What do you and your hubby/partner do in the evenings?

gabyjane

Ok we have this long ongoing niggle running in our house and said to dh i was going to post for opinions yesterday so here goes!

I work mon-sat (working hours being min of 47), times being up and awake are from 5.30am till around 11pmish if not later as usually try and stay up for dh when he comes in from work. Bed around midnight so effectively about 5 hours ish sleep a night..sundays i try and lay in but my body clock or the cats usually wake me at silly o clock and i cannot go back to sleep!
Times of the day not working are 90% of the time doing something exciting like washing, cooking, cleaning, bills etc!

Dh works 4.5 days per week roughly 37 hours unless overtime but only usually in the summer. He leaves the house at 10amish ready for 10-30 start and then works till 2-30pm..comes home till 6 then works from then till whenever depending on work..about 10-30 on average.

NOW! the niggle is he moans at me for falling asleep, he says whenever he has the night off i fall asleep on the sofa and he may aswell have gone out..i disagree as usually we go out for dinner or are doing something, so the times i do fall asleep to be fair are around 10pm onwards, by this point i have been up for around 17 hours!..if we stay up and play monopoloy etc i am fine and wide awake but the prob is we have very different tastes in some ways and he will play on the pc while i watch, say hollyoaks!..
yesterday when he said it i got annoyed as i work long hours and he then says you know im only joking etc..so why say it..it makes me feel really guilty tbh.

He has had the week off and has dozed off a couple of times as he does a late night on a wed so was tired..i never said a word but felt like it!..he is asleep now as i type and will have had about 4 hours more sleep than me already (he gets up to do dd's lunch at 8am the goes back to bed usually)

So i wondered what others did in the evenings together as playing monopoly all the time is not an option!! I have told him one of us will get slated on here for one reason or another so be ready for the responces!!
Thanks

shellsuit

You fall asleep because you're shattered and because there is nothing interesting going on to keep you awake, so I'd say it was your OH's fault for not using his imagination to keep you awake.

Fair enough if he left you to sleep (like me and my OH would with each other), but if he's complaining about it, why doesn't he do something about it?

In the evenings once the kids are asleep and dinner and dishes are done, I will go on the lappy and he will either watch something on Sky or play his xbox360, unless we have agreed beforehand to do something together.

Normally I look at wedding related things, and its OH's jobs to listen and say 'Yes Dear'

DKLS

shellsuit wrote: »

Normally I look at wedding related things, and its OH's jobs to listen and say 'Yes Dear'

You missed a bit Shellsuit get it right girl.

its OH's jobs to listen and say 'Yes Dear' and sign the cheques

shellsuit

DKLS wrote: »

You missed a bit Shellsuit get it right girl.

its OH's jobs to listen and say 'Yes Dear' and sign the cheques

Of course!

DKLS

shellsuit wrote: »

Of course!

I could compare notes with your man :rolleyes:, and make him feel much better by telling him about my mate who is having 1100 guests to his wedding.

Going back to OP, I have found that the more I do the more energy I have, when I used to come home from work and flop in front of the idiot box, I was always tired.

These days I am much more active and go to dancing classes with my fianc!e 2-3 times a week, it has improved our fitness, its difficult and loads of fun and has a great social scene. As a side note it has strengthened our relationship no end, as they say the Argentine Tango is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

With a bit of luck and once the choreography has sunk into my head, we will be able to perform an amazing 1st wedding dance.

gabyjane

Thanks! see DKLS i agree about doing more BUT firstly we have a dd so she has to go to bed, kinda limits us going out wise as no family etc..plus the amount i work i'm not sure an aerobics class wouldn't kill me lol!! i know what you mean though but really has to be something home related i guess! i know not much really but worth an ask..someone may do something really exciting that i hadn't thought of!

shellsuit

DKLS wrote: »

I could compare notes with your man :rolleyes:, and make him feel much better by telling him about my mate who is having 1100 guests to his wedding.

Going back to OP, I have found that the more I do the more energy I have, when I used to come home from work and flop in front of the idiot box, I was always tired.

These days I am much more active and go to dancing classes with my fianc!e 2-3 times a week, it has improved our fitness, its difficult and loads of fun and has a great social scene.

With a bit of luck and once the choreography has sunk into my head, we will be able to perform an amazing 1st wedding dance.

Hey, it's OH's choice to have this wedding! Me? I wanted a quick and simple registry office, then to fly out somewhere the same day.

It's him who wants the whole shebang, although we are only having 45 in the day and 100 in the evening.

1100, how does he know so many people, i dread to imagine the cost per head!! :eek::rotfl:


I'd love to take up dancing, OH wouldn't though, he says he has 2 left feet.

I'd quite like to do kick boxing or something really active. It would be impossible to do with having 3 children and OH working mad hours, but it's a pain seeing as we have a big sports centre at the bottom of our road :rolleyes:

It's true what you say though, if you don't excercise your brain, it gets sleepy!

DKLS

shellsuit wrote: »

Hey, it's OH's choice to have this wedding! Me? I wanted a quick and simple registry office, then to fly out somewhere the same day.

It's him who wants the whole shebang, although we are only having 45 in the day and 100 in the evening.

1100, how does he know so many people, i dread to imagine the cost per head!! :eek::rotfl:


I'd love to take up dancing, OH wouldn't though, he says he has 2 left feet.

Our own wedding is 40 guests all in, we did cut that down from 120 ish so we could afford our extravagant honeymoon in Thailand

My mate who is having 1100 guests is Muslim, and basically they have to invite everyone they have ever known inc the family doctor!, or it will lead to family feuds that last generations. He said he stopped fretting when the list got to 600!, The menu is fab all curries and kebabs, So I am very happy, he said its going to cost £10 a head :eek:

2 left feet are no excuse, I had 2 of them and with training, I have whipped them into shape and they do now obey my commands. :rolleyes: Well most of the time anyway :rotfl:

pinkshoes

Could you not cut your working hours? Or do 5 days a week instead of 6?

You sound shattered, and need a break! I couldn't do what you do, and I need to have at least 6 hours sleep, preferably 8!

Why not go out for dinner, then you can go home to bed, and he can go out!?

Any

You are working so hard! You get 5 hrs sleep and he is moaning?
I think he needs a kick in the bum...

Why do you work so hard? What do you do and what does he do?

ema_o

It really doesn't sound like you are getting enough sleep - are you up all those hours because you need to be or do you get up early to do housework?
OH and I work the same number of hours, but because I work further away he tends to do a bit more of the housework during the week (if your OH isn't doing this maybe he could?)
I am the same as you at the wknd and usually awake far too early. What I have found works for me is if I get up, do a bit of housework for an hour then go back to bed I can actually lie in a bit better (may not be an option with your DD but may be worth a try).
In the evenings we are often both out doing diferent things (I go to yoga, he does rugby training etc) but then we get back and make dinner together, then often watch tv while we eat it. Not ideal I know, but at least once a week we eat at the table.
I find I need to be in bed by 11 to avoid feeling shattered, I don't even get up 'till an hour after you, so I don't know how you manage it! I fall asleep on the sofa too if I'm tired regardless of whether I'm interested in what is on. I can stay awake if we play cards tho.