The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

graemecarter

paybacktime2008 wrote: »

In the last year two of my relatives have died from alcohol related problems. Both were alcoholics. Neither of them drank socially, even at events like weddings etc, they would stick to soft drinks. One used to lose weeks at a time knocking back bottles of brandy, the other scotch. I think they knew that if they started drinking at such events they wouldnt be able to stop.

I know if i had alcohol in the house now i would drink it tonight. Simple as that. Therefore I believe I am an alcoholic as i cannot control my drinking so I have taken the choice to abstain.

Good for you - this disease kills so many people. And the amazing thing is that it tells you you haven't got it, that your drinking could be brought under control if you really wanted it to. Well, I don't fall for that any more. I need to admit and accept I am alcoholic, and then talk to people. Alcoholism is kept at bay in me by connecting with people and conversation mostly

graemecarter

glasgowgirl wrote: »

The control freak part is maybe what puzzles me the most. I am definitely a control freak

me too, so many of my alkie friends are as well!!

- so why did I constantly put myself in a position of being completely out of control through alcohol?

Don't know about you, but for me and many others this is alcoholism. Irrational, unexplainable, the fact it doesn't 'fit' with the rest of your life.
Thus I believe it is a disease I have now

When I drink, I blackout and completely lose all control in a way that none of my friends seem to feel the need to do.

Me too - a lot of drinking throughout the years led to blackouts. For me, this is another sign that I am defo an alcoholic

biglass

Hi,all ! I am just posting a wee update on myself to say I have been alcohol free now for 8 weeks and I cannot remember the last time I felt so good and so positive about life,I was even drunk halfway thru my lovely wedding day 11 years ago! I got a fright- a gastric bleed brought on by bingeing on wine and it really focused me,I can tell you! The thought of me being a wreck for any more of my kids lives was finally too dreadful to drink anymore. And yesterday,standing at the sink ,I finally realised I am an alcoholic. Because I managed to "function " in society,I did not consider myself to be alcoholic. But being free of it has utterly changed everything for me. I feel so much more capable,happy,positive and even tempered- life truly has changed! And I love going to bed sober,it is so unbelievably good.
I worried too in case my relationship with OH would change- would I be boring,no longer "fun"? My God ,how deluded I was- everything in life is just so much easier! I realise now I thought drinking helped my stress levels when in fact it made it SO much worse.
So good luck to you all (specially Jo)truly it is so worth it and thankyou all as this thread has been a great support !

paybacktime2008

paybacktime2008 wrote: »

In the last year two of my relatives have died from alcohol related problems. Both were alcoholics. Neither of them drank socially, even at events like weddings etc, they would stick to soft drinks. One used to lose weeks at a time knocking back bottles of brandy, the other scotch. I think they knew that if they started drinking at such events they wouldnt be able to stop.

I know if i had alcohol in the house now i would drink it tonight. Simple as that. Therefore I believe I am an alcoholic as i cannot control my drinking so I have taken the choice to abstain.

First time i've ever admitted that 'out loud'. It's a bit like the debt lightbulb it flickers for a while before it shines brightly. It's actually quite empowering to actually admit it! Must say a huge thanks to GC and others for all their contributions. Early days yet but, for me, abstinance is the way forward.

yellowmonkey

paybacktime2008 wrote: »

First time i've ever admitted that 'out loud'. It's a bit like the debt lightbulb it flickers for a while before it shines brightly. It's actually quite empowering to actually admit it! Must say a huge thanks to GC and others for all their contributions. Early days yet but, for me, abstinance is the way forward.

Well done PTB :T:T:T

biglass wrote: »

Hi,all ! I am just posting a wee update on myself to say I have been alcohol free now for 8 weeks and I cannot remember the last time I felt so good and so positive about life,I was even drunk halfway thru my lovely wedding day 11 years ago! I got a fright- a gastric bleed brought on by bingeing on wine and it really focused me,I can tell you! The thought of me being a wreck for any more of my kids lives was finally too dreadful to drink anymore. And yesterday,standing at the sink ,I finally realised I am an alcoholic. Because I managed to "function " in society,I did not consider myself to be alcoholic. But being free of it has utterly changed everything for me. I feel so much more capable,happy,positive and even tempered- life truly has changed! And I love going to bed sober,it is so unbelievably good.
I worried too in case my relationship with OH would change- would I be boring,no longer "fun"? My God ,how deluded I was- everything in life is just so much easier! I realise now I thought drinking helped my stress levels when in fact it made it SO much worse.
So good luck to you all (specially Jo)truly it is so worth it and thankyou all as this thread has been a great support !

Wow. Thanks for that post.....That has certainly banished the bells for me :T:T

gien

Well, some fantastic posts there, GC, PBT, Fay, GG. Really thought provoking.

I wonder if sometimes the control freak side of our nature sometimes is only gotten rid of through drink. When we drink it 'allows' us to be out of control, 'allows' us to let our hair down. When we get tired of being uptight over our controlling nature, rather than ask how we can change our attitude we just get hammered and go a bit mad.

Biglass, that is a truely inspirational post - amazing after 8 short weeks. Well done.
yellow Monkey, get them bells gone - hope you are still AF but with a lot of new paint around.
I am not drinking today. My DH is out of town for a few days and I cannot cope with children on my own and drink - just not possible.

RecoveringAlcoholic

Some challenging and honest posts today.

I don't keep alcohol in the house as I know that a fcuk it moment would probably lead to four emergency services being involved. Police, Fire, Ambulance and Coastguards!

Remember that we deal with alcohol,

cunning, baffling, powerful!

mollypolly

graemecarter wrote: »

Alcoholism is kept at bay in me by connecting with people and conversation mostly

The conversation that keeps my alcoholism at bay happened with my DD2 about a year after I stopped drinking.She said one little sentence that has stuck with me ever since and it always comes to mind when I feel my resolve slipping.

She said..."You have passed the worst and I Know I will never see you drink again"

This seemed such an inocuous statement at the time but it possibly saves my life everyday....if she believes then I must prove it.

Good luck on your journeys people.....

Take care of you
Love Mollypollyxxxx

mrsdee

biglass wrote: »

Hi,all ! I am just posting a wee update on myself to say I have been alcohol free now for 8 weeks and I cannot remember the last time I felt so good and so positive about life,I was even drunk halfway thru my lovely wedding day 11 years ago! I got a fright- a gastric bleed brought on by bingeing on wine and it really focused me,I can tell you! The thought of me being a wreck for any more of my kids lives was finally too dreadful to drink anymore. And yesterday,standing at the sink ,I finally realised I am an alcoholic. Because I managed to "function " in society,I did not consider myself to be alcoholic. But being free of it has utterly changed everything for me. I feel so much more capable,happy,positive and even tempered- life truly has changed! And I love going to bed sober,it is so unbelievably good.
I worried too in case my relationship with OH would change- would I be boring,no longer "fun"? My God ,how deluded I was- everything in life is just so much easier! I realise now I thought drinking helped my stress levels when in fact it made it SO much worse.
So good luck to you all (specially Jo)truly it is so worth it and thankyou all as this thread has been a great support !

Thank you for writing those thoughts down. I felt like it was me speaking. Everything you say is EXACTLY the same way that I feel!! Bravo.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Wow, thanks for all the honest and thought provoking posts on here. I popped in to catch up and am really glad I did. You lot are profound.

Off to find some food now. Tonight I'll be drinking anything without alcohol.