The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

jo1972

PBT (nice to see you again ), you will enjoy This Charming Man, there's a character in it that I can totally relate to, won't spoil it, but you'll know who I mean when you get to her :rolleyes:

69chick, well done on staying AF and good luck with all the stuff you've got to do. My DD2 has been scratching and scratching her head for weeks and I've been checking every day for visitors but nothing's turning up

yellowmonkey

Morning all

Big test for me today.

I am decorating the back porch and have the whole house to myself all day and will not need to go out at all.

Unless........................


















As I used to do I would pop out and buy 12 cans and, knowing, I did not have to drive would have the first one about 12 ish and then drink the lot in a day. Must admit the bells are ringing a tad so will have to keep busy and do some filling and pop on here now and again

I Hope not to drink today :rolleyes:

jo1972

Forget live for the day, live by the hour or minute if you have to, the anticipation is the thing that's causing the craving, nothing bad will happen to you if you ignore it. xx

yellowmonkey

Thanks Jo

Dont know if I have the energy for a ring pull ATM.

Brought myself a new tube of filler. Easy to apply but they forgot to mention that you have to massage the 8 inch tube with your hand before any thing will come out

Worn out now :rolleyes:

Off for some green tea I think

jo1972

Yeah, it is exhausting YM

Pippilongstocking

Morning all - YM be strong if you can be, hiya Jo well done on 28 days :j

fayjmck wrote: »

I can understand your dilema - there's a stashed an open half bottle of something at OH's which (whilst not normal behaviour I meant to dump it when I was down yesterday - its from a secret stash long ago) is not going to be easy to explain when the kitchen gets demolished over the next couple weeks for the new one to be put in.

I am thinking of asking my chum to pop in and to move it quietly and take it home - or dump it - claiming it might have fallen out of the baking box which was previously in that cupboard but I might just confess to her as she knows I've been giving up.

Onwards, as long as its not drunk by me I don't care what fate it has.

Been thinking since writing this - when did I start stashing stuff etc - that sounds dreadful. Well to be honest it started slowly........... with replacing wine in the fridge when I accidentally drank the lot.

Then I'd have a bottle of wine for company and an extra one just in case I wanted more when they'd gone.

But only since giving up (or trying to) has it got to the stage where there are bottles stashed away rahter than in the open where they used to be (I don't like drinking openly now) and if I ever do drink openly no one sees the real amount I drink. Unless we are out socially in which case I don't like drinking in public and will only have one (usually).

Its wierd the progression from the 'social' drinking to the secretive behaviourI exhibit on occasion now and the public face I put on it.

Guess that's addiction for you - I like reading the book 'Living Sober' I have issues (with myself) with the aspect of reading that we can be 'predisposed' to addictions I know its true of many folks for many things and I accept that. I like the discussion with food allergies being relevant to alcohol and the disucssion on progressive diseases

But - I don't know why it doesnt sit well with me in my own head? Do I just want to give myself a hard time for being weakwilled regarding alcohol or am I just in denial about how powerful this stuff is?

Excuse the ramblings, I know I have an addictive/extreme type of personality and a control freak - both effect lots of aspects of my life - the alcohol addicted bit of my personality just baffles me. It could be genetic ? my father was an alcoholic - so why is it me and not my siblings? Most of them dont really drink......

Ramble over!

jo1972

fayjmck wrote: »

it started slowly........... with replacing wine in the fridge when I accidentally drank the lot.

Then I'd have a bottle of wine for company and an extra one just in case I wanted more when they'd gone.

But only since giving up (or trying to) has it got to the stage where there are bottles stashed away rahter than in the open where they used to be (I don't like drinking openly now) and if I ever do drink openly no one sees the real amount I drink. Unless we are out socially in which case I don't like drinking in public and will only have one (usually).

Its wierd the progression from the 'social' drinking to the secretive behaviourI exhibit on occasion now and the public face I put on it.

Snap!

Even when I went out drinking socially I felt as though I was doing something wrong, even though drinking in a pub socially is a 'normal' thing to do.....not for me though, makes me feel naughty

paybacktime2008

In the last year two of my relatives have died from alcohol related problems. Both were alcoholics. Neither of them drank socially, even at events like weddings etc, they would stick to soft drinks. One used to lose weeks at a time knocking back bottles of brandy, the other scotch. I think they knew that if they started drinking at such events they wouldnt be able to stop.

I know if i had alcohol in the house now i would drink it tonight. Simple as that. Therefore I believe I am an alcoholic as i cannot control my drinking so I have taken the choice to abstain.

glasgowgirl

fayjmck wrote: »

I know I have an addictive/extreme type of personality and a control freak

The control freak part is maybe what puzzles me the most. I am definitely a control freak - so why did I constantly put myself in a position of being completely out of control through alcohol?

When I drink, I blackout and completely lose all control in a way that none of my friends seem to feel the need to do.

It's odd - 2 real extremes...

xx

graemecarter

fayjmck wrote: »

Morning all - YM be strong if you can be, hiya Jo well done on 28 days :j



Been thinking since writing this - when did I start stashing stuff etc - that sounds dreadful. Well to be honest it started slowly........... with replacing wine in the fridge when I accidentally drank the lot.

Then I'd have a bottle of wine for company and an extra one just in case I wanted more when they'd gone.

But only since giving up (or trying to) has it got to the stage where there are bottles stashed away rahter than in the open where they used to be (I don't like drinking openly now) and if I ever do drink openly no one sees the real amount I drink. Unless we are out socially in which case I don't like drinking in public and will only have one (usually).

Its wierd the progression from the 'social' drinking to the secretive behaviourI exhibit on occasion now and the public face I put on it.

Guess that's addiction for you - I like reading the book 'Living Sober' I have issues (with myself) with the aspect of reading that we can be 'predisposed' to addictions I know its true of many folks for many things and I accept that. I like the discussion with food allergies being relevant to alcohol and the disucssion on progressive diseases

But - I don't know why it doesnt sit well with me in my own head? Do I just want to give myself a hard time for being weakwilled regarding alcohol or am I just in denial about how powerful this stuff is?

Excuse the ramblings, I know I have an addictive/extreme type of personality and a control freak - both effect lots of aspects of my life - the alcohol addicted bit of my personality just baffles me. It could be genetic ? my father was an alcoholic - so why is it me and not my siblings? Most of them dont really drink......

Ramble over!

I believe I am alcoholic if I pick up a drink or not.
I suffer from the disease of alcoholism (and my brother doesn't, nor my parents). This disease/malady/allergy/whatever means I have a propensity to drink alcohol to excess, but most importantly explains how I think and how I feel.
The ALCOHOL is in the bottle, the ISM is within me. Thus I suffer ALCOHOLISM. The ISM will always be in me, but as long as I do certain things, then I can leave the alcohol in the bottle.

I never wanted to admit to myself I was an alcoholic - I resisted for years, even though the evidence was plain to see.
I am alcoholic, of course I am going to want to drink, and do everything in my power to resist giving up drinking. Thus denial. People will deny they are alcoholic on their deathbeds. Remember Tangochick's post:-

Hi,
My husband died last friday, aged 40 leaving me (his wife) and his 2 children under 5.
He was a kind & loving man, until last year he was a wonderful husband and daddy.
I dont know exactly when his drinking got out of hand, he hid it well. I would say only 18months to 2 years ago, although we've both always liked a drink.
He was unlucky, his body couldnt handle it, he was built like a rugby player & was strong, he never got ill, if anyone could handle it- people thought he could.

Alcoholism is a shocking illness & i am sorry it affects so many people.
I knew nothing about it until last year & was so ignorant, i didnt understand why my husband couldnt just stop.
His biggest problem was denial, he convinced himself that he was fine, not even taking notice of doctors. He hadnt really accepted that he had a problem, even tho blood tests & liver specialist had said he should stop.

Who knows if my alcoholism is genetic - it doesn't matter. What matters is that I admit I am alcoholic, and I do something about it.
All I know is that if someone is addicted to alcohol, they are most probably alcoholic.