Should I tell my Mum she needs full time care?

mar<

EdInvestor wrote: »

I may be missing something but surely it's just a matter of time before someone has to tell your mother that she can't live alone at home any more.It's just a matter of when?

There will be an enormous amount to do in organising this,from choosing the care home to raising the funds to pay for it, which may involve selling her house.She is already running up a bill in the temporary place.I'd have thought you need to move forward in particular on the issue of where she will be located, near you or where she lives now.

Well yes I realise that Social Services are in the process of dealing with this and I'm presently waiting on their lead.

She's in a care home that is very suitable and she seems to like it a lot and is a lot more alert and healthy. Currently an insurance company is paying for her accommodation and we are desperate to get things sorted out financially. We're waiting for a solicitor to finalise the PoA.

mar<

bryanb wrote: »

I think it was a couple of years back that POAs changed, there was a lot of publicity about the newer lasting ones costing a lot more. On that basis many families set up enduring POAs as a precaution (enduring one do "last" as well). Worthwhile checking the paperwork.

Ok thanks will do. We did it with an Age Concern lawyer at no cost if I remember correctly.

Biggles

mar< wrote: »

We only arranged this a couple of years ago and I'm sure it's the lasting type.

Any PoAs signed before 1 Oct 07 will be the EPA type, from then onwards it would be the LPA. The forms are quite different (EPA 4 or 5 pages on white paper, LPA about 12 pages on light blue background).

If it's the EPA, you can use it without registering it until she shows signs of losing mental capacity. If it's the LPA, you can't use it at all unless it's registered.

elsien

Have they said she needs full time care or residential care? - not neccessarily the same thing.
There may be the option under individualised budgets of your mum going home but having carers going in to stay with her.
Don't presume that social services will give you all the facts and options - they won't. They'll do whatever is cheapest or easiest for them. That may or may not be what's best for your mum, so press them hard on what all the alternatives are.

mar<

Biggles wrote: »

Any PoAs signed before 1 Oct 07 will be the EPA type, from then onwards it would be the LPA. The forms are quite different (EPA 4 or 5 pages on white paper, LPA about 12 pages on light blue background).

If it's the EPA, you can use it without registering it until she shows signs of losing mental capacity. If it's the LPA, you can't use it at all unless it's registered.

It is the LPA

mar<

elsien wrote: »

Have they said she needs full time care or residential care? - not neccessarily the same thing.
There may be the option under individualised budgets of your mum going home but having carers going in to stay with her.
Don't presume that social services will give you all the facts and options - they won't. They'll do whatever is cheapest or easiest for them. That may or may not be what's best for your mum, so press them hard on what all the alternatives are.

I'll check that. Thanks very much for pointing it out.

I did look into a personal carer and the cost wasn't much different for what seems a worse option for my Mum given her isolation. She's always with people where she is and has a team to support her covering many specialties.

elfen

This may seem like a bad thing to some people, but if you Mum is happy where she is, she's better where she is (through contact and people being able to help her with her needs) then maybe it is better off her staying in residential care, but with you trying to get her to stay somewhere near you. Has the insurance company said how long they'd pay for, as this would give you a time frame to get things sorted

Norma_Desmond

My father is in a nursing home with late stage dementia - his condition and behaviour deteriorated so rapidly that decisions were in effect taken out of the family's hands.
That sounds awful but my mother and I were literally going through hell trying to care for him at home (even with all the help we were getting) and I lost count of how many times he fell in the night, tried to rip doors down, phoned the police and shouted abuse at the neighbours! He now has the 24 hour care he so desperately needs - and we can actually sleep at night.
Good luck; it's a terrible time to go through.

mar<

elfen wrote: »

This may seem like a bad thing to some people, but if you Mum is happy where she is, she's better where she is (through contact and people being able to help her with her needs) then maybe it is better off her staying in residential care, but with you trying to get her to stay somewhere near you. Has the insurance company said how long they'd pay for, as this would give you a time frame to get things sorted

The place she's in, that seems as perfect as we could get, is near us. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

The insurance company will pay as long as it takes to repair her house after the fire. We're visiting her house at the weekend to check the work is completed satisfactorily, so their funding could end imminently.

cohentb

Mar<
If your Mum has Health needs it may be worth asking for A Continuing Care Needs Assessment from the local PCT. See other threads on this site. She may also be entitled to a nursing care element to be paid towards her care. With the costs of care being quite high even after selling the house money can run out relatively quickly.
It's good that your Mums happy where she is And I'd try not to move her.