neediness :(

consultant31

Blimey Jessybee :eek: The one good thing in your last post here is that you recognise that you were behaving like a bunny-boiler!

I started out feeling really sorry for you, because I was always intensly needy when I was younger. But your actions on Saturday are not the reaction of a normal, healthy person (I'm sorry to be harsh).

If the roles were reversed and it was a man hammering on the door of a young woman, then standing with an ear to the door listening to a private conversation, people would say he was stalking her, and it's likely the police would have been called.

If he owes you money, get a solicitor's letter sent or at least threaten one.

You need to stand back and learn from this experience before you get into another relationship. I would recommend counselling.

myothercarisaferrari

I agree with consultant on this x

seven-day-weekend

myothercarisaferrari wrote: »

I agree with consultant on this x

So do I. .....

Errata

I started out feeling really sorry for you, because I was always intensly needy when I was younger. But your actions on Saturday are not the reaction of a normal, healthy person (I'm sorry to be harsh).

Everyone loses the plot at some point in their lives and does something that others would disapprove of. I certainly have.

frames1_uk

I've read this thread with interest. Thanks to OP for being so honest about stuff, also thanks to other contributors for their input, makes for excellent reading.

jessybee

I knew my actions were bang out of order.. but i was acting on heightend emotions... i just desperately needed answers.. i am already punishing myself for losing my dignity for that night.. a 15 month relationship ended in the most harshest, pathetic way ever. I am 20 and id already based him as being "the one" god id never go for his type ever again.. I thought he was a real impressive "bad boy" dabbling with drugs and fighting ever so often.. i know i do myself no justice in admiting this but i felt really drawn to him - he was only lookin out for number 1 in the end.

Fork86

jessybee wrote: »

I knew my actions were bang out of order.. but i was acting on heightend emotions... i just desperately needed answers.. i am already punishing myself for losing my dignity for that night.. a 15 month relationship ended in the most harshest, pathetic way ever. I am 20 and id already based him as being "the one" god id never go for his type ever again.. I thought he was a real impressive "bad boy" dabbling with drugs and fighting ever so often.. i know i do myself no justice in admiting this but i felt really drawn to him - he was only lookin out for number 1 in the end.

99% of people aged 20 don't have all the answers from the off, so don't put yourself down too much. Just be glad you didn't have a longer relationship or any children with this degenerate. Occasional fighting and drug use are usually the start of a downward spiral. I'm glad you're shot of him.

londoner1998

jessybee wrote: »

I knew my actions were bang out of order.. but i was acting on heightend emotions... i just desperately needed answers.. i am already punishing myself for losing my dignity for that night.. a 15 month relationship ended in the most harshest, pathetic way ever. I am 20 and id already based him as being "the one" god id never go for his type ever again.. I thought he was a real impressive "bad boy" dabbling with drugs and fighting ever so often.. i know i do myself no justice in admiting this but i felt really drawn to him - he was only lookin out for number 1 in the end.

Did you date my ex? They soudn like they could be the same people...:eek:Listen, don't beat yourself up- is over and thank God for that. Now is time to take care of yourself. Having been in an almost indentical situation, I think those feelings of anxiety and insecurity could well be your own inner compass telling you something was wrong... you needed answers and went there to get them. A lot of people spend a lifetime telling lies to themselves. I agree that this kind of behaviour borders on obsession (as I said, I have been there myself and the lack of control is absolutely unbearable), but so do many others. You are only 20, I was 25!

Look at the positives- you were with a liar and a sc*mbag who doesn't even have the decency to face you and tell you to your face he doesn't want to see you. Now you are free. Take your time to get over this trauma and don't hurry on to the next guy. He will come when you are ready. Go out, meet friends and go on holiday. When you are ready, start looking at why you are attracted to the 'bad boys'. If you don't make mistakes, you are not living. Be kind to yourself, you had a lucky escape. ((((((()))))))))))))) (Hugs)

seven-day-weekend

jessybee wrote: »

I knew my actions were bang out of order.. but i was acting on heightend emotions... i just desperately needed answers.. i am already punishing myself for losing my dignity for that night.. a 15 month relationship ended in the most harshest, pathetic way ever. I am 20 and id already based him as being "the one" god id never go for his type ever again.. I thought he was a real impressive "bad boy" dabbling with drugs and fighting ever so often.. i know i do myself no justice in admiting this but i felt really drawn to him - he was only lookin out for number 1 in the end.

Don't worry.....I had a 'bad boy' boyfriend too and got engaged to him when I was 17.:o:eek: Happens to many of us.

I've now been married for 38 years to the lovely guy I fell in love with when I was 21!