really don't know what to do with my son.......

jenhug

I'd be thinking ADHD and autism of some description. You need to insit of a refferal to a pead. and school should get an educational psychologist involved pronto.

kim85

Just like to 2nd ifits speak to the school senco (special educational needs co-oridnator) that is what they are there for. They will be able to offer you support and refer as neccessary. Don't feel like you are alone, there is a whole network set-up to help parents/ children. It sounds like you have been unlucky with the professionals you have seen, as they have not resolved the situation or pointed you to the right help, keep persiting. There are alot of good educational/ health care profesionals who can helop with your problems/ needs
And lastly you have not failed! you obviously love your son very much to continue to push for help x

best of luck - with all

Becles

My middle son (age 10) has problems and reacts with violent outbursts and tantrums. Our doctor referred us to a service called CAHMS which deal with mental health issues in children. We have found the sessions really useful in getting him to explore his feelings and why his behaviour affects the whole family. I would go back to the GP and ask to be referred.

Also ask at school if they have a parental support worker. This is an external person to the school and she looks after a few schools. She came out to our house and did some sessions with me which I found really useful.

The best one was called "choices and consequences". You tell the child to do something and there are two options, and the child has to pick which he wants to do. For example, you would say "I'd like you to tidy your bedroom before lunch. If you do that, you can have an hour on the xbox this afternoon. If you don't tidy it, you won't be allowed on the xbox." That's been working well, although you may have to put up with an untidy room and twisting because he's not allowed on the xbox!

Do you ever watch programmes like Supernanny? You can pick up some good tips on there too.

boltonangel

Hi

Thanks for your replies.

I considered adhd, but because he was well behaved at school thought I was being stupid but it does keep coming to the forefront of my mind. My only concern being that he does have times when he is a really good little boy with a heart of gold - they are just getting less frequent!!!

When I saw the GP i mentioned adhd and he actually laughed at me saying that ds was too calm to have adhd (because he was being very well behaved at the time and hasn't had need to see a gp in the 3 years we have lived in this area so the doctor doesn't even know him!)

my ds mo longer has a speech therapist because she would only see him during school time in a location 10 miles away and I did not have use of a car - but to be completely honest I found that she wasn't doing his confidence any good. She once called me in to discuss the fact that he didn't know the difference between a photocopied drawing of a cabbage and a lettuce?????!?!!!!

I haven't had his hearing tested because he seems to hear everything, but after what some of you have said I will insist that this is done asap.

With regard to the SENCO, I only found out that ds was on the register on Thurs when I asked why I was having to sign reports on his progress and other parents were not. Apparentely he has been on it since reception (he is now in yr2) without my knowledge - although I obviously knew he was far behind his class in terms of ability. The school is so small (12 in the class, which highlights ds's lack of ability) I don't think they have anyone other than teachers that I can talk to and I have made them aware of his behaviour at home and they've not said anything.

DS has never had any tests to see why he has problems with his speech.

I know that I am guilty of digging my head in the sand with regards to getting this sorted out but i really thought that because he was so good at school it was something wrong with me not dealing with him properly.
Not to mention the fact that when he was a newborn I was told that he had Downs Syndrome whilst on my own without dh there. It took two weeks of me chasing the results for me to be told he was in fact 'normal' and healthy. Then at one year old he was disgnosed as asthmatic because he had a cough- I knew it wasnt as I suffer from asthma quite badly and he had none of the symptoms. Needless to say his inhaler has never been needed.

The NHS hasn't really been that great with him!!!!!

I watch super nanny a lot and remember trying the naughty step trick a little while ago, until I went to tell him he could come of the step because he had been quiet only to find out he had been quiet because he had been peeling the wallpaper off!!!!!!

To complicate things we are moving to a different county in the coming weeks so I don't know whether to get the ball rolling here or wait until we are there.

Sorry for ANOTHER long post!!

boltonangel

to answer the poster who asked about my husbands involvement.

My husband works roughly 60-70 hours a week so it is pretty much just me dealing with both of the children because when my husband comes home at 1am or so the kids are obviously in bed.
The reason for our move is so that my dh will be at home a lot more because I can't cope like this anymore. I personally think I am bordering on having depression (I asked the gp about this and he said it was hormones) and was diagnosed as having severe anemia last month which hasn't helped my energy levels!!!

cakeordeath_2

I'd suggest getting him assessed too, some of his problems sound similar to young children with Asperger's Syndrome..which is a type of high functioning autism. Here's a web page showing possible signs and symptoms. http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/brain/asperger.html#a_Signs_and_Symptoms

My DS has Asperger's he's 13 now, if you'd like any more info I can PM you.

scrimpingbadger

I think you need to call in the Ed Pysch. None of his behaviour is actually your fault. If his speech has been a problem he may well be frustrated. Also look into Auditory Processing Disorder (even though he's hearing properly) as well as adhd and autism.
PLease don't be scared of any of these things - help is out there for him and you.
And please don't think these are platitudes - my son seems to have a combination of all three.

Loretta

I would wait until after your move your GP doesn't sound that helpful

My 3 children are grown up now but looking back and what I now know I would say that you know your child better than anyone else and if you think something is wrong you are right. Insist at his school (new one) and new GP that it is all looked into. It is hard during an appointment with the school or GP to remember everything. Carry a pad and pen around with you for about a week, keep a log of everything, what he eats and drinks for each meal, what his behaviour is like maybe every hour, what you have been doing with him, what time he goes to sleep, everything and see if you can find a pattern and then you will feel more confident when you are explaining.

If by any chance you do need to handle him differently, all children are different even in the same family and brought up and treated the same way, you still need some help if you have asked for it and you should not have been dismissed like this. You mentioned several health things which have turned out to be not correct and you say the school have been keeping a special eye on him so clearly other people seem to think that something is not quite right so now it needs to be sorted out exactly what is wrong once and for all and for his sake as well as yours he needs any extra help or treatment that is required.

Good luck, I am sure you are right you are his Mum!

tandraig

hun your gp is an !!!!!!! - he shouldnt dismiss your concerns!
saying that - my grandson has being recognised as having probs at school and seeing the school psychologist for oh lets see aged 5 to 9 and his probs got worse! daughter was on verge on nervous breakdown - but - his educational psychologist got him assessed by a proffessor from st georges i think in london and she diagnosed him as aspbergers - so all the behavioural stuff - which school psychologist suggested - were a waste of time! he has an autistic spectrum disorder -which i am not saying is your problem it could be adhd.

HRV

I'm assuming that your move means a new school too. By the sound of the current school they don't seem to be particularly clued up on working with SEN children. If your child has been put on the SEN register they must inform you and have you sign his IEPs every term. I am concerned that they restrained a child because of a vocal outburst. I think a new school may be a new start for your son. I agree your GP wasnt very helpful and you should see some one else. With regard to school agencies (I am a primary teacher) there are a vrariety of people they could call in to help assess your son- may be the ed psyc but possibly behaviour support?? I think CAHMS may also help too as suggested by someone else. In my LEA once the parents have taken child to Speech and Language and they have been given a program the school supports this by giving the child 5-10 mins each day working on the targets
hop this help