why do you stay?/ would you stay?

myothercarisaferrari

I've noticed over the last few weeks there have been a lot of post about partner's cheating.

My own personal opinion on cheating is a) I wouldn't do and b) if my partner cheated once, i would leave without a fight or an explanation. I think it is the ultimate betrayal and any trust, respect and love would go.

I saw my own mother's life wrecked after my dad cheated on her through almost 30 years of marriage. He had a child with another woman in the first year of marriage but she stuck with him, he disappeared for weeks on end and she stuck with him. She left him finally when he had a another child with another woman (who posted the birth certificate and DNA test through her her letterbox at work:rolleyes:).

Ten years on, my mother is a shadow of her former self and she let a man do this to her. Its devastating.

So sorry if this is harsh but I cannot understand people who stay with their OH's if they cheat. If they do it once, they'll do it again. That's just my opinion. A kiss or sex, its cheating. Texting and having intimate conversations is cheating too (to me!)

So, would you stay with someone who cheated? If it has ahappened to you, why did you stay?

x

maggied_2

I would like to think I would be gone the second someone cheated on me. In fact I'd have to as I don't think I would ever be able to forgive and move on from it.
I too think 'emotional' cheating is just as bad - flirty / sexual texting or emailing shows a total lack of respect for your partner.

However I don't have children and I wonder if I would change my mind if I did. I do know someone whose husband cheated on her while she was pregnant with her second child (class act or what?!) and although they've worked it out she hasn't forgiven him really...

Anyone thinking of breaking up their marriage / family because they fancy a little extra should come on here and see the devastating consequences on some of the threads here.

Interesting question!

memelalou

I couldn't forgive and i could never forget.
For me it just wouldn't just be the 'act' but everything else what goes with it, the betrayal, the lies and disrespect.
I know some people who just say 'it's just sex' or have excuses like our relationship wasn't working, but for me yes it is natural to find someone else attractive but even if your relationship is at rock bottom have the decency to end your relationship before you move on.

MrsAnnie

It is a shame that many people loose themselves, their self respect, their confidence and their pride when in relationships and it goes on for so long that it is like a deep dark hole which is so, so hard to climb out of.

not_tonight_josephine_2

I don't think I could ever forget, but depending on the circumstances I might be prepared to try to forgive. I think it's possible that a relationship can be worth saving even after infidelity - I know it would be incredibly hard, but some people do come through these things and end up stronger.

So it's an "I don't know" for me!

carolan78

I would like to think I would walk away but I am not 100% convinced I could. First time I would try to work things out because within my marriage at least they would have to be something drastically wrong for DH to even contemplate going elsewhere. If I simply couldn't move on from it then I would walk because theres no point us both living a miserable life.

I have two children to concider too though, if they weren't in the equation then I don't think I would have any qualms of walking away. If it happened a second time then I certainly would walk..once he may have made a stupid mistake, but the second time there's no excuse what so ever.

marshmallows

I suppose this is a question where we could all say what we think we would do but until we actually go through it we will never really know.

My husband and I have been through some rough times and we have dealt with it and moved on, supported each other and trusted each other 100%, we are also very open and honest. I have no idea how i would cope/what i would do if he did cheat on me.

ceebeeby

Forgive - Possibly / Yes
Forget - Never

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Hi - I was the same as you were, always saying "if anyone cheated on me they'd be out on their backside"

BUT

My OH has cheated, kissed and flirted via texts and ive took him back, I wont forget but im learning to forgive. We've been together for 7 years and have a DD together. It took me a while to decided i wanted to stay together and he knows this is his last chance.

shazrobo

i would never cheat on my partner, and trust him never to do the same, if he did there would be no forgive and forget

kindofagilr

I would like to say he would be out on his ear, but I love him so much that I cannot imagine life without him so I am totally unsure as to what I would actually do?

OH would never cheat on me, I know I will probably get responses saying that I can't possibly know for sure. Well I think I can, I trust him 1 million % and he trusts me too.