MSE Parents Club Part 7

Sami_Bee

Feelie that all sounds very controlling to me I'm sure weezl would be able to word it much more eloquently and back up with theories to proove but in her absence.
No matter what you have or haven't done you shouldn't be punished for them! If he thought you crossed a line then he should have left, when your partner does something 'bad' you have to decide to either forgive/forget and move on with them or split and move on without them.
Pretty much everything you listed there is controlling behaviour :undecided and not supportive at all. It sounds like all he does is undermine and belittle you.
do you discuss his behaviour with your therapist peeps? I'm sure they'd be interested if you don't

I think you've mentioned his eating before, is he anorexic? (as that is a control related issue it would make sense)

Sami_Bee

MM thats a bit like me, I found GCSEs a bit easy with doing little work but the a-levels were much harder so I did a bit pants in them
GCSEs were 2 As 3Bs 4Cs and a D (that was 1 mark off a C )
I can't remember what I got in Alevels but I think it was 2Cs(Gen studs and I think biology) a D(maths?) and an E (philosophy)
Although my end grade was E in philosophy I did get and A in one of the modules

searching_me

feelinggood wrote: »

Honestly, I would like your opinion no matter how blunt and brutal it is

I promise not to cry!

if your sure as i say i am very blunt ...

ok ....... are you mad this man is controlling everything you do and you are blaintley unhappy with your relationship .. and be honest can he really be happy if he is questioning every little thing you do there is no trust .. i know everyone has history but a little unnderstanding on his part wouldnt go a miss .. you suffer from depression and despite that you are trying to get sorted and you're doing a brillant job with toby i mean really hat off to you .. but do you really want toby growing up little that seeing how daddy makes mummy feel and thinking its the norm then maybe doing it to his wife when hes older .. you deserve better .. being on your own and only focusing on toby is better then worry if you've upset in my opinon a selfish man ...

i know its easy for me to sit here and say this but i grew up with a mother who stayed with a man even though she was unhappy and i grew up seeing fights (and i mean proper fist fights) and me and my sis and bros doing without just so step dad didnt see the cracks ..

do you want this for toby as it doesnt look like hes willing to do anything to help so its only gonna get worse ..

im now a very strong woman for seeing my mum as weak as she was but i wish even to this day (havent spoken to her in 2 years) i had a mum .. everything is in my name .. from the house to te insurance .. has been since we lived together .. for this reason so if philip was to up and go id be fine .. sometimes though its just waiting for that snap before you realise how long can i live like this .. if not for me then my kids ...

ok thats my peace .. if offends anyone i am happy to delete x

scruffy96uk

Feelie I'll Pm you but it might be this evening. I want to be honest with you but really don't have time to do a big PM just now.

scruffy96uk

SM I just read your last line as I'm happy to debate lol I thought you were up for an argument lol

My_Fathers_Daughter

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Mfd i'd be honest, I'm sure ifbecky thinks it's too harsh she'll editbits out before putting it on the web site

I wasn't going to slate it!! It is just that the chocolate was AWFUL!!! Tasted like really cheap choc which at over £1 per bar is not on! The website is difficult to use too. I will try to be honest but diplomatic and constructive (I do it all the time at work!!)

keelykat wrote: »

I don't know if he seems taller because he's not got much puppy fat on him, he's never had chubby cheeks or anything maybe that's why he looks older?

I really must get him weighed-i tried to weigh him on my scales but hes a fidget!

Keely - I think sometimes people just want something to say about babies so they say 'isn't he big/small/active/content/whatever'. To be fair, unless they see lots of babies of the same age how on earth would they know!! I just ignore them now - I can get 'OMG he is so big' followed by 'he is such a littley' in the space of 5 minutes!!

searching_me

scruffy96uk wrote: »

SM I just read your last line as I'm happy to debate lol I thought you were up for an argument lol

im always up for a debate as well x

SugarSpun

money_maker wrote: »

There are quite a few Irish speaking schools close to the border, but absolutely none where I am. The catholic secondary and grammer schools teach it though, whereas I did french, spanish and latin !!

OOoh, I learned Irish and French. I still speak French but most of the Irish is lost and I find it hard to stay in French when I speak it cause I always accidentally switch to German. I always wanted to learn Latin, very jealous of you :P

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Do you put her ears in the water? Both mine hated being 'sat' in the bath but if you hold them lying dow with ears in the water they suddenly calm - I guess its like being back in the womb for them

Sami_Bee wrote: »

Lol I was an admin'er too, with my a levels in biology maths and philosophy - useful

That's so interesting about their ears - I like my baths so hot you could cook a lobster in it, so I'll try making it hotter for her. And I did philosophy too

SeptemberBaby wrote: »

And a few years ago I looked into training as a nurse but my many qualifications are too out of date to qualify! :eek::rolleyes:. How very dare they!!

How very dare they indeed!

pinkpig08 wrote: »

Morning!
For those of you BFing - did you find that baby didn't put on as much weight/as quickly than bottle fed babies?

The WHO has separate growth charts for BF babies and FF babies, because BF babies tend to gain slower but catch up in the end

weezl74 wrote: »

I find this quite tricky because a lot of people do fund their child's education by paying more on their house price to live in a catchment area of a good school. In Cardiff this is currently a 100,000 house price difference. That's a lot of years of school fees! Plus you are paying huge amounts of interest when this is on a mortgage. And you are contributing to the profits of a bank, rather than helping to pay teacher's wages

I hadn't thought of that Weezl - 14 years of private school wouldn't cost £100 000 plus mortgage interest :eek: I went to an independent school and although I wasn't good with the amount of regulations involved I did pretty well and I'm glad as an adult that my parents found the money to send me there, although I was quite resentful as a small one.

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Andrew's oxygen requirements came down again and, when I left, he was breathing just air :j :j :j Just phoned, and he's still going! Three cupfeeds overnight without needing O2, he's doing just fantastic. Maybe home soon?

Awesome!

feelinggood wrote: »

Sugar - Are you okay? Saw your post yesterday about pumping, sorry it isn't going how you'd like. If you want any tips, I can find my list if you want?

Thanks feelie, I'm ok. I notice that I get miserable late in the evening so now I've noticed I'll hopefully be able to stop it. The list would be good if you don't mind

How are you doing?

feelinggood wrote: »

When I'm well, all is fine. When I'm ill, things are quite bad.....

if I'm upset/sad, he says that he can't cope and will quit his job or smoke if I don't change
tells me to pretend to be fine

I'm not going to get into my opinion because I suspect I'll be excessively brutal and I have to take Molly out before she tantrums into oblivion, but this isn't a healthy situation my dear and I hope it gets better for you. You should never be made to feel bad or guilty because of the way you feel.

r.mac:rotfl:I was in university for ten years - I've had three "real jobs" and other than that just part time stuff to pay bills while I was studying. I'd like to work less ATM to spend more time at home, but this is my last Monday off work

Fitzio, Nandos is child-friendly and you'll be fine. If LO cries they're well used to it. Enjoy!

Sami, hope Edgar's ok

Had more to say but now very late for meeting friend

money_maker_3

feelie, you OK ??

searching_me

sorry feelie .. i didnt mean to upset you but you asked ... i can delete if you want me to x