why do you stay?/ would you stay?

andru

Lies really hurt deep down and deciet but i know my wife is a wonderfull person and i just think that she is going through a crisis in her life and that she will come out of it,i'll keep you updated in my original post and hopefully we can turn a corner. I will forgive her but I'll never be able to forget it and certainly not throw it back in her face in the future.

Jo_F

My other half knows that I am a naturally flirty person, and he also knows that playful flirting is as far as it would ever go.

With regard to texts etc, as I actually do that for a living, I can't comment on it, yes I do get texts from guys that are cheating on their partners, and I will admit that i left my husband for another man, but, in most cases, the fault is not only with the one that strays, there is usually something that makes them do it, in my case it was a mentally abusive alcoholic husband, I tried many times to fix the marriage, he didn't so I gave up.

I know other people from 'broken' marriages and having listened to it all, it does seem as if it was fault on both sides that caused it, the exception being if you are with a serial philanderer

System

In my eyes it comes down to one of 2 things, either something isn't right in the relationship, or one of you is a serial philanderer. In the case of the former, either fix what's broken or get out of the relationship, and if its the latter, well they really shouldn't be in a relationship. I just hate the thought of the lies, and the pain cheating causes people.

Outdoorlass

myothercarisaferrari wrote: »

I've noticed over the last few weeks there have been a lot of post about partner's cheating.

My own personal opinion on cheating is a) I wouldn't do and b) if my partner cheated once, i would leave without a fight or an explanation. I think it is the ultimate betrayal and any trust, respect and love would go.

I saw my own mother's life wrecked after my dad cheated on her through almost 30 years of marriage. He had a child with another woman in the first year of marriage but she stuck with him, he disappeared for weeks on end and she stuck with him. She left him finally when he had a another child with another woman (who posted the birth certificate and DNA test through her her letterbox at work:rolleyes:).

Ten years on, my mother is a shadow of her former self and she let a man do this to her. Its devastating.

So sorry if this is harsh but I cannot understand people who stay with their OH's if they cheat. If they do it once, they'll do it again. That's just my opinion. A kiss or sex, its cheating. Texting and having intimate conversations is cheating too (to me!)


x

Agree completely, although it would absolutely break my heart in two, I would have to kick him out.

SCAMPIDOODLE

My husband was cheated on by his ex wife.

I cheated on my ex when I started seeing my current husband. I was so ashamed of myself at the time, (no kids) but I was really unhappy in my first marriage We have been together 20 years now, I often wonder how in the world he can trust me after what had happened to him in his past.
but he must - I have never looked at another man, so it must have been the right thing to do.

Courgette

I couldn't imagine being able to stay with a man who had cheated but I also think it's difficult to say what you'd do in a situation that you haven't experienced. Life is complicated and poeple do sometimes f*ck up

lilmissmup

I think its hard to judge unless your unlucky enough to have had it happen to you.

My ex (split for other reasons) kissed someone drunkenly six months into our relationship and i managed to forgive him and just about forget.

He also did texts with a girl he met in a WAP chatroom a few years in that i nearly dumped him for but we worked through that and he did stop.Although the reasons we split were he didnt want to commit to a family with me after 6.5yrs so i guess it was all part of it....

Sex I don't think i could handle though and hope i never encounter that with a man.

I could never cheat on anyone, i feel guilty for treading on a snail!

DeeDee74

i'm not sure i'd end my relationship if my oh cheated on me.
sure id be hurt and i'd have to find out why but i'm sure i'd forgive him.... eventually

ive been both cheated on by an ex.
and then cheated on the same ex with his brother.

i did give me ex another chance, but things werent the same and i certainly didnt forget about it. once the trust is gone it's hard to build on that.

i do think it's a case of somethings missing in your relationship well that was the case when i cheated, he didnt give me what i needed so i found it else where..

Snuggles

I always used to think I'd never stay with someone who cheated on me in any way. But then I met my DF, and I love him so much and so completely, that I know I wouldn't just call it quits if the worst happended. I have to say I am 100% certain he would never cheat on me, but hypothetically speaking...

If it was a one off and it was just sex, I think I could forgive. If he turned out to be a serial philanderer, then no, I couldn't put up with that. If it was a long term affair, with someone who he became emotionally close to, I think that would hurt me more than anything and would be extremely difficult to get over.

I hope I never find myself having to answer the question for real, and my heart goes out to anyone who is in that situation.

BallandChain

andru wrote: »

If you look at my post here and have a while to read all the way through it you'll see i have been decieved and lied to but that is all.Its hard to get through it but i am determined to make it work.If there had been a sexuall encounter then it would be over instantly.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1912981

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