Problem with PWC - long one, sorry!

lynzpower

Oh OK.

Youve tried the reasonable approach then!

I think PR is the way to go, and the contact order. I cant see her being overly reasonable about this so Im thinking you need to hit hard and well as it were, making sure you are in aa row legally wit h a solicitor who can get it over & done with, short, sharp shock.

She seems very much in that denial- anger stage and is stuck. Wonder whether some sort of therapy would work - she isnt going to be interested, but have social workers ever been involved?

Climbing over walls and ranting adn raving sounds pretty unbalanced to me.

I agree with you about the emotional abuse but she also knows how to manipulate SD - even this morning as she was leading her down the drive she was saying "you just wanted to see me didn't you darling" - UGH!!!!

poor kid.

maggied_2

Thanks LP.
Social workers haven't been involved but she spins a good yarn...tbh even her family haven't got much good to say about her.

And you're completely right - as livid as I am I feel so sorry for SD. I can't imagine how distressed and confused I would have been at 8 to witness a scene like that. She has done similar before......some people don't deserve the privilege of having children.

lynzpower

Do you know the other child well? How are they doing?

maggied_2

No I don't. He's a 4 yo boy with behavioural problems. No comment.

Dancing_Shoes

Right, firstly (((hug))). I know EXACTLY what you are going through, you must report her nehaviour to the police they will then come out and make a statement and if you are happy for them to proceed they will knock on her door and ask her to stop harrassing you and advise her of the harrassment act. You have nothing to lose by going down this route and if she is threatening this then it is better for you to "get in first" (sorry can't think of another phrase). With regards to the PR you need to ring around your local solicitors and find out who deals with family law and who you can get a free initial consultation with. Once you have the crime ref number every time she rings and gives you grief or turns up then you need to ring the police (without answering door if she is there) and they will come out and then she will really start to encounter problems. If she cares at all about her children she will stop after the first visit from the police as they will also notify social services if they think the children are at risk and by the sounds of it they are if they have witnessed all of that.

Please don't sit back and take this grief, it can stop but you need to act on it

maggied_2

Cheers DS - I can't help but feel that could inflame the situation. Could I log it and then they have it on file and only act on it if it happens again?

I know she will also stop OH going to her house if I do it....which would be OK if she answered the door every time he's picking his DD up....

I think if we go down that route there's no going back. I don't have that much of a problem with it but could it be more harmful to OH and his DD? If there wasn't a child involved I'd have done it straightaway.

maggied_2

Just found out that the health visitors are keeping an eye on her and the chidren.....

Thriftysaver

Hi Maggied,

Sorry to hear about what you are going through with the oh ex. My Oh ex is jealous too and has caused grief in the past, although there is no way she would have got on my path and she knows it. However my friend went through much worse than I did. Similar story to yourself.

My friend's oh ex was so twisted she reported my friend to social services as not fit to look after her kids (my friend is a social worker). Cafcass had to come out and investigate. my friend was humiliated and pilloried on this woman's say so. She stopped him seeing the kids, kept asking for departures to be done at csa and kept incurring arrears. All his finances were scrutinised because she kept saying he was living beyond his means. He wasn't. My friend and her oh are on decent pay. (jealous cow). He took her to court on numerous occasions and she was threatened by judge to allow him to see his kids.

She turned up at their door kicking off. Police removed her. £5000 solicitors fees later and the courts still didn't prosecute her. He eventually gave up arguing. The kids are now older, unruly but are aware of the wrong she has done. But she is still their mother.....

I don't know what you are going to do. I personally would not be held hostage to this nasty piece of work. As you say she goes out every weekend so it wouldn't be long before she was asking for you to take her dd. My oh ex did this and we gave up in the end. They are now (step child and oh) sorting out their relationship without her interference.

Good luck and hugs


Thriftysaver

maggied_2

Morning all. After a rubbish night's sleep (!) I've decided I am going to inform the police.
It's going to cause one almightly s**t storm but have decided I will not be intimidated by her in my own house.

By the way - never really got an answer, just wondering if anyone knew if it would be possible for her to get an injunction out against me to stop me seeing SD. I know she's only doing it because she thinks it would split us up because it'll force OH to choose between me and his DD.

Zara33

maggied wrote: »

Morning all. After a rubbish night's sleep (!) I've decided I am going to inform the police.
It's going to cause one almightly s**t storm but have decided I will not be intimidated by her in my own house.

By the way - never really got an answer, just wondering if anyone knew if it would be possible for her to get an injunction out against me to stop me seeing SD. I know she's only doing it because she thinks it would split us up because it'll force OH to choose between me and his DD.

Could you and your partner/husband apply for a contact order?

Contact Orders - section 8 Children Act 1989
These are orders that require the person with whom a child lives to allow that child to visit, stay or have contact with a person named in the order.
Orders continue until the child is 16 years. The court will only make contact orders for children over 16 years old in exceptional circumstances.
Contact can either be direct e.g. face-to-face meetings with a person or indirect e.g. by letter, video, exchange of Christmas cards etc.
Some orders will be very specific as to times, dates and arrangements for contact, other orders will be more open with detailed arrangements to be made between the parties by agreement.
These orders are not just obtained by parents for contact with their children, there can also be orders for contact between siblings or the child and wider family members.
Sometimes the order will give directions that the contact is to be supervised by a third person. The order may also only be for a specific period or contain provisions which operate for a specific period.
These are orders of the court and to not comply with them can be a contempt of court with serious consequences.
http://www.cafcass.gov.uk/the_law_about_children/contact_and_residence.aspx#contactorders