The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

mrsdee

PS 10 for me please GG and will be AF tonight as am driving. Like someone said earlier, seeing what I have to do tomorrow, also makes me certain that I cannot have a drink tonight.

maman

Just called in to catch up. Had a great time yesterday, not AF but restrained. Very thought provoking posts on here today. YM, hope DIY has gone well today? Planning AF tonight. Have a good evening everyone.

honeybear_2

I was catching up on here on my phone earlier and have been pondering this thread for the rest of the day.

Reading some of the posts is a humbling experiance. Some people on here have a terrible alcohol-related experiences. Some people on here are alcoholics. To go through that and to be able to admit it and deal with it must be so harrowing and I really feel for every single one of you. I also applaud you loudly for having the courage to face up to it and deal with it.

As a "cutter-downer" I sometimes feel like I don't belong here and that I'm in the wrong place. I'm not, as anyone who was drinking a bottle of wine a night most nights has a problem. However my relationship with alcohol is different.

All this has helped me to clarify my aims as regards drinking. I may start recording units rather than AFDs at some point. In the meantime my aims are:

• to have AF evenings (note the plural!) every week and to enjoy them
• to not pour another glass of wine just because it's there
• to not go out for another bottle just because i've finished one

I have bought a bottle of wine this evening and will probably have a drink. This may sound contradictory to the above. I guess the point I'm trying to get to overall is enjoying wine when I have it and it not being a big deal when I don't.

paybacktime2008

I was a cutter downer too;)

honeybear wrote: »

I was catching up on here on my phone earlier and have been pondering this thread for the rest of the day.

Reading some of the posts is a humbling experiance. Some people on here have a terrible alcohol-related experiences. Some people on here are alcoholics. To go through that and to be able to admit it and deal with it must be so harrowing and I really feel for every single one of you. I also applaud you loudly for having the courage to face up to it and deal with it.

As a "cutter-downer" I sometimes feel like I don't belong here and that I'm in the wrong place. I'm not, as anyone who was drinking a bottle of wine a night most nights has a problem. However my relationship with alcohol is different.


All this has helped me to clarify my aims as regards drinking. I may start recording units rather than AFDs at some point. In the meantime my aims are:

• to have AF evenings (note the plural!) every week and to enjoy them
• to not pour another glass of wine just because it's there
• to not go out for another bottle just because i've finished one

I have bought a bottle of wine this evening and will probably have a drink. This may sound contradictory to the above. I guess the point I'm trying to get to overall is enjoying wine when I have it and it not being a big deal when I don't.

honeybear_2

Obviously the fact I did get to that stage of drinking is something I need to keep an eye on from now on.

Marru

Good evening,

Thought provoking posts indeed today.

I wanted to stop drinking when I realised I was drinking for wrong reasons and went through a phase when I was angry with myself when reading posts of cutter downers and tried to convince myself that I could do that. But then the whole point for me being here would have been dismissed i.e. still drinking for wrong reasons even if doing less of it. I had to remind myself that the rules were mine and that I had made them for a reason.

The funny thing is that when faced with situation where I could have a drink "for the right reasons" I don't really want/need it. So I better not have drink at all. And it seems to be working as in the past on the evening like yesterday I would not have stayed AF and this time it wasn't too difficult.

Anyhooo, interesting programme on tonight:
Brought up by Booze: A Children in Need Special

Wednesday 11 November

10:45pm - 11:50pm
BBC1

I don't think I will be up to watch it but will have a look tomorrow on iplayer.

GG please can I have 11

honeybear_2

Changing the subject completely, my heating is making some very strange noises :eek:

*Mari*

I am so glad I logged on tonight. Those posts are really thought provoking. Some of them echo how I have been feeling/thinking recently.

I have had a strange few days neither of which have been alcohol free, you see I have been doing my upmost to sabotage myself. Last night when I eventually got home after a very long and stressful day, I made a cup of tea, then I thought sod it you deserve a glass of wine, you’ve worked hard, it’ll make you feel better. So I did. It tasted awful, but I drank it. Then I felt awful. My daughter said she thought I wasn’t drinking today, my oh called (he’s away) she said, oh you were right dad she’s got no will power had a glass as soon as she got in. That made me feel even better! So Once again I’d broken my promises to them (and to you lot) But then I thought about the promise I’d made to me, and that made me cry. I can’t even keep a promise to myself to not drink for one day. I lie about drinking, I hide alcohol, I spend money we haven’t got replacing it...it has to stop.

So today, I’m back here needing your support, I won’t drink today and tomorrow I will start this process all over again.

Sorry for the long incoherent ramble, had to say it to someone and am so glad to have found you lot otherwise I can’t imagine the state I’d be in.

I hope everyone is safe, and where they want to be on their journey tonight.

Mari xx

gien

Marru, thanks for the heads up for the TV programme - I suspect it will be quite harrowing but I'll record it anyway.

Honeybear, it's a good point you make about the units as well as AF days. It is so easy to drink far in excess of the recommended units of alcohol. For a woman it's only two units a day, which is barely a largish glass of wine when so many wines are 13-14%.
I'm really conscious of the damage that excess alcohol has been doing to my body, what he long term effects will be and how I can keep drinking under control to minimise those risks.
Of course, there's also the psychological/dependency side to deal with too but the thought that I am just pickling myself is really getting to me.

So, still no booze tonight, not going to.

Mari, just read your post and know exactly how you feel. When we let ourselves down it is the most painful thing because we cannot hide from our inner self and that inner self is a hard judge
Come sit next to me on the wagon and I'll hold your hand on the bumpy bits.

Pippilongstocking

honeybear wrote: »

I was catching up on here on my phone earlier and have been pondering this thread for the rest of the day.

Reading some of the posts is a humbling experiance. Some people on here have a terrible alcohol-related experiences. Some people on here are alcoholics. To go through that and to be able to admit it and deal with it must be so harrowing and I really feel for every single one of you. I also applaud you loudly for having the courage to face up to it and deal with it.

As a "cutter-downer" I sometimes feel like I don't belong here and that I'm in the wrong place. I'm not, as anyone who was drinking a bottle of wine a night most nights has a problem. However my relationship with alcohol is different.


All this has helped me to clarify my aims as regards drinking. I may start recording units rather than AFDs at some point. In the meantime my aims are:

• to have AF evenings (note the plural!) every week and to enjoy them
• to not pour another glass of wine just because it's there
• to not go out for another bottle just because i've finished one

I have bought a bottle of wine this evening and will probably have a drink. This may sound contradictory to the above. I guess the point I'm trying to get to overall is enjoying wine when I have it and it not being a big deal when I don't.

You are definately in the right place - thanks for the lovely post many folks are cutting down or givng up or abstaining or whatever


Remember.......'Two paths diverged in the forest............... and I took the less travelled path and that has made all the difference.'

Its a journey for all of us and each of us is unique.........:D

Especially me!!!!!

This is me taking my own road