help this chrismas is going to be sad

hob

hi guys. im so sorry i havent been on i have been stupidly busy, and every time i sit down i fall asleep! even on this bus this morning :rolleyes: im thinking i need to get some coke from the coop whean craig gets back lol.we had the meatteing and got his suoprt worker yester day. they said that he could go to a kind of foster home for adults for a few nights if i am finding things exta hard. craig dosent want to go and i wont force him but i want him to meet them just incase anything happens. my mum has been taken in to hospital intensive care for attempted overdose. she will be ok but i feel guilty as it becaue of everything that has happend , on the other hand tho what was i ment to do lave him to suffer? idk but thats one of the reasons why i want him to meet darren and paul. any way as you can probaly guess im megga stressed out by it all. i am loving the offer at the co op bogoff on hallowen jellys.
mary-op- i need to message you but i am. despite the above.thanks.
elsien- im going to check them out but i was alos advised to go to my gp, they have some things they can set up, as soon as i can i will make a appontment.
NualaBuala- honeatly there so simple i use aa size 6mm needle and to strands of dk (or i have done one chunky and one dk for extar thick socks) i have small feet size 3 so if im kniting for me i make them in child size,
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/maggieslippers.html hears the pattern incase you didnt find it. i got some green yarn to cast on a pair for craig just cheap acrilic works fine. something like sinder click just a little bit more expesive and they are super cozy and soft. if u get stuck (you wont very simple) juts pm me ill help could make them in my sleep.
foxxymynx- i have talked to my jobcenter they basicaly said it has nothing to do with them i have to prove that im cearing for him , and thus not being able to work full time. but i cant do that coz they will take his suport worker away if i do. argh!
Shortie- the post man came and had lovely things. thats way i was in such a good mood. Battersea Dogs home? for a cat i didnt think they had cats.i also didnt know that you could have two dads to one litter!! but a friend of mine said (im not sure if this is true) that she know some one with twins and there dads are diffrent!! idk how that works but wow. and im gonna get that xbox game i dont know the other one but bat man AND leggo how can that be wrong? super boyish lol.
angbrads- thats such a nice thing but i personly dont belive in god, i have no religion so i wouldnt feel comftable asking that kind of group for help. thank you so much tho. i hope you understand that i do think what they do is brilliant and they are wonderfull people but its just not something i feel i could do.
againg i would just like to thank everyone for being so fantastic to me. i know im treating this like a wine blog or mayspace page, but its your owne fault if you werent all so fantasic i wouldnt rant to you lol. then i would explode so thanks for puting up with my constant complaining. i know it must not be fun to read. and i hope its not upseting any one. ill try not to be so winey in my next posts.

mary-op

hob - don't beat yourself up about your mum..........it's not your fault at all. As for the suggestion about Craig going into some form of respite foster care.........that may well be a good idea if it gives you a break and helps you to cope and if he meets the family first it'll be easier for him to accept it..............be like a little holiday for him.
Have you been to CAB at all ? They might be able to help you work out the Carers allowance you should get plus any other things you may be entitled to.
And you don't need to be a religious person to have help from the various societies around................if the helps there, its worth considering so give it a bit of thought.
Keep thinking positive.............you're doing ok......stick with it:T

valk_scot

About Christmas dinner? I was wondering if your social worker knows about any of the local support groups or day centres running either Christmas meals or pre-Christmas parties for the disabled adults they support? Christmas is usually when the various charities and support groups pull out all the stops to have at least one social "do", and if you get to go too, you'll meet other carers in your own situation which is always good for support for you. Explain your anxieties about your brother feeling lonely at Christmas without a big social group to your social worker...I'm sure s/he'll be sympathetic.

As to your mum....well, I'm sorry about that, but you can't shoulder everything and you've got your hands full looking after your vunerable brother after all. If your family can't cope with you taking their "cash cow" away from them well...what can I say, really? I do admire you for having the guts to stand up to them and do what's right and honest. Good for you.

As to the money well, when my late son was getting DLA I certainly didn't think it was just for his pocket money, sweets and games! It was for all his needs...clothes, transport, food, heating, rent etc, and I got carers allowance because I looked after him and couldn't go out to work because of it. We got the money to support us. Now once you've got your finances worked out and managed to clain all benefits you're both entitled to, I suggest you work out a budget which included a fixed amount of pocket money per week for your brother. The amount depends on your other outgoings, of course. But you can't be struggling to pay for food and gas etc while he's spending it all on toys. Not good for anyone.

Tree...I've got two cats and they just LOVE Christmas trees too. Well, they like artificial ones. What they hate is small spikey real ones that smell of pine and have sharp needles. How about a small real one in a pot? Unbreakable decorations don't cost much from the £££ shop, or you can make your own.

Shortie

mary-op wrote: »

if he meets the family first it'll be easier for him to accept it..............be like a little holiday for him.

Hi Hob, I agree here. Okay, I don't know your brother at all but if he gets a chance to get to know the family, and it gets 'played up' as a holiday as a treat for him (even maybe with a 'sleep over kit' specially for it with a blanket, toothbrush and PJs kept aside just for when he goes away? I'm sure it'll be hard switching off from caring and worrying for him, but an evening off every once in a while will do you good. xxx

Please don't feel too bad about your Mum. I know it's hard not to have feelings of guilt (this is from experience, unfortunately) but your Mum is in control of her own destiny and maybe the realisation of what had been happening is sinking in.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Mollymop5

Diidn't want to rea and run.I think you're amazing and Craig is lucky to have a sister like you.I hopw you have a fantastic christmas.remember though Christmas is just one day.it's meant to be fun for you too.

NualaBuala

hob wrote: »

hi guys. im so sorry i havent been on i have been stupidly busy, and every time i sit down i fall asleep! even on this bus this morning :rolleyes: im thinking i need to get some coke from the coop whean craig gets back lol.we had the meatteing and got his suoprt worker yester day. they said that he could go to a kind of foster home for adults for a few nights if i am finding things exta hard. craig dosent want to go and i wont force him but i want him to meet them just incase anything happens. my mum has been taken in to hospital intensive care for attempted overdose. she will be ok but i feel guilty as it becaue of everything that has happend , on the other hand tho what was i ment to do lave him to suffer? idk but thats one of the reasons why i want him to meet darren and paul. any way as you can probaly guess im megga stressed out by it all. i am loving the offer at the co op bogoff on hallowen jellys.
NualaBuala- honeatly there so simple i use aa size 6mm needle and to strands of dk (or i have done one chunky and one dk for extar thick socks) i have small feet size 3 so if im kniting for me i make them in child size,
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/maggieslippers.html hears the pattern incase you didnt find it. i got some green yarn to cast on a pair for craig just cheap acrilic works fine. something like sinder click just a little bit more expesive and they are super cozy and soft. if u get stuck (you wont very simple) juts pm me ill help could make them in my sleep.

Hi hob, hope you're hanging in there, you've got so much on your plate *hugs*. Sounds like your Mum has her own problems, you've nothing to feel bad or guilty about but it's very sad and difficult. Obviously I don't know all the ins and outs but I just wondered if there might be a chance of having some kind of family counselling/mediation as the situation is obviously so hard. I don't mean to stick my nose in. I know in an ideal world people would see the error of their ways, big hugs and apologies all round and the whole family would live happily ever after and you wouldn't have to cope alone. I know life isn't like that though. Just thinking out loud so don't feel you have to reply.

On a brighter note - thank you so much for the pattern. :T I'm making a poncho at the mo so will give that a go when I'm finished. I think I'll even have enough wool left over to do it - I'll let you know how I get on.

Hope you've got a good stash of jellies to keep you going I'll be getting some for the Trick or Treaters but last year we only had one bunch of kids call so I got to "dispose of" lots of Haribo Starmix, yum!:rotfl:

Take good care of yourself - I've heard it said often "who cares for the carers?". You've got look after yourself first and foremost or you'll have nothing left to give anyone else.

Love,
Nuala x

hob

hi guys i havent disapeard off the face of the earth, sorry i have just been so busy, and my my laptop was playing up so i havent been on in like a week. any way i have been to the job center to see if i cant get my benifits sorted out, they said they will change them over but it takes about 4 weeks to change. oh well at leats its getting done. craig is not going to rest bite he dosent want to and he will be start his day center thing soon so there wont be much need. i have been to the carity shops and ound nothing nothing nothing untill today when i found some super goos nightmear before christmas toys for 79p each. so well chuffed with that.
NualaBual i was wondering how your poncho was going? yeah the slipers dont take much yarn about 100gs. valk_scot i couldnt stand a real tree i hear you have to hover them every 5 sec's. im sorry that i havent been on in about a week i hope you undertstand im just not used to all this work! any way i hope you all keeping well.

mary-op

Hi there...........shame Craig won't go for respite care if only to give you a break. Still, as you say, he's going to the day centre that'll give you some time for yourself as well as getting him to meet other young people.
Just make sure you take care of yourself and have some much needed 'me' time.

Take care x

esmf73

Hob,

Just to let you know the cake is cooked(!!!) and I have got a couple of small selection packs for you and Craig - and I'm going to see if I can package it all in something snuggly!!!! With the state of the Royal Mail I'd better send it off soon! Hope you're having a good day today.
XX

hob

happy halloween!!! I HOPE YOUR ALL HAVING FUN TODAY!! we wont have trick or teaters as we are in a block of flats but i might have to get candy just incase...and then i can eat it when they dont come lol. my cats sick again!!?? idk what he keeps eating but this is the 2nd time in a month thinking of taking him to vet if he dont quit it. i have been to wlikos and got some cheap crafting sets for stocking fillers i highly recomend if you know kids who would be in to that. some of the things are only 97p. but other then that i have done no chritsmas shoping.
mary-op - im not so botherd about the 'me time' its just i would like him to have soeone he knows if for any reason i cant have him like idk i go in to hospital or anything like that. its not like we have family. im trying to get a meeting just for a cup of tea or something just so if anything happend he could go to someone he knows. kirsty might have him but she has a young baby so idk if that would be such a good idea. any way we shall see.(thouch wood nothing happens lol)
esmf73-thats amazing, and you dont need to do that. i have seen postmen but no post!! i think there just for show walking around to look like the post strike didnt /isnt happing. i havent seen my post man in 2 weeks tho! my dvd of ebay got deliverd to the wrong house(at the otherside of blyth????) thankfully the man came round and deliverd it to me that was really sweet of him. i havent had any bills tho he can keep them lol.