The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

graemecarter

ineedtokickthehabbit wrote: »

Thank you again for the welcome. I want to start my AF today, I have had a heavy weekend of drinking and am really feeling the effects of it today. I want to try and get to the stage when I can just enjoy a few glases of wine at the weekend, and not have the dependency that I have right now.

I am a secret drinker some of the time, but I must realise the only person I am kidding is myself.

Any tips for getting started would be much appreciated.

Thanks

I am not the person for tips on cutting down. My attempts on reducing my drinking were all failures. I tried with the best intentions to cut down, but after a while my 'rules' (such as beer only, no drinking after 9pm, only drinking weekends, no more than 4 drinks, etc) went out of the window. And then I felt even lower than before as I was miserable when moderating, and then miserable when drinking as I couldn't moderate!!

So I went AF, and that works for me.
If moderation doesn't prove successful, I recommend being alcohol free.
I crossed that line early on in my drinking, so in reality there was never a chance of me being a moderate drinker!!.

Good luck anyway

winebox

Hi all - sorry went awol again - emphatically NOT an af weekend but it was huge fun (total abstainers look away now), OH & I very rarely go out of an evening but we went to a pub gig Sat night (boozy, but not "messy"!) & then DD was away for yesterday afternoon so I got to go to the lunchtime pub session with the lads which was brilliant! Overall didn't drink any more than when we sit at home in front of the telly, in fact much less yesterday cos I was designated driver. For me this is drinking as it should be - sociable & fun.

As I'm home alone tonight my rules say must be af!

XF & strictly are "strictly" verboten chez wb, but I like Doc Martin. I was reading a review in The Telegraph about it, & you know the policeman who keeps falling asleep & is therefore "narcoleptic"? The article I was reading said "the local bobby is necrophiliac". Cosy Sunday evening viewing......

graemecarter

winebox wrote: »

Hi all - sorry went awol again - emphatically NOT an af weekend but it was huge fun (total abstainers look away now), OH & I very rarely go out of an evening but we went to a pub gig Sat night (boozy, but not "messy"!) & then DD was away for yesterday afternoon so I got to go to the lunchtime pub session with the lads which was brilliant! Overall didn't drink any more than when we sit at home in front of the telly, in fact much less yesterday cos I was designated driver. For me this is drinking as it should be - sociable & fun.

Glad you had a good weekend. For most people alcohol IS fun and sociable, it just isn't when it is inside me!! I don't think of abstainers as the drink police, and I don't think we are. If anything, I can go to pubs, I do have alcohol in the house, I can go to the supermarket at night etc, so I am not against alcohol. I am against alcohol in me.
If my drinking was sociable and fun, I would still be drinking. However, it started off fun, then I would overdo it and the consequences were no fun at all. Thus I have learnt to be AF, and it is great fun also. Just different fun.
I am all for people enjoying alcohol, but when it it costing more than money (i.e. making you worried about how much you're drinking, doing things which 'aren't you' , arguing with loved ones when drunk, etc) then I want people to see that their relationship with alcohol is not always fun, and can be very damaging to them and their families.

mcmanlyn

Hiya all,

Missed quite a bit of posting here, work is clamping down on internet use Always makes for interesting reading thou. I am on 12 days AF thou!! Surprised I've gone that long, given that work is stressing me out more than ever! I'm still craving a drink, a lot more than I thought I would actually :S I have been to the pub 4 times in the past week and stuck to pop thou

Yellowmonkey - I'm exactly the same as you, thinking that the only thing I have as a highlight of my day is a drink when I get home...the only thing that's making me think I should carry on with AF is that i've had more compliments in the past week than i've had in my life!!! And i've been asked out!! Maybe it's an AF coincidence, but maybe not

ineedtokickthehabbit

Thanks everyone

I will watch a bit of telly and catch up with X Factor this evening. I have lots of spring cleaning and washing to sort out so that will keep be busy for a while.

I do have some Hypnosis CD's so I'll have a bath and listen to that which should relax me and help get to sleep.

mrsdee

I think we each need to keep in mind what we are doing this for. I know looking back over the last twenty or thirty years that alcohol - or rather, me drinking it - has caused me to make some terrible decisions which I hugely regret. I've done and said some terrible things to my nearest and dearest. I have ruined job prospects and love prospects too, sadly.
I'm lucky enough to be at a place in my life where i know I can accept what happened in the past - it's done. What's important now, for me, is that I am no longer willing to put myself in the position again where I risk doing the same in the future.
I know now that the way for me to do that is to change my lifestyle and become a non-drinker. In the same way I became a non-smoker (that is not "giving it up" like it is something good/enjoyable) but freeing myself of it. I make the choice.
I actually prefer myself as a non-drinker. Being a drinker brought me misery, empty pockets, shame, degradation, regret, some bruises/broken bones, and other nightmares I will spare you.
It didnt bring me happiness, success, fun, friends or anything else worth having.
Being a non drinker gives me freedom, relief, happiness, lack of guilt, and a joy in living life as ME. I had to think about this for years and write these things down in lists - what has it brought me/what do I really want?
Finally I can see that there is a way out and I'm grabbing it!
Just wanted to share that in case there's anyone else there feeling the same...
take care everyone..

jo1972

Just heard on the radio that Steven Gately's family have said that it was a tragic accident as he died after an 8 hour drinking session :eek:

mollypolly

graemecarter wrote: »

Glad you had a good weekend. For most people alcohol IS fun and sociable, it just isn't when it is inside me!! I don't think of abstainers as the drink police, and I don't think we are. If anything, I can go to pubs, I do have alcohol in the house, I can go to the supermarket at night etc, so I am not against alcohol. I am against alcohol in me.
If my drinking was sociable and fun, I would still be drinking. However, it started off fun, then I would overdo it and the consequences were no fun at all. Thus I have learnt to be AF, and it is great fun also. Just different fun.
I am all for people enjoying alcohol, but when it it costing more than money (i.e. making you worried about how much you're drinking, doing things which 'aren't you' , arguing with loved ones when drunk, etc) then I want people to see that their relationship with alcohol is not always fun, and can be very damaging to them and their families.

Excellent post by GC....Thanks for all the input.

Also great post by mrsdee.......That just about says it all for me.

Hope everyone's good on this lovely sunny day
love Mollypollyxxxx

suweb5

I've read some of your posts with tears in my eyes and nods of recognition. There seem to be a lot of people who are finding things particularly difficult at present. Be strong but be kind to yourself. Accept help and support from wherever and from whomever you need to.
I'm finding it difficult to say what I want to say but please know that I am sending hugs :grouphug:(or whatever you need) to you all.
I have had a difficult weekend myself (my autistic son's behaviour was particularly challenging, one of the tvs didn't survive he threw it across the room!) but I did manage to stay AF on Friday so that's another one for my total please fayjmck.

GreyPilgrim

IcelandicMaiden wrote: »

I'm on 11/30 for October, and if my memory serves me correct 26/100 of my challenge. I am now starting to seriously think about staying AF when my challenge finishes

Hmmm...

I started my 100 day thing as a bit of a personal test. A way to prove to myself that I could go 100 days without beer, a way to help lose some lard, and also as a way to appreciate a drink at the end of it, because we all know stuff tastes better after not having it for a while. 'Delayed Gratification', etc etc etc.

I spend the first couple of weeks teasing myself with how nice that first beer is going to taste.

But now I'm imagining waking up on day 101 with a stinking hangover and a tongue like a peep-show carpet. I'm not sure I really want to celebrate reaching my alcohol free target by getting drunk to be honest.

I'm not entirely sure I'm missing it.