csa liars

Loopy_Girl

chriszzz wrote: »

Thats really good!! flip the coin and she was managing on her own for 9 years, Is that all that matters here, that she may need some money??

What about the child and father?? Dont they matter?/ or is just about the money??

Like i said in a earlier post doesnt matter what a pwc does or say as long as she gets the money, thats the only important thing for some, never mind how the effect this has had on two human beings.

Of course it's not. Morally this episode is pretty poor. A child has lost out on a father for 9 years and a father has lost out on a relationship with a child. But we can't really comment as we don't know the circumstances about why the PWC has taken so long to get in touch. For all we know she could have been doing it for a positive reason (like knowing the NRP was married and settled and didn't want to rock he boat) but things have become so untenable that there was no choice.

There's no point us 'arguing' about it.

DX2

worried09 wrote: »

Yes, but the ONLY reason he hasnt paid child support is because he didnt know there was a child. Even if she wanted to manage her self financially do you not think it might of been courteous to let him know he had a child not just spring it on him one day as you need some extra money?

Child support is hardly extra money :rolleyes:
Maybe she didn't know how to approach your husband afterall it was just a one night stand.

DX2

chriszzz wrote: »

Thats really good!! flip the coin and she was managing on her own for 9 years, Is that all that matters here, that she may need some money??

What about the child and father?? Dont they matter?/ or is just about the money??

Like i said in a earlier post doesnt matter what a pwc does or say as long as she gets the money, thats the only important thing for some, never mind how the effect this has had on two human beings.

Yes love :rolleyes: you keep thinking it's about all about the money wouldn't want to burst your little hate filled bubble.

Loopy_Girl

worried09 wrote: »

We both work full time I dont really see why I should take a second job to pay for another child.

Agreed. It's not your child after all so if there's a shortfall in the family income then it shouldn't be you that tries to source extra income is it?

worried09

chriszzz wrote: »

At least thats one good thing about the csa, is that they only take the claim from the date the pwc has involved them, but doesnt it just tell you something else, that some pwc can have children, not let the father know and deprive father and child of a relationship and yet when they feel like it or need money they get in touch with csa and all of a sudden want money off nrp, not interested in the fact that the child has a dad and vice versa, bluuudy shame!!!

Thanks for your comments.

The reason we now need to source extra income (therefore probably both getting second jobs at some point) is because we had children and have other outgoings based upon our circumstances we budgeted for our children, bills etc.

We didnt budget in for having to pay child maintenance for a child we never knew about.

So now in order to keep up with payments and be able to pay for childcare, food etc etc and the child maintenace payments on top we now need some extra money coming in.

Its not the end of the world and we'll get through it I just wanted to point out that not all "2nd families" have gone in to it knowing what they were letting themselves in for.

chriszzz

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Agreed to a certain degree. Sadly it seems though - and all too common on here - that the CSA get blamed for debt or 'poverty' etc. I think its more the nrp not paying maintenance that put children in poverty, not the csa Why is it the CSA that cause debt? I think for some nrp they are ill-advised and basically go with what the csa say and then find themselves in arrears cos they havent quite understood, and yes there are nrp who blame the csa when they knew all along what and when they should of been payingAnd not the mortgage company, or gas company or Asda? Why is it that the CS payments seem to be an afterthought...that's what I meant by being a priority. Just like your mortgage/rent is seen as a priority 'bill' then so should CS and not seen as something that might be able to be paid.

As for the rest, whether you are paying mortgage, rent etc, thats just finances we have to part with in order for us just to live and will always be payments that will be with us till the day we die, every household has to pay these whether your single or a couple and thats before you have any kind of luxury, unless your very wealthy!

Loopy_Girl

Worried09 - I do hope your hubby is taken the option of a DNA test has he?

There are some vindictive men who want DNA tests for no reason that to be nasty but in this case it would certainly be prudent to prove paternity before handing over ANY child support.

If he has taken the option then you/he can work out how much CS he will be liable to pay via the CSA calculator and I suggest you tuck this amount away as, should paternity be proven, there will be arrears.

chriszzz

DX2 wrote: »

Yes love :rolleyes: you keep thinking it's about all about the money wouldn't want to burst your little hate filled bubble.

Hate filled bubble :laugh: Thats what you mentioned THE MONEY!! No mention from you the damage the pwc has caused to the child and father. I wouldnt say that was hate filled on my part

DX2

chriszzz wrote: »

Hate filled bubble :laugh: Thats what you mentioned THE MONEY!! No mention from you the damage the pwc has caused to the child and father. I wouldnt say that was hate filled on my part

Just replying to your post love, first thing you mention was money. The child may already have a father granted not his bio father but a father.

chriszzz

DX2 wrote: »

Just replying to your post love, first thing you mention was money. The child may already have a father granted not his bio father but a father.

Yes love :rolleyes: you keep thinking it's about all about the money wouldn't want to burst your little hate filled bubble.


But thats what the post was about, MONEY for a child. Love but then sarcasm is the lowest form of wit!!