Single and in Debt Part 3- The problem of surplus and excess women

Buffythedebtslayer

sarahb123 wrote: »

I am now beginning to panic about next year, I think it will take me about 3 years of being frugal to even be in a position to buy a house, was actually looking forward to 2010 and seeing how much I could save an how much I could get free or for next to nothing but am getting a bit anxious now. It just feels never ending. I really do need to meet a man. I know that might not go down very well on this thread but it's true:o. Am sick of being on my own. I want to be in a house with 2 incomes. I want to have a baby and I am seriously running out of time on that one. I want to stop worrying. Hmm. Am not being very cheery or festive. I need to make 2010 my year so that at the end of it I can be in a much better position financially, at a normal weight and just feel more in control of my life. I need to stop going overdrawn and eating rubbish and drinking too much. Time to write out my 100 list I think.

Sarah, I hear you. I have had a lovely day today, played computer games, had bath, did all kinds of treatments (am shiny and buffed!!:rotfl:) but I did decide whilst lying in bed this morning that actually I want to be married. I haven't made an effort to get near a bloke for over a year and I do sort of think its not going to happen but actually when I think of all my clse friends with husbands and babies (all apart from two) I don't see why I shouldn't have that. I am lonely and I want to be well, its sounds daft as anything but I want someone to want me, to desire me:o.
I am sick to death of never feeling special, of having people feel sorry for me.

I have a feeling that if we looked back to the thread and our diaries this time last year we would be saying the same sorts of things. But honestly I feel it has to happen now. We cannot mess about.

Do something every day to bring you nearer to you goal Sarah, what ever it is.

((hugs)) xxx

clarabella23

sarah- shall we go out on the pull together?find us some hotties?

Buffythedebtslayer

clarabella23 wrote: »

sarah- shall we go out on the pull together?find us some hotties?

or you could go for the direct approach!:rotfl::rotfl::T:rotfl::rotfl:

Shoe_Gal

Fantastic reply Lula - you always put things so well :A

And sarah - good advice from Lula :rolleyes:

Souk08

Oh dear ladies, looks like we're all feeling a bit flat after Xmas.
Sarah if you want a man this year then go for it, but GO FOR IT as in do something about it, tell friends, do the internet thing whatever, don't sit and think I'd like a man and wait for one to bang on your door lovey. I know you probably think 'I'll just meet someone' but HOW? Is there anyone at work/in your circle of friends/at anything you go to? If not then you must do something different this year to meet someone. I meet lots of single women who are in their 40's who say to me 'Oh I'd never go on the internet' and I just think 'Wait til your 60 and haven't had sex in 15 years then look down your nose at me'! What I think I'm trying to say is that if anything is possible for you with money then surely you can do this too through a bit of planning. Okay you may just nip into Tesco and find George Clooney but it's not likely is it so go get girl. I'm well aware that I'm the odd one for not wanting a man in my life permanently but if you do then you must do something about it. I mean obviously don't go out wearing desperation as a perfume but it's allowed to want whatever you want. Huge hugs and could this be the year of Sarah and ? XXX

eco

Hi Sarah, I'm with Souk in that I don't want someone in my life permanantly part time would be great, but maybe we could help we all have family and friends dotted about the uk, maybe we know someone in your area, as I keep telling the lads at work who complain to me I'm always on the phone talking, it pays to talk, you never know where it will take you.

I agree with you all, I don't know how Lula does it but she always say's the right thing, and a lot of the time I don't.

mu55inthemule

Hey guys,

Hope you all had a lovely christmas, I sure did although a little bored at the parents now!

I am the same at the moment on the whole single thing fed up with it too although being in love with someone you can't have does not help my situation!
The time of year does not help either seems everywhere I look it is loved up couples, however who knows what will happen for us all next year....alot can change in 12 months!

Keep the faith girls! (and boys) xx

sarahb123_3

Lula-Hula wrote: »

It seems to me that you do need to stop worrying about so much & maybe just focus on what you really do want. It may not be possible to get a house by yourself in the next couple of years, & if you find Mr. Right then you wont need to. Maybe you need to stop worrying about money, & food & buying stuff & just be brave, take a big step & decide that finding a man & having a baby is actually what you want most of all & just focus on that.

Seriously Sarah, if that's what niggles at you most then put all your efforts & energies into making sure that need is fulfilled first; above saving money, buying a house or being thinner. The right man will be the one who makes you happy & feel good about yourself, not the one who is looking for Miss WhateversizeyoufeelyoushouldbeinordertoattractMr.Right :rolleyes:

Thanks Lula:A:A:A You always know the exact right thing to say.

It is what I want and to be honest I feel it would solve all my problems in one fell swoop. Maybe it wouldn't but at the moment that is how I feel.

I do not know how I am going to go about it but it is something I will have to do because I feel I have around 3 years max to get it sorted or I will be childless forever and it is not what I want. I need to do something. I need to take some steps in the right direction.

I need to feel better about myself to be honest I think that anyone who would want to be with me at the moment would have to have been misinformed that I am sitting on a secret fortune. :rolleyes:

• I really need to lose weight, I do not feel like myself at the moment, I am sick of catching sight of my reflection accidentally and seeing a fat woman. I am going to do this and have lost almost a third of my target already.
• I will revamp my wardrobe, get rid of all the things I don't need and put in all my nice clothes. Then I will have no choice but to dress nicely all the time. This will necessitate losing at least another stone first.
• I will make more of an effort with my hair and make up, I just do the minimum at the moment and I need to start doing some goddessing.
• I need to say yes to more things and take advantage of any opportunities that come my way.
• I need to eat properly. I must start taking proper care of myself.
• I need to be more positive.
• I need to stop obsessing about having a house, somewhere along the line I will get one.
• I need to accept I hate my job and start looking out for other opportunities.

And 100 other things but they are the ones that spring to mind. I need to accept that my main target for 2010 is to meet someone and to stop saying it and writing it down and thinking about it and cutting out pictures and getting to the end of another year and doing the same thing again. (I will probably still do those things as well though:o)

I am still going to spend 2010 being frugal. I will change my sig to just the £20 challenge as that is all that matters, the savings and ISA are part of that and I only need one total.

So in 2010 I am going to account for every penny and meet a man.:j

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I am sick to death of never feeling special, of having people feel sorry for me.

That is everything I wanted to say a nutshell.

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I have a feeling that if we looked back to the thread and our diaries this time last year we would be saying the same sorts of things. But honestly I feel it has to happen now. We cannot mess about.

Do something every day to bring you nearer to you goal Sarah, what ever it is.

((hugs)) xxx

I know, I feel like a broken record sometimes. But nothing happens until something moves. I keep doing the same thing and I keep getting the same thing.:rolleyes: So changes need to be made. I cannot end next year the way I have ended this one. I feel like an old maid. You are right Buffy, we cannot mess about. I am going to stop whining and do something, because whining hasn't got me very far. :rolleyes:

sarahb123_3

Souk08 wrote: »

Oh dear ladies, looks like we're all feeling a bit flat after Xmas.
Sarah if you want a man this year then go for it, but GO FOR IT as in do something about it, tell friends, do the internet thing whatever, don't sit and think I'd like a man and wait for one to bang on your door lovey. I know you probably think 'I'll just meet someone' but HOW? Is there anyone at work/in your circle of friends/at anything you go to? If not then you must do something different this year to meet someone. I meet lots of single women who are in their 40's who say to me 'Oh I'd never go on the internet' and I just think 'Wait til your 60 and haven't had sex in 15 years then look down your nose at me'! What I think I'm trying to say is that if anything is possible for you with money then surely you can do this too through a bit of planning. Okay you may just nip into Tesco and find George Clooney but it's not likely is it so go get girl. I'm well aware that I'm the odd one for not wanting a man in my life permanently but if you do then you must do something about it. I mean obviously don't go out wearing desperation as a perfume but it's allowed to want whatever you want. Huge hugs and could this be the year of Sarah and ? XXX

Thanks Souk:A You are talking a lot of sense here and I get what you are saying. I certainly wouldn't discount the internet and I don't really want to have no sex for 15 years:eek:. I know I can't keep thinking I'll meet someone and I need to go out there and do it and hopefully I won't smell of desperation and be able to put a name to XXX:D