What do you and your hubby/partner do in the evenings?

sarymclary

Thanks Shell, ^^^ that's exactly what I was wondering. If I counted the number of hours I was trudging around here at home looking after 4 kids (and 2 step kids), as well as doing all the decorating and gardening, I think I'd end up working *taps into calculator* a 100 hour week. Blimey, and I don't even get paid for doing any of it! I don't even get days off sick! I don't have a union rep to complain to either. Beggar!

shellsuit

sarymclary wrote: »

Thanks Shell, ^^^ that's exactly what I was wondering. If I counted the number of hours I was trudging around here at home looking after 4 kids (and 2 step kids), as well as doing all the decorating and gardening, I think I'd end up working *taps into calculator* a 100 hour week. Blimey, and I don't even get paid for doing any of it! I don't even get days off sick! I don't have a union rep to complain to either. Beggar!

Oh gosh I'm so sorry, I misread and thought it was Sally, not sary, I've edited my post now :rotfl:

Agree totally with your post though ~ I'm on maternity leave looking after our 5 month old as well as 2 other children, washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, tidying, hoovering...it's never ending but I wouldn't say it's work and work out how many hours I do, it's just my job as a Mum! (Until i got back to work next April, *groan*!)

gabyjane

Hi saryclary hope i have the right name! my job or should i say jobs are all over the place..i have a morning job for 2 hours 6-8am poss more depends on whether holidays as do more then..i childmind but only do till 11 or 12 or 3 after the mindee has gonei have the rest of the day (decorating!) till 3pm then i am picking up as do school runs..like now i worked till 12 today then had till 3 off went to school did the school runs and am out again at 4.45pm to start again as after school club lot!..i also work saturdays in another job.
On average i work 47 hours, can be less if the kids are ill and i then dont work or if it is holidays i actually work more! none of the housework was included as 'working' as such! I love that my job is so varied as such but also they are all over the place too!
Hope that makes a bit more sense!

liney

Perhaps you should rethink the 6am starts which are causing you to be up at 5am meaning you are knackered at night, and causing problems with your relationship.

Can you take another child during the day instead to make the money up?

gabyjane

The reason i do the 6am start is for security, my other job is SE so no security as such, i can be buisy one min and then dead as and like knowing what income we have as guaranteed..it is aswell a very easy job and very flexible and good pay but yes is making me tired..sorry sounds like im saying no to any suggestion but with a huge loss of jobs at the mo and very quiet on the childcare front i'm certainly not jacking that in! Our relationship is fine we just have this odd niggle with each other at times and was just wondering what others do.
Thanks

GFN123

Gabyjane - I get where you're coming from. I blew up in the end because I felt like all OH & I did was get up - got to work - come home - watch TV - bed (to sleep!) and I want a more varied life than that.

We had a heart to heart and as a consequence I am more understanding of the long hours he does & sometimes pick up the slack, and he is more happy to suggest or do things of an evening.

It's just the simple things that have helped us both (our situation being the reverse of you & your OH). So if he is stuck doing a particularly long day, I'll usually have dinner ready & do a bit more round the house. When my work goes crazy, which is less often but for short, intense periods, he will do the same for me.

I have stopped expecting too much & now we do simple things we enjoy of an evening. I find TV a real 'relationship drain' if you sit & stare at it & don't converse, so some nights we don't turn it on at all, but curl up on the sofa with a glass of wine & have a chat.

At least once, usually twice a week, we run a bath & just take a long soak together & grab an early night.

It's about a bit of compromise & respecting the other's needs. Last night we had planned to have our bath, but OH was shattered & asleep on the sofa by 9pm. Previously I would have got cross at him for 'ruining' our evening, but I let him be & we had a cuddle when he made it to bed instead.

I would like to do more in the evenings, but I have also learned to be happy with what we do do as well.

Could you negotiate with your OH? I made mine give me a few ideas of things he would enjoy in the evenings, I gave him my list and we try and get round to doing something for each other most weeks

One thing we haven't done yet, but was on my list - was pick a book we really liked or wanted to read and read each other a chapter a night. I put dance classes too, but small steps!!! :rotfl:

celler

I work 8.30 - 4.30 mon fri and pretty much do as i please after that till at least 1am sometimes later if wish.Wife quit work 3 or 4 years ago now does as pleases(chores,cooking OU Course not included )We just used to fight over cooking cleaning and all the have to do stuff .
Obviously this meant cutting back a lot no more trips abroad and the like and money can be tight .But having months of labour for a few good weeks made little sense.We aint got kids so have more time than many.We share time if somthing on tv or for a movie maybe walk dog.Or just chat we seldom go out most are hobbies are homebased
ME Reading,Computing,Movies,Gaming,Music and DIY
WIFE Reading,Writing,Movies,Learning and Computing

Sometimes less is more certainly is for us anyways.

LouBlue

We're pretty sad, we chat, watch tv, play music, go to the gym together or just talk rubbish generally putting the world to rights!

We do have completely different body clocks, OH is dead to the world by 10pm (he has ME) and I am a night owl, so we have to make the effort to spend quality time together before he heads off to the land of nod. Bless him.

jcr16

i'm lucky in the respect i don't work i'm a sahm, hubby works 8 till 4. so we do get alot of time in evenings together. kids generally all in bed by 7, half 7 latest.so in an evening we do a puzzle, watch dvd, watch hallmark channel ( love svu, house etc ) if hubby play xbox i'll pop on net for a bit. i generally get all my household job done in day. we do the lunch boxes together night before. hubby likes to help me with the meal planner that can take an evening.i like card games however not very good at them,lol.

however hubby can stay awake alot later than i, if we got duvet down to snuggle while watching a dvd give me an hour and i'm sound asleep on his chest,lol. at he mo i can sleep for england.

Mark-W_2

My ex used to drive me crazy in the evenings as she flatley refused to do anything other than sit on the sofa watching soaps and surfing ebay.
When we first started dating she was happy to go out for a drink, meal cinema etc but after a few months the rot started to set in.
By the time we split she would come home from work 5pm is usually cook tea as she got home first, once tea was finished put her pyjamas on (6pm) and vegitate in front of the TV unitl 10pm then go to bed.
She would only ever stay up past 10pm on a saturday and that was a struggle!

I tried hard to get her to do things as a couple but everything was too much effort, this left me very irratated as we had no social life together.

However my current g/f loves going out for a meal, drink, cinema, walks etc and i stuggle to keep up with her