutes before I did something stupid, which I felt very ashamed about.

However, at the age of 11 it was like a switch just clicked inside her, and the tantrums stopped within 6 months. I did do a lot of work with her on different ways of dealing with her emotions over the years, because she just seemed to feel everything so much more deeply than everyone else, but I can't say that it was the solution, I really don't know why things improved. On the plus side, we never had any problems with her in the teenage years.

Later, my neice and my adult sister were both diagnosed with Aspergers, and it does seem that my daughter exhibits some of these characteristics, but she learned better coping mechanisms for situations she found difficult as she grew up. I'm just trying to say that sometimes things can improve as they get older regardless of what you do, so don't despair.

tandraig

hun - do your research on net - but for gods sake dont tell the medical profession! keep on at them - ask school for educational psychologist assessment and keep asking. its very hard when you feel you are banging your head against a brick wall I know - my daughter went through it. but its worth it if you can get a diagnosis - it does sound as if something isnt right - you just need to find out what it is!!! you sound a really caring mum and you are right to ban Enumbers - they do no good and can do harm anyway. keep posting hun - i wish you all the best!

dangers

scrimpingbadger wrote: »

Also look into Auditory Processing Disorder (even though he's hearing properly)

Many thanks Scrimpingbadger for suggesting this - I've never heard of this but it certainly ticks a lot of boxes with my son. He has had glue ear with a slight underlying hearing loss problem and is struggling at school. He is generally well behaved at school although he does lose concentration easily. I will be having a word with his class teacher and the SENCO when we return next week.

Sorry for hijacking your thread Boltonangel