What do you and your hubby/partner do in the evenings?

SkyKitty

I'm not working at the moment, not through choice or sickness, but am struggling to get a work permit, OH leaves house at 8am and is usually back around 6-6.30pm. Some evenings we're both in, I cook OH washes up then we often play scrabble or backgammon, so not too far from your Monopoly OP, and watch TV or read. We're always in the same room even if doing different things, and we go to bed fairly early, around 10-10.30pm so OH can get enough sleep. Some evenings he is out doing martial arts, some evenings I am out at evening classes, and I still cook but thats OK because he still washes up.

We do argentine tango Friday and Sunday evenings and Saturday evenings are usually with friends or at the cinema. Housework is usually at the weekend together, although I do of course do bits through the week while he is at work.

We've only lived together for 6 months so far, despite having been together for nearly 7 years and this is sort of seeming to work for us. I often fall asleep on the sofa at night, but by that time he's usually about ready to have a bath and head to bed, so its not really a problem.

I do recommend a shared interest, maybe you could pick up a new board game, something you could learn together, if board games are something you already do that might fit in well - chess, backgammon, scrabble, even draughts or anything else.

sarymclary

OH gets up at 6-6.30am and gets home about 4.30- 5pm. He does a lot of driving during the day, which can be rather tiring. He goes straight to the gym after work 3 days a week.

I cook dinner for 6pm, when everyone in our house has to be here for. We insist on a sit down family meal each day, as it's a good 'regrouping' time, and the opportunity to chat and catch up with each other (we have 4 children at home).

On the 2 days my OH isn't at the gym he goes for a bike ride for about an hour, after dinner. That gives me time to clear up after dinner, and tidy things away.

I am a SAHM, but take on the responsibility of all household, and gardening chores, plus basic DIY and maintenance. OH does the mechanic stuff, or heavy duty DIY.

In the evening it is actually quite unusual for us to put the TV on, and if we do, then it's a programme we both like to watch (often something on Discovery of the History channel). We tend to find that we chat too much to watch TV half the time, and often what is on TV will prompt a conversation between us. We enjoy each other's company, that's why we live together!

We go up to bed at about 10-10.30pm, chat some more, maybe read a short while, and then it's lights out by 11pm.

Can I also ask, are you decorating while you are childminding? How many children are you caring for, and what ages are they?

londoner1998

gabyjane wrote: »

Ok we have this long ongoing niggle running in our house and said to dh i was going to post for opinions yesterday so here goes!

I work mon-sat (working hours being min of 47), times being up and awake are from 5.30am till around 11pmish if not later as usually try and stay up for dh when he comes in from work. Bed around midnight so effectively about 5 hours ish sleep a night..sundays i try and lay in but my body clock or the cats usually wake me at silly o clock and i cannot go back to sleep!
Times of the day not working are 90% of the time doing something exciting like washing, cooking, cleaning, bills etc!

Dh works 4.5 days per week roughly 37 hours unless overtime but only usually in the summer. He leaves the house at 10amish ready for 10-30 start and then works till 2-30pm..comes home till 6 then works from then till whenever depending on work..about 10-30 on average.

NOW! the niggle is he moans at me for falling asleep, he says whenever he has the night off i fall asleep on the sofa and he may aswell have gone out..i disagree as usually we go out for dinner or are doing something, so the times i do fall asleep to be fair are around 10pm onwards, by this point i have been up for around 17 hours!..if we stay up and play monopoloy etc i am fine and wide awake but the prob is we have very different tastes in some ways and he will play on the pc while i watch, say hollyoaks!..
yesterday when he said it i got annoyed as i work long hours and he then says you know im only joking etc..so why say it..it makes me feel really guilty tbh.

He has had the week off and has dozed off a couple of times as he does a late night on a wed so was tired..i never said a word but felt like it!..he is asleep now as i type and will have had about 4 hours more sleep than me already (he gets up to do dd's lunch at 8am the goes back to bed usually)

So i wondered what others did in the evenings together as playing monopoly all the time is not an option!! I have told him one of us will get slated on here for one reason or another so be ready for the responces!!
Thanks

Right, I can sympathise, we sometimes have that problem- I work office hours, but if it is programme day (I work in radio) or I am attending to my trustee duties that I volunteer for, it can easily be 12-15 hours...not the norm though. He work three days at a college and the freelances..Last friday, for example, he did 15 hours on and off...we was totally shattered for hte rest of the weekend.

I go to yoga classes on Tuesday, pretty much every Tuesday. If he is free, we meet once a week at least to go for a coffe/early dinner/cinema if the wallet permits. If the wallet doesn't permit we might just go for a walk. A coffee is a good option as we can talk about the day and what we did. It has really helped our relationship. We avoid computers after work, only if I am watching something on telly he is not interested in (ie Sex and the city), but we don't like it because it keeps us very overstimulated if done late at night! He is a musician, so if we haven't gone out and we are at home, after chatter and gossip about work, we will go in different directions- him to the basement to play music and me on the mat to do yoga or off to read a book or do the garden, or whatever...tiredness has been a big problem for me and I came to the conclusion that is much better to just go to bed..together if possible. We do have dinner together though and probably about once a week we cook with a cup of tea or a glass of wine. and the radio on.. We didn't use to have a telly and to be honest, it was much easier. These days I ration it and go to bed if nothing is good. 10-10.30 pm I will be well tucked in with a good book and/or my sexy man with me...:D:D:DMuch healthier and you wake up clear-headed...

londoner1998

sarymclary wrote: »

OH gets up at 6-6.30am and gets home about 4.30- 5pm. He does a lot of driving during the day, which can be rather tiring. He goes straight to the gym after work 3 days a week.

I cook dinner for 6pm, when everyone in our house has to be here for. We insist on a sit down family meal each day, as it's a good 'regrouping' time, and the opportunity to chat and catch up with each other (we have 4 children at home).

On the 2 days my OH isn't at the gym he goes for a bike ride for about an hour, after dinner. That gives me time to clear up after dinner, and tidy things away.

I am a SAHM, but take on the responsibility of all household, and gardening chores, plus basic DIY and maintenance. OH does the mechanic stuff, or heavy duty DIY.

In the evening it is actually quite unusual for us to put the TV on, and if we do, then it's a programme we both like to watch (often something on Discovery of the History channel). We tend to find that we chat too much to watch TV half the time, and often what is on TV will prompt a conversation between us. We enjoy each other's company, that's why we live together!

We go up to bed at about 10-10.30pm, chat some more, maybe read a short while, and then it's lights out by 11pm.

Can I also ask, are you decorating while you are childminding? How many children are you caring for, and what ages are they?

You have a lovey set up Saryam, it seems very healthy, specially with children. My OH's daughter is 11 and in her home it is all tv and Nintendo, no games, sprts or family meals together. None of that in our home and she kicked up a fuss about not being allowed to be up after 9 pm... she complaints she is bored if she doesn't have the TV on, but I am standing my ground as she watches enough in her home and we much prefer she does things that improve her reading and writing skills rather than slob in front of the screen...
I firn too much TV makes me very tired ...I only watch things I am really interested in and are fun

gabyjane

sarymclary wrote: »

OH gets up at 6-6.30am and gets home about 4.30- 5pm. He does a lot of driving during the day, which can be rather tiring. He goes straight to the gym after work 3 days a week.

I cook dinner for 6pm, when everyone in our house has to be here for. We insist on a sit down family meal each day, as it's a good 'regrouping' time, and the opportunity to chat and catch up with each other (we have 4 children at home).

On the 2 days my OH isn't at the gym he goes for a bike ride for about an hour, after dinner. That gives me time to clear up after dinner, and tidy things away.

I am a SAHM, but take on the responsibility of all household, and gardening chores, plus basic DIY and maintenance. OH does the mechanic stuff, or heavy duty DIY.

In the evening it is actually quite unusual for us to put the TV on, and if we do, then it's a programme we both like to watch (often something on Discovery of the History channel). We tend to find that we chat too much to watch TV half the time, and often what is on TV will prompt a conversation between us. We enjoy each other's company, that's why we live together!

We go up to bed at about 10-10.30pm, chat some more, maybe read a short while, and then it's lights out by 11pm.

Can I also ask, are you decorating while you are childminding? How many children are you caring for, and what ages are they?

Hi i hope that wasn't a serious question?! no i certainly don't decorate with the kids in the house i finished at 12pm! i care for 1 child (1 day i have 2) a week but not many hours prob why i find the need to decorate as have nothing to do!

mouche

I'm out of the house by 8 am for a 9.30 start and OH leaves at 8.20 for an 8.30 start (I work a bus-train-bus ride away; he works down the road). I'm normally home around 7.15pm. If he's going for martial arts (usually Mon-Thu), he'll be home and out again before I get back, coming home around 8.15pm. If he needs to stay on at work, he could be home anytime between 8pm and 11pm but usually around 9.

I come home, exercise and shower, collapsing on the couch by 8.15.

If hubby is working late, I'll eat dinner (cooked in bulk on the weekend) and then I might watch 'my' TV shows, do embroidery, read, or do stuff on the computer. Once a week I go to the cinema with a friend (OH tags along if he's home and he wants to based on our choice of film)

The only time we really get to spend together is after about 9pm, which is when we eat dinner (usually in front of the TV though we do try to eat at the table a few times a week, or at least switch the TV off while we eat). I have lower energy levels that him so I'm quite tired by 9.30pm. We'll usually cuddle up on the couch together and watch something we both want to watch or something he wants to watch and I am willing to tolerate . We pause the show and chat when something occurs to us but usually that's it till about 11 when I go up to bed. Sometimes he comes with me and uses the laptop on the bed and sometimes he stays downstairs to watch more TV. We often have fights about his TV addiction but of late he is trying to talk to me more and I suppose it's also my fault for not suggesting alternate things to do. I will dig out the chess set and see if that helps. Thanks for all the ideas on this thread. They will help me as well as the OP.

LJM

in between his extra work hours and mine,me studying my girls and general housework what ever time we do get together we usually watch a dvd maybe a nice bottle wine.we rarely go out as im funny about babysitters

red_devil

watching the footy tonight:D

sarymclary

gabyjane wrote: »

[/B]

Hi i hope that wasn't a serious question?! no i certainly don't decorate with the kids in the house i finished at 12pm! i care for 1 child (1 day i have 2) a week but not many hours prob why i find the need to decorate as have nothing to do!

Yes, it was a genuine question. I was trying to establish how, if you worked a 47 hour week, you were finding time to do decorating, if it wasn't when you were childminding? Do you go out and do another job inbetween the childminding?

I have to say, I still am a bit confused about your working hours, and why you only get 5 hours sleep a night.

shellsuit

gabyjane wrote: »

[/B]

Hi i hope that wasn't a serious question?! no i certainly don't decorate with the kids in the house i finished at 12pm! i care for 1 child (1 day i have 2) a week but not many hours prob why i find the need to decorate as have nothing to do!

I think what Sary meant, is how can you work 47 hours a week when you say it's not many hours and some days you knock off at 12?

Do you have 2 or more jobs or do you class housework as work?