MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. What's the price of romance?

Amberlina

Something similar happened to me on my birthday which actually caused some quite serious issues in our relationship.

OH had been going on for ages about how much he needs a holiday, especially after we were both ill over Easter and didn't really manage to recharge as much as we'd hoped and after a couple of days sat on his laptop searching for cheap deals said to me 'I've found a really good deal over your birthday week, how about we go then?'.

He's thinking: 'I'm doing this really nice thing and taking Amberlina on holiday for her birthday'

I'm thinking: 'He's desperate for a holiday, we might as well kill two birds with one stone and celebrate my birthday at the same time'

It wasn't a great holiday, we tried to fit in a mini-European tour in five days! Lessons were learned. But back to the point: we were in Vienna the day before my birthday and I saw these horse-drawn carriage rides advertised and I said 'Oh, that looks like fun, it would be nice to do something like that' (hypothetically but secretly thinking that he'd planned to do something like that) to which he replied 'Yes, I looked into doing that tomorrow on your birthday. It turns out it cost 50euro for 20 minutes. Do you still want to do it?'

Obviously after he'd said that I had to say no, it's too expensive but deep down I felt as if he'd basically said I wasn't worth it.

It was compounded by the fact that he hadn't planned anything at all for my birthday itself! Not even booking the restaurant; the restaurant he'd planned to take me to turned out to be... wait for it... too expensive! (Although on this point I had to agree, it really was unethically expensive when we had a look at the menu) The whole experience made me feel that he really didn't love me, or was too self absorbed to think about me and what might make me feel special.

We have worked it all out since, and he planned a fantastic and romantic (but value for money!) anniversary which made up for the birthday experience. It genuinely ruined my birthday though and i'm sure that Bella would feel the same.

robin_banks

THe price of romance is;

half a dozen bottles of WKD and a chicken/donner mix.

No onions though.

Gavin83

Amberlina wrote: »

Something similar happened to me on my birthday which actually caused some quite serious issues in our relationship.

OH had been going on for ages about how much he needs a holiday, especially after we were both ill over Easter and didn't really manage to recharge as much as we'd hoped and after a couple of days sat on his laptop searching for cheap deals said to me 'I've found a really good deal over your birthday week, how about we go then?'.

He's thinking: 'I'm doing this really nice thing and taking Amberlina on holiday for her birthday'

I'm thinking: 'He's desperate for a holiday, we might as well kill two birds with one stone and celebrate my birthday at the same time'

It wasn't a great holiday, we tried to fit in a mini-European tour in five days! Lessons were learned. But back to the point: we were in Vienna the day before my birthday and I saw these horse-drawn carriage rides advertised and I said 'Oh, that looks like fun, it would be nice to do something like that' (hypothetically but secretly thinking that he'd planned to do something like that) to which he replied 'Yes, I looked into doing that tomorrow on your birthday. It turns out it cost 50euro for 20 minutes. Do you still want to do it?'

Obviously after he'd said that I had to say no, it's too expensive but deep down I felt as if he'd basically said I wasn't worth it.

It was compounded by the fact that he hadn't planned anything at all for my birthday itself! Not even booking the restaurant; the restaurant he'd planned to take me to turned out to be... wait for it... too expensive! (Although on this point I had to agree, it really was unethically expensive when we had a look at the menu) The whole experience made me feel that he really didn't love me, or was too self absorbed to think about me and what might make me feel special.

We have worked it all out since, and he planned a fantastic and romantic (but value for money!) anniversary which made up for the birthday experience. It genuinely ruined my birthday though and i'm sure that Bella would feel the same.

Did you split the cost of the holiday or did he get it for your birthday?

sarahjo_2

yorkshireman99 and tangojulie def have the right idea. He's taking her FOR her birthday not ON it. I don't think he should back out because it costs more than he expected, it wouldn't a bit cruel to get Bella all excited and then disappoint her. Just book for a different weekend - simple!

volzhskyboy

DO IT! Don't :think:

volzhskyboy

Do it my man, Prince or no Prince you have the money so stop being a tight a**se and spend it. If you're too tight to pay the bill then you don't deserve your dessert!

Frugaldom

thebaroness wrote: »

He should take her, and then learn not to make promises he can't keep! :-)

I agree. He made the promise, he has the money, what sort of lying cheapskate is he if he lets her down now?

moneysavinglaura

why not go the following weekend? My boyfriend always forgets to book things and then we have to do something exciting a few weeks later. I'm happy though - it just means a long protracted birthday with lots of excitement (he takes me out for a nice meal on the day too - he's lovely but disorganised!)
PS. if he has the money though, he shouldn't be such a stinge!

freelancemermaid

They're both MSE fans and would prefer to go when the cheaper tickets are available :-)

Money spent does NOT equal love.

annefromantrim

Of course he should take her
because
He promised
He can afford it
he will learn to check before he leaps next time
He will enjoy himself
He will forget the cost soon enough