do people know when they are near the end of their life?!

Errata

I think human beings try to make sense of things, and try to give them meaning, especially events like death. Whatever comforts people, comforts them and that's sufficient.

Emzycal

hezza86 wrote: »

Thanks folks, I appriciate that some of you just say that its her dementia and nothing more but its nice to hear of others who believe it could be something more, only time will tell i suppose.
I think i was just looking for some comfort that it is possible that maybe this asking for loved ones that have died, infact shes not really been asking for them as such,more of a where are they as if they were hear yesterday whereas thats never really been an issue with her dementia before.which makes us think it could be something more spiritual.

Remember that dementia is a progressive illness - one day she may not have been saying or doing a certain thing,that dosn't mean she won't the next.

x

Errata

One of the problems with dementia is that memory is affected. Someone may completely forget that a husband, wife, sibling, child, parent has died. Or even believe that a visitor is a long dead relative.
For a while before my mum died she believed that I worked at her care home, although up to then she recognised me as her daughter who was visiting her. It didn't bother me, because it didn't bother her and her peace of mind was paramount.

lavidaloca

A few days before she died my Aunt kept saying the names of people who had visited her only they were all dead.

notsayingaword

My dad was ill for many years with heart disease and was constantly told throughout my childhood that he wouldn't have long to live. When I was 27 he was taken into hospital for the umpteenth time but this time was different. He was singing hymns and holding conversations with "imaginary" people and telling them "hold on I'm coming soon", whilst my mum was in the room with him. He died soon after and I do believe he knew it finally was the end.

WolfSong2000

This may not be quite the same, as there was (luckily) no death involved, but it does seem to echo what some other people have been saying...

Almost 20 years ago my father contracted a new strain of meningitis whilst in Africa. He was treated in S. Africa, but was very ill as there was no treatment yet for his strain of meningitis and the doctors over there had to come up with one...in the meantime it was touch and go, and my father had complications and was in and out of consciousness...my mother flew out to be with him and also told her father (my grandfather) about the whole thing - he said something along the lines of he'd pray for/be with my dad...

Anyhow, at one point my mother walked into my dad's hospital room to find him totally awake and alert and as she approached he asked her if she'd seen her dad (my grandad) as he'd just left the room as she walked in and they'd been having a good chat beforehand. Only problem with this was that my grandfather was in a totally different country at the time, so there's no way he could have been at my father's bedside.

For the record, my father's a total sceptic, and although he got along with my grandad okay, they never had any sort of special relationship, so it would be odd to assume that he hallucinated the whole thing, especially when he was apparently so lucid.

I'm normally quite a sceptical person, but hearing about that did make me think...

Pssst

I cant comment on the OPs post directly save to say that it might just be signs of dementia. What i have seen though is what i call the death masque. This happened twice for me when i saw relatives late in their lives/near the end and although they were still alive,their face seemed blank/staring and devoid of hope.

ellies_angel

My Uncle was dying from cancer. On the day he died, I spent the afternoon with him. He spent most of the time sleeping, when he awoke we would chat. He was quite lucid, then he would turn to the other side of the room and chat to my Granny his mum, who had died many years previously, then he would fall asleep and this pattern would be repeated. Late that night when my cousin called to tell me he had passed away I wasn't suprised. I knew with my Granny being "there" he didn't have long.
Incedently, as I grew up, we had an Irish Wolfhound and occasionally she would wake us up in the morning with the most soulful howling. She would just howl and howl. Everytime this would happen, we would receive a phone call later that day to tell us someone had passed away. It was the only time she ever did it.

consultant31

My MIL had been poorly for a long time before she died and for the last 3 weeks had not spoken to anyone or even smiled at the children (she had always loved having them around her). On the morning she died, she looked up towards the corner of the ceiling and smiled and took her last breathe.

Anyone who doesn't believe in life after death will scoff at this and other similar stories, but it doesn't stop these inexplicable things happening

When my beloved Dad died, he had been comatose for 2 days but suddenly reached for my Mum, put his arms round her and whispered that he loved her and passed away just s few seconds later. It was the most compelling, heartbreaking thing I've ever seen but gave us all such comfort.

keys_2

Im going through a similar situation with my Gran at the moment as the OP . My dear Gran has just moved into a care home only a few days ago this week after the last few years of being ok and then suddenly becoming what I would call ill and ends up staying in hospital for a few weeks at a time .

What I have come to believe is elderly people will revert to talking to past relatives that have past away already due to slight stress like a change in circumstances or illness like water infections like mentioned previously . At the time I think maybe its because they are ready to leave us and find it comforting whilst also very upsetting
But I also dont think it means that they are going to die now - Having gladly been proved wrong .

I see it more like when I have split up from partners at the time when it is very stressful I seem to start thinking about past experiences within break ups Ive had and start reflecting on good friends and relatives that have died in the past and wish that they were still here. I seem to do this more when Im very low over a event like a relationship break up .
So my opion is that the elderly will also reflect and think sub consciously about close relatives they have lost in the past , and with age the brain has deteroriated which I think will be why they at the time think they still exsist .