October 2010 brides (and grooms!)

shellsuit

magicgirl wrote: »

shellsuit, i totaly get how you feel but one thing (and please dont take this the wrong way) you may also need to consider is however much you dislike them, it is still his parents. it is also supposed to be the happiest day of HIS life and if he feels he wants his parents there, is it really fair to deny him that? My inlaws are so different to me and their ways i find shocking sometimes. but i also know my h2b feels same about mine. he was taking about banning mine cos they wouldn't offer any help with the wedding and he expected them to despite the fact he wouldn't dream of asking from his. i know this is an extreme example but its just to give some context. i have totally different view to h2b and would rather have eloped without both sets of parents than invite one and not the other (both ways round in my position.. not just mine) but thankfully we were able to work it out. my parents are paying close to half of our costs and my h2b still thinks that is not enough but my parents have been reluctant to offer anyting cos they feel he is a money grabber and generally, he is so not, he is just old fashioned about some things (although fine about having kids out of wedlock. haha. ) perhaps it is something as simple as that wth your in laws, perhaps it is more but one thing i have learned is however bad we feel they are, if its what the OH has always known, they may not see what we do?! i hope that makes sense and doesn't make you feel any worse than you already do. photoshop is a brill tool you know.

No it's not fair to deny him that, that's why I'm posting this to get it all off my chest.

I want to want them there, but I just can't picture a happy day with them sat there.

There is so much history and sooo many horrid and disgusting things they have done that I really honestly would rather cancel the whole wedding.

OH's brother ended up being sectioned a few years ago and me and OH seriously think it was because he was being controlled in every little bit of his life by his Dad.

As soon as OH's bro moved out, he went to Uni and now he has a cracking job and lives miles away on his own!

One time I met them and OH's bro was there, his Dad was talking to OH and OH's bro was trying to talk to me ~ and his Dad slapped him and told him to shut up :mad::mad: What normal person would do that and would do it in front of company????

When I met OH, he was a carer for his Nan who was dying of cancer.

He wasn't in the will, but anyway, OH's Dad got about 50K, his brother got about 30K and OH never got a penny.

He was promised money and a car for looking after his Nan (he was only 21 then and came out of work to care for her) and got nothing.

He got nothing because he was with me. I was older than OH with kids so of course I must have been a gold digger :mad:

Yet, they are in financial difficulties now and OH isn't ~ go figure!

He's called my kids (I have3, 2 aren't OH's) snotty nosed brats in the past when he has never clapped eyes on them before!

I've loaned him £300 with the promise it would be back with me in a month. Over 3 months it took to get back and I didn't even get a thank you for lending it to him.

So there's just a few things out of many which he has done.


OH doesn't want him there himself, he just feels he should be there because he's his Dad. It's not his Mum btw, it's his stepmum, his real mum died when he was young.

frannyann

Shell, do we have the same in-laws to be??? Totally understand where you are coming from. Its so sad that my OH wants to cancel the wedding and just run away, he is so worried about his dad being a git on the day!

frannyann

PS thanks for the slap, have sorted flowers, getting them from Ebay from the 'Find my shoes' thread!!

shellsuit

frannyann wrote: »

PS thanks for the slap, have sorted flowers, getting them from Ebay from the 'Find my shoes' thread!!

I saw them, they are absolutely gorgeous!! If I have a bit of spare money, I may get some myself, but have baby pink instead of the green! x

frannyann wrote: »

Shell, do we have the same in-laws to be??? Totally understand where you are coming from. Its so sad that my OH wants to cancel the wedding and just run away, he is so worried about his dad being a git on the day!

Parents eh! Well, sh!tty one anyway, they make me :mad::mad::mad:

I'm gonna have to bite my tongue on this one aren't I, for OH's sake.

I feel soooo sorry for him, he knows his Dad is a !!!!!!, but I know he loves him cos he's his Dad.

One thing though, if they do come, we won't be having karaoke, no way. OH really really wants it, but his Dad thinks he's the bees knees at singing and I would rather stand in the middle of the dance floor naked apart from my tiara, then have to listen to him.

I just don't understand why THEY would want to even come. If they don't bother with us, don't know me, don't know my family and don't even know their only grandchild, why on earth would they want to be there??

Odd.

Very odd.

I hope your OH will be OK, it's not good when you're meant to be sooo looking forward to something, but filled with dread at the same time ~ he has my sympathy! xx

frannyann

shellsuit wrote: »

I saw them, they are absolutely gorgeous!! If I have a bit of spare money, I may get some myself, but have baby pink instead of the green! x

I am getting lvory with wine! She is just working out a quote with P&P for me!!

shellsuit wrote: »

Parents eh! Well, sh!tty one anyway, they make me :mad::mad::mad:

I'm gonna have to bite my tongue on this one aren't I, for OH's sake.

I feel soooo sorry for him, he knows his Dad is a !!!!!!, but I know he loves him cos he's his Dad.

One thing though, if they do come, we won't be having karaoke, no way. OH really really wants it, but his Dad thinks he's the bees knees at singing and I would rather stand in the middle of the dance floor naked apart from my tiara, then have to listen to him.

I just don't understand why THEY would want to even come. If they don't bother with us, don't know me, don't know my family and don't even know their only grandchild, why on earth would they want to be there??

Odd.

Very odd.

I hope your OH will be OK, it's not good when you're meant to be sooo looking forward to something, but filled with dread at the same time ~ he has my sympathy! xx

Yep, same here, his dad is such a bully and a git, I don't know why they even want to come. Especially as I am a 'Posh cow' apparently!!

hunnycat

frannyann wrote: »

PS thanks for the slap, have sorted flowers, getting them from Ebay from the 'Find my shoes' thread!!

franny did you use the seller you gave me the details for?

She has just emailed to say my next 2 are ready and set up the listing for me to pay then she will send them

i cant thank you enough for finding her as i was searching for ages.

Shell i am sorry to hear of your stress.x

bigmomma051204

Hello... which flower person on Ebay are u lot on about? I can't remember who i used and need more lol!!

chelbel1981

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Hello... which flower person on Ebay are u lot on about? I can't remember who i used and need more lol!!

This one I think

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/FLOWERS-BY-SHARELL

hunnycat

chelbel1981 wrote: »

This one I think

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/FLOWERS-BY-SHARELL

thats the one i used

shellsuit

Thanks girls, you've all cheered me up ~ it's nice to know someone will listen even if it's in the middle of a thread, didn't want to start a new one and highlight it even further lol!

And thanks for the link for that flower seller!

At the moment I'm making my own but if I have the cash I may just buy from them.

And I may be going to see and buy a wedding dress on Sunday! I'll tell you all and show you some pics if I do! xxx