Problem with PWC - long one, sorry!

looktothefuture

maggied wrote: »

Soubrette - can't decide whether she has mental health issues or is just a nasty, manipulative witch. I think it's the latter.

I'm so tired of her - can't believe this is going to go on for another 10 years....

Maggied, I think it could be both tbh with you! My bio-mother IS a nasty, manipulative, deceitful and disgusting specimen of a woman and I'm sure she does have a mental problem or two!

I'm too tired of the bio-mom in my life, she's caused enough heartache and shows no remorse whatsoever... sometimes I wish I could magic her out of my life forever!

MinniMe_2

I have no words of advice, just wanted to give you a big hug

maggied_2

She stopped OH seeing DD when she was little for about 3 months. Honestly, anyone that could think that was an alright thing to do.

LP - I do know what you're saying but the alternative seems to be tip toeing around her until DD is old enough to decidde where she wants to stay - don't think my sanity could take that!

Anyone have an opinion on the injunction / whether I should log a complaint about her?

She's also now saying she taped what happened this morning on her phone (don't think she'll come out of that as well as she hopes given what she was saying).

chriszzz

As soon as she turned up you would of been best ringing the police, If you let her get away with it she will, you have to send out the message that you will not tolerate this behaviour in front of the child and at you front door.
If your OH had gone and caused trouble at her front door she would of been straight on the fone to the police and made your OH was the one causing trouble and then when she stops access she will have the police back up that he was causing trouble.

Stay away from her and do it through the proffesionals if you can afford to

maggied_2

LTTF - how do you go about getting a contact order? Does it make a difference that OH has no parental responsibility? SD was born 2001 and they weren't married?

Oh and thank you for the hug! Much needed!

maggied_2

Right have done some googling. It would appear that you do need PR to get a contact order.

How can you go about getting PR - OH has spoken to X about it and she said yes but have a feeling that might change.....

DO you need a solicitor to get either PR or a contact order through the courts? If so, any idea of a rough cost?

Soubrette

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRights/DG_4002954

No idea of cost though - probably depends on the attitude of the other parent.

Could you make an appointment with CAB to at least get some idea as to the process or try one of those free half hour sessions if any local solicitors offer them?

Sou

Soubrette

http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/index.php?nID=65

This gives some options depending on whether the resident parent is happy to confer parental responsibility or not.

Still no mention of costs though

Sou

lynzpower

Have you thought about getting some advice from Families Need Fathers? they are not all nutcases and i understand the helpline is really good.

LP - I do know what you're saying but the alternative seems to be tip toeing around her until DD is old enough to decidde where she wants to stay - don't think my sanity could take that!

I disagree. My personal feeling- like others and probably yours is that what she is doing is emotionally abusing her child. The poor mite wont know who to be loyal to, its very damaging.

I would be more inclined to meet with her, with a mediator- maybe your local SS can help, and explain why you feel that she is letting her daughter down, from the stance of "we are the adults here we all want whats best for D" therefore PR is needed. Be straight, clear, adult,. !!!!! fotting around is probably letting her know you ae scared, and you neednt act like that. If you are equipped with good legal support, then you should feel confident.

As an aside, if she is mentally unwell, and at some point becomes unable to care for, having PR will place you first in the queue to look after her legally.

How is D doing at school/ with freinds etc?

maggied_2

I don't think she's mentally ill really, I just think she's vile. Sorry but total lack of sympathy for her campaign of nastiness. Apparently she's done the same with the father of her other child.

I don't think meeting with her would be an option as she is fundamentally not a reasonable person - what kind of person climbs over someone's wall leaving two 4 yo children on the pavement just so she can make a point and chuck in some verbal abuse while she's at it? OH has always been reasonable towards her (although not in her eyes) and it hasn't done any good.

I think the plan of action needs to be get PR, get contact order and then maybe she can stop using her children as emotional leverage.

I agree with you about the emotional abuse but she also knows how to manipulate SD - even this morning as she was leading her down the drive she was saying "you just wanted to see me didn't you darling" - UGH!!!!

About 2 years ago I actually tried meeting up with her so that there wouldn't be any awkwardness and that we could all get on. She didn't show up and when I tried to re-arrange she accused me of harrassing her. She doesn't accept me at all and I think she honestly thinks she will be back together with OH one day.

SD doesn't do too brilliantly socially although I think that's improving.

I think OH *is* a bit scared of her in a way - she is vindictive enough to use her children to her own ends (I could tell a gazillion stories that would show this but haven't the energy) - she threatened to move 200 miles away once because I went with OH to watch SD swimming......bonkers.